Lawana Gladney - If Youre In the Drivers Seat, Why Are You Lost?: A Roadmap to an Amazing Life

If Youre In the

Drivers Seat,

Why Are You Lost?

Copyright 2014 by Lawana Gladney

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

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First e-book edition: January 2014

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Gladney, Lawana, 1963

If youre in the drivers seat, why are you lost? : a roadmap to an amazing life / by Dr. Lawana Gladney.

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 978-1-939529-08-4 (trade paper : alk. paper)ISBN 978-1-939529-09-1

(electronic : alk. paper) 1. Self-confidence. 2. Adjustment (Psychology).

3. Adaptability (Psychology). I. Title.

BF575.S39G53 2014

158.1dc23

2013029547

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To my loving mother, Shirley:

You have given me my emotional and

spiritual grounding, and

loved me through every part of my lifes journey.

To my wonderful children, Jordan, Bria, Jazzy, and Lexi:

I love you with every fiber of my being and feel honored

and blessed to carry the most prestigious title this world

has to offer: your mother.

To my angels, Charles and Chelsie:

You are forever in my heart.

Contents

Coping with a Broken GPS, No Maps, and No Directions

Defining Your Destiny

Defeating Your Insecurities

Facingand OvercomingYour Fears

Dealing with Your Thoughts and Beliefs

Controlling Your Tongue

Managing Your Emotions

Identifying and Veering Away from People Who Are Toxic

Solidifying Your Relationships

Treating Yourself Rightthe Mind/Body Connection

Taming Your Finances

Finding Joy and Peace Through Spirituality

Slowing Down to Enjoy the Moment

Introduction: The Journey

I T MAY HAVE BEEN early morning, midday, or late evening when you came into this world, and you may have entered kicking and screaming, or you may have needed a vigorous rub to kick-start that welcoming cry. But however it happened, from that very moment, you started on your journey. The journey called your life.

Your journey started out pretty fast. Within the first few years you learned to crawl, walk, and talk; your learned your ABCs and 1, 2, 3s; and you successfully adapted to change, transitioning from mommys milk to solid food and from Pampers to Pull-Ups. Growing up was pretty normal and you probably even were applauded with each new progression you made.

As you continued to grow and develop, you began to experience lifes ups and downs. If your childhood was ideal, then from the ages of five to twelve, it was filled with the innocence of school days, field trips, snack times, recesses, extracurricular activities, after-school programs, and weekends with family activities, birthday parties, and sleepovers.

But by the time you hit the magical teen years, you probably felt a bit (or greatly) lost for the first time. Maybe you were uncertain about who you were. Maybe your friends were changing. Maybe your parents became annoying and school became a place where you had to go. The older you became, the more you experienced the bumps, detours, traffic jams, and road blocks, which came in the form of break-ups, family fallouts, stalls in your career, or unexpected losses. You found that events and circumstances can knock you off your feet and leave you feeling stressed, confused, and lost.

Sometimes those uncomfortable feelings dont go away easily. Perhaps you still feel lost, or maybe you feel newly lost due to something that has occurred recently in your life. Whether youre embarking on a career at age twenty-two or are seeing your children off to college at age fifty-two, you need strategies to help you get unlost. You need help in mapping out your lifes direction so your path will lead you to the life you want to what I call your amazing life. If Youre In the Drivers Seat, Why Are You Lost? is here to equip you with these strategies.

The Need for GPS

Ive used car and trip terminology and analogies throughout the book because the journey of life is similar to the trips that we take each day when we get into our cars. Some trips are easy and uneventfula direct shot from point A to B, with few complications along the way. Inevitably, however, we have trips that are delayed because of unforeseen circumstancesa detour, traffic, an accident, or faulty navigation. Anyone who has experienced any of these hindrances knows how frustrating they can be, and how they can lead us into feeling stressed out and out of control. Thus, weve seen the rapid rise in ubiquity of the Global Positioning System (GPS), which has become a lifesaver for many of us.

Like so many other modern conveniences, the GPS is so helpful that weve become dependent on it and cant imagine what we did before we had a lady talking to us and telling us where to turn in 0.5 miles or how to reroute. Well, I suppose I do remember. We used cutting edge technology like MapQuestjust plug in an address and youd be given the directions to anywhere in the country. All you had to do was to print out twenty pages, keep them in order, and follow them closely while driving, and youd actually reach your destination. Compared with using a GPS, thats a lot of work. However, it still beats trying to unfold a large physical map in the car while navigating at the same time! Just think what it once took to just drive across the city to a friends house or an appointment. It was like working through a maze. Hopefully you knew where you were going, because if you didnt, youd have to find a phone so you could stop to call for directions.

We now live in the high-tech age where trifold maps have largely gone the way of cassette tapes and you dont have to print out directions, because you can download a navigation app to your phone. Or, even better, you can purchase a GPS to mount in your car or even buy a car that comes equipped with the technology.

Wouldnt it be great if we had a similarly helpful tool to guide us on a far more important trip: Life? Wouldnt it be great if this guide would keep us headed in the right direction, help us stay focused on our destination, and help us make sure we can get back on the right route if we get lost? Consider this book your personal GPS, a talking roadmap that will help you navigate from where you are in life right now to exactly where you want to be. Whether you are lost and wandering around without direction, or, if youve hit a roadblock, this book will help you understand how to manage your emotions, your stress, your health, and your overall life.