Endorsements
As American Christianity changes, and as we change along with it, we need guides to remind us who we are and who were not. Sara has been one such guide for me. Shes brutally honest and hilarious, and her heart is wide open to the radical possibility that belonging to Jesus is identity enough for Christians. I couldnt be more grateful for her.
Jon Guerra , singer-songwriter and producer
I needed this book. I have no glowing words of endorsement, no pithy comments of promotion; I just have this: Sara and I, we overlapped like a Venn diagram in the themes of this bookthe wrecking of our childish understanding of theology, the intentions gone wild, the incredulity of what it means to be a child and an orphan simultaneously. I needed this book, and I am grateful it is now in the world.
Lore Ferguson Wilbert , author of A Curious Faith and Handle with Care
Billups reminds us that no matter who we are or where we come from, God can move us from a place on the margins to a community of faith. She calls us forward, with deep care for the people of God.
Foxy Davison , educator and activist
This is the book youve been waiting for: the book that addresses those who love Jesus but find themselves disoriented by the ways he is wielded and weaponized in halls of power. This is a book for those who mourn the disconnect between the American church complex and the Bride of Christ. Half journalist, half mystic, Sara reminds us we are not alone and helps us move forward with the greatest gift: hope.
Erin Hicks Moon , writer and podcaster
I wept as I read Sara Billupss Orphaned Believers because so much of her story is similar to my own. And though the similarities are daunting, the grace and wisdom she dispenses is exhilarating and so totally relieving. She proposes that there is a legitimate way forward for followers of Jesus. If you have been made weary by too many conspiracy theories and the outrage thereof, I invite you to feast on the grace and wisdom in Orphaned Believers . There is a balm for those of us connected, whether intimately or at a distance, with the American church. Sara Billupss voice is one that, if we are willing, will prophetically point us beyond the various problematic ideologies that have held us hostage to a life led by the Holy Spirit and toward the tender, merciful ways of Christ.
Andy Squyres , musician and writer
Theres wilderness in all of us, Sara writes. Were lost and found a little every day. And in her honest-but-hopeful reflections, Sara helped me feel just a bit more found than I did beforeorphaned but also anchored in a much better story than the one the worlds been selling me over the past decades. I needed this book more than I knew.
Chuck DeGroat , author, therapist, and professor of pastoral care and Christian spirituality at Western Theological Seminary
Half Title Page
Title Page
Copyright Page
2023 by Sara Billups
Published by Baker Books
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.bakerbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2023
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-3958-4
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION, NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Scripture quotations labeled ERV are from the HOLY BIBLE: EASY-TO-READ VERSION 2014 by Bible League International. Used by permission.
Scripture quotations labeled ESV are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ESV Text Edition: 2016
Scripture quotations labeled Message are from THE MESSAGE , copyright 1993, 2002, 2018 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Scripture quotations labeled NRSVUE are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
The author is represented by the literary agency of The Bindery Agency, www.TheBindery Agency.com.
Baker Publishing Group publications use paper produced from sustainable forestry practices and post-consumer waste whenever possible.
Dedication
For Tom
Contents
Endorsements
Half Title Page
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Introduction
Part One: END TIMES
1. Risky Business
2. Sad Confetti
3. End-Times Kids
4. One Way
Part Two: CULTURE WARS
5. Old Fear, New Age
6. Hot Buttons
7. Christian Soldiers
8. Work of the People
Part Three: CONSUMERISM
9. American American
10. Gold Teeth
12. Burnout and the Aspirational Class
13. Burned but Not Consumed
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
Notes
About the Author
Back Cover
Introduction
I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.
John 14:18
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Coriander seeds and cilantro. The seed of a baby and a fleshy face. I thought my countercultural faith and my dads faith were different, and I discovered that, all along, they were really the same.
But the Christianity he passed down to me wasnt enough to keep me steadfast.
In the 70s, Jesus People and young evangelical converts like Dad tried to start a revolution inspired by an eschatology predicated on the quick return of Jesus, but its fervor eventually fizzled. By the time I was a kid in the opulent 80s, my parents attended a cookie-cutter nondenominational suburban church and had traded ideals of a radical faith for a cul-de-sac.
Still, I stayed a Christian after being raised by a Jewish-turned-evangelical father so steeped in end-times prophecy that he told me I wouldnt grow up and start a family before the world ended.
I stayed a Christian after my college pastor, a former Jesus Movement hippie, taught me God would make any dream real if I asked. Like the flesh of an orange turning purple from mulling wine, the blood of the Lamb would permeate any idea if I truly believed.
I stayed a Christian after we followed that pastors theology and tried to start an intentional community in Seattle. And I stayed a Christian for the decade after, while watching many friends leave the church. In those years, I began to understand a left-behind feeling. I was treading in the same church waters while others were riding waves to an evolving or estranged faith. I did not feel set apart or hidden with Christ. It was a time of isolation and quiet, and I held a constant, sometimes physical unsettlednessthe feeling of carrying a heavy bag over my shoulder when there was really just air.
Sometimes, in those years, I stayed a Christian by choice. Sometimes I stayed because I realized being a Christian wasnt contingent on my striving. It was, of course, about Jesus, and a small liberation came from removing myself from the center of the story. Sometimes I stayed a Christian by brute force. Because if I wasnt a Christian, where would my identity drift? Who would I become? Sometimes I stayed because the church held me up, or my husband held me up. Other times I stayed because I sensed Gods quiet hesed , his loyal love, in the middle of the drought.