CHAPTER 1The Broken Nest, 1841.
CHAPTER 2Religious Life.
CHAPTER 3Ordination.
CHAPTER 4Antiquarian Researches and Ministry, 184346.
CHAPTER 5The New Parish, 1846.
CHAPTER 6The Awakening, 184851.
CHAPTER 7Conversion, 1851.
CHAPTER 8The Awakening, 184851.
CHAPTER 9The Visitor, 1851.
CHAPTER 10The First Christmas, 185152.
CHAPTER 11Dreams and Visions, 18514.
CHAPTER 12Billy Bray, 1852.
CHAPTER 13Cottage Meetings, 1852.
CHAPTER 14Open-Air Services, 1852.
CHAPTER 15Drawing-Room Meetings, 185253.
CHAPTER 16Opposition, 1853.
CHAPTER 17Individual Cases, 1853.
CHAPTER 18A Visit to Veryan, 1853.
CHAPTER 19A Mission in the "Shires." 1853.
CHAPTER 20A Stranger from London, 1853.
CHAPTER 21Golant Mission, 1854.
CHAPTER 22The High Church Rector, 1854.
CHAPTER 23A Mission in Staffordshire, 1854.
CHAPTER 24Sanctification.
CHAPTER 25The Removal, 1855
CHAPTER 26Plymouth, 1855
CHAPTER 27Devonport, 1855
CHAPTER 28A Mission to the North, 1855
CHAPTER 29Tregoney, 1855
CHAPTER 30Secessions, 1856
CHAPTER 31Hayle, 185758
CHAPTER 32Bible Readings, 185859
CHAPTER 33The Work Continued, 1859
CHAPTER 34The Dismissal, 186061
INTRODUCTION
This volume is not so much a history of my own life, as of the Lord'sdealings with me; setting forth how He wrought in and by me during thespace of twenty years. It will be observed that this is not, asbiographies generally are, an account of life on to death; but ratherthe other waya narrative of transition from death into life, and thatin more senses than one.
I had been given over by three physicians to die, but it pleased theLord, in answer to prayer, to raise me up again. My restored health andstrength I thankfully devoted to a religious and earnest life. In theheight and seeming prosperity of this, the Lord awakened me to see thatI was dead in trespasses and sins; still far from Him; resting on my ownworks; and going about to establish my own righteousness, instead ofsubmitting to the righteousness of God. Then He quickened me by the HolyGhost, and raised me up into a new and spiritual life.
In this volume the reader will meet with the respective results of (whatI have called) the Religious, as distinguished from the Spiritual, life.The former produced only outward and ecclesiastical effects, while thelatter brought forth fruit in the salvation of souls, to the praise andglory of God.
One object in writing this book is to warn and instruct earnest-mindedsouls, who are, as I was once, strangers to the experience of salvation,seeking rest where I am sure they can never find it, and labouring to dogood to others when they have not yet received that good themselves.They are vainly "building from the top;" trying to live before they areborn; to become holy before they have become justified; and to leadothers to conversion before they have been converted themselves.
A second object isto draw the attention of every earnest, seeking, oranxious soul, to consider the Lord's marvellous goodness in firstbearing with me in my religious wanderings, and then using me for Hisglory in the salvation of hundreds.
Another desire I have isto cheer the hearts of believers who areworking for God, by relating to them what He has done through me, andcan do again, by the simple preaching of the Gospel. Here the readerwill meet with narratives of the Lord's work in individual cases, incongregations, and in parisheswonderful things which are worthy ofrecord.
I have not shunned to tell of the mistakes I fell into after myconversion, hoping that others may take heed and profit by them; andthen I shall not have written in vain.
CHAPTER 1
Table of Contents
The Broken Nest, 1841.
At the time in which this history begins, I had, in the providence ofGod, a very happy nest; and as far as temporal prospects were concerned,I was provided for to my liking, and, though not rich, was content. Ihad taken my degree; was about to be ordained; and, what is more, wasengaged to be married; in order, as I thought, to settle down as anefficient country parson.
With this bright future before me, I went on very happily; when, oneevening, after a hard and tiring day, just as I was sitting down torest, a letter was put into my hand which had been following me forseveral days. "Most urgent" was written on the outside. It told me ofthe alarming illness of the lady to whom I was engaged, and went on tosay that if I wished to see her alive I must set off with all haste. Ittook me a very short time to pack my bag and get my travelling coats andrugs together, so that I was all ready to start by the night mail. Ateight o'clock punctually I left London for the journey of two hundredand eighty miles. All that night I sat outside the coach; all the nextday; and part of the following night. I shall never forget the misery ofmind and body that I experienced, for I was tired before starting; andthe fatigue of sitting up all night, together with the intense cold ofthe small hours of the morning, were almost beyond endurance. With themorning, however, came a warm and bright sunshine, which in some degreehelped to cheer me; but my bodily suffering was so great that I couldnever have held up had it not been for the mental eagerness with which Ilonged to get forward. It was quite consonant with my feelings when thehorses were put into full gallop, especially when they were tearing downone hill to get an impetus to mount another.
At length, the long, long journey was over; and about thirty hours afterstarting, I found myself staggering along to the well-known house. As Iapproached the door was softly opened by a relative who for several dayshad been anxiously watching my arrival. She at once conducted meupstairs, to what I expected was a sick chamber, when, to my horror, thefirst thing I saw was the lid of a coffin standing up against the wall,and in the middle of the room was the coffin, with candles burning oneither side.
I nearly fell to the ground with this tremendous shock and surprise.There was the dear face, but it seemed absorbed in itself, and to havelost all regard for me. It no longer turned to welcome me, nor was thehand stretched out, as theretofore, to meet mine. All was still; therewas no smileno voiceno welcome-nothing but the silence of death togreet me.
The sight of that coffin, with its quiet inmate, did not awaken sorrow
so much as surprise; and with that, something like anger and rebellion.
I was weak and exhausted in body, but strong in wilful insubordination.
Murmuring and complaining, I spoke unadvisedly with my lips.
A gentle voice upbraided me, adding, that I had far better kneel down insubmission to God, and say "Thy will be done!" This, however, was not soeasy, for the demon of rebellion had seized me, and kept me for threehours in a tempest of anger, filling my mind with hard thoughts againstGod. I walked about the room in the most perturbed state of mind, somuch so, that I grieved my friends, who came repeatedly to ask me tokneel down and say, "Thy will be done!" "Kneel downjust kneel down!"At length I did so, and while some one was praying, my tears began toflow, and I said the words, "Thy will be done!" Immediately the spellwas broken and I was enabled to say from my heart, again and again, "Thywill be done!" After this I was conscious of a marvellous change inmind; rebellion was gone, and resignation had come in its place. Morethan that, the dear face in the coffin seemed to lie smiling in peace,so calm and so lovely, that I felt I would not recall the spirit thatwas fled, even if it bad been possible. There was wrought in mesomething more than submission, even a lifting-up of my will to the willof God; and withal, such a love towards Him that I wondered at myself.God had been, as it were, a stranger to me before. Now I felt as thoughI knew and loved Him, and could kiss His hand, though my tears flowedfreely.
