THE TEACHINGS OF DON JUAN
Chapter 4
Don Juan seldom spoke openly about Mescalito. Every time I questioned him on the subject he refused to talk; but he always said enough to create an impression of Mescalito- an impression that was always anthropomorphic. [* anthropomorphic- suggesting human characteristics for animals or inanimate things] Mescalito was a male, not only because of the mandatory grammatical rule that gives the word a masculine gender, but also because of his constant qualities of being a protector and a teacher. Don Juan reaffirmed these characteristics in various forms every time we talked.
Sunday, 1961 December 24
"The devil's weed has never protected anyone. She serves only to give power. Mescalito, on the other hand, is gentle, like a baby."
"But you said Mescalito is terrifying at times."
"Of course he is terrifying, but once you get to know him, he is gentle and kind."
"How does he show his kindness?"
"He is a protector and a teacher."
"How does he protect?"
"You can keep him with you at all times and he will see that nothing bad happens to you."
"How can you keep him with you at all times?"
"In a little bag, fastened under your arm or around your neck with a string."
"Do you have him with you?"
"No, because I have an ally. But other people do."
"What does he teach?"
"He teaches you to live properly."
"How does he teach?"
"He shows things and tells what is what [enzena las cosas y te dice loque son]."
"How?"
"You will have to see for yourself."
Tuesday, 1962 January 30
"What do you see when Mescalito takes you with him, don Juan?"
"Such things are not for ordinary conversation. I can't tell you that."
"Would something bad happen to you if you told?"
"Mescalito is a protector; a kind, gentle protector; but that does not mean you can make fun of him. Because he is a kind protector, he can also be horror itself with those he does not like."
"I do not intend to make fun of him. I just want to know what he makes other people do or see. I described to you all that Mescalito made me see, don Juan."
"With you it is different, perhaps because you don't know his ways. You have to be taught his ways as a child is taught how to walk."
"How long do I still have to be taught?"
"Until he himself begins to make sense to you."
"And then?"
"Then you will understand by yourself. You won't have to tell me anything any more."
"Can you just tell me where Mescalito takes you?"
"I can't talk about it."
"All I want to know is if there is another world to which he takes people."
"There is."
"Is it heaven?" (The Spanish word for heaven is cielo, but that also means "sky".)
"He takes you through the sky [cielo]."
"I mean, is it heaven [cielo] where God is?"
"You are being stupid now. I don't know where God is."
"Is Mescalito God- the only God? Or is he one of the gods?"
"He is just a protector and a teacher. He is a power."
"Is he a power within ourselves?"
"No. Mescalito has nothing to do with ourselves. He is outside us."
"Then everyone who takes Mescalito must see him in the same form."
"No, not at all. He is not the same for everybody"
Thursday, 1962 April 12
"Why don't you tell me more about Mescalito, don Juan?"
"There is nothing to tell."
"There must be thousands of things I should know before I encounter him again."
"No. Perhaps for you there is nothing you have to know. As I have already told you, he is not the same for everyone."
"I know, but still I'd like to know how others feel about him."
"The opinion of those who care to talk about him is not worth much. You will see. You will probably talk about him up to a certain point, and from then on you will never discuss him."
"Can you tell me about your own first experiences?"
"What for?"
"Then I'll know how to behave with Mescalito"
"You already know more than I do. You actually played with him. Someday you will see how kind the protector was with you. That first time I am sure he told you many, many things, but you were deaf and blind."
Saturday, 1962 April 14
"Does Mescalito take any form when he shows himself?"
"Yes, any form."
"Then, which are the most common forms you know?"
"There are no common forms."
"Do you mean, don Juan, that he appears in any form, even to men who know him well?"
"No. He appears in any form to those who know him only a little, but to those who know him well, he is always constant."
"How is he constant?"
"He appears to them sometimes as a man, like us, or as a light."
"Does Mescalito ever change his permanent form with those who know him well?"
"Not to my knowledge."
Friday, 1962 July 6
Don Juan and I started on a trip late in the afternoon of Saturday June 23. He said we were going to look for honguitos (mushrooms) in the state of Chihuahua. He said it was going to be a long, hard trip. He was right. We arrived in a little mining town in northern Chihuahua at 10:00 p.m. on Wednesday June 27. We walked from the place I had parked the car at the outskirts of town, to the house of his friends; a Tarahumara Indian and his wife. We slept there.
The next morning the man woke us up around five. He brought us gruel and beans. He sat and talked to don Juan while we ate, but he said nothing concerning our trip.
After breakfast the man put water into my canteen, and two sweet-rolls into my knapsack. Don Juan handed me the canteen, fixed the knapsack with a cord over his shoulders, thanked the man for his courtesies, and turning to me said, "It is time to go."
We walked on the dirt road for about a mile. From there we cut through the fields and in two hours we were at the foot of the hills south of town. We climbed the gentle slopes in a southwesterly direction. When we reached the steeper inclines, don Juan changed directions and we followed a high valley to the east. Despite his advanced age, don Juan kept up a pace so incredibly fast that by midday I was completely exhausted. We sat down and he opened the bread sack.
"You can eat all of it, if you want," he said.
"How about you?"
"I am not hungry, and we won't need this food later on."
I was very tired and hungry and took him up on his offer. I felt this was a good time to talk about the purpose of our trip, and quite casually I asked, "Do you think we are going to stay here for a long time?"
"We are here to gather some Mescalito. We will stay until tomorrow."
"Where is Mescalito?"
"All around us."
Cacti of many species were growing in profusion all through the area, but I could not distinguish peyote among them.
We started to hike again and by three o'clock we came to a long, narrow valley with steep side hills. I felt strangely excited at the idea of finding peyote which I had never seen in its natural environment.
We entered the valley and must have walked about four hundred feet when suddenly I spotted three unmistakable peyote plants. They were in a cluster a few inches above the ground in front of me to the left of the path. They looked like round, pulpy, green roses. I ran towards them, pointing them out to don Juan.
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