Margaret Runyan Castaneda - A Magical Journey with Carlos Castaneda

Don't w rite in stone or w rit e in wood ,

t hat I was honest or t hat I w as good ,

But w rite in s m oke on a passing breeze

S even wo r ds and t h e wo rds are t hese :

Filling m ore than a volu m e could,

He lived, he l a ughed a nd he understood.

Don Blanding , M y Epithet

Introduction

C a rlos looked at m e w ith those big bro w n eyes that looked like ebony a lm o n ds. He w as in an i m pish moo d. H e w hispered, "Oh , m issa Runyan, I w i l l start a revolution that w i ll last beyond our lifeti m e and you ar e a part o f it!"

He laughed. It sounded a lm ost inhu m a n , like the ca w ing of a cro w . "Carlos, you are crazy!" I said. Then he picked me up and slung me over his shoulder. I hit him w ith m y purse. W e fell do w n laughing. I w as hooked by this di m inutive m an w ho w ould beco m e m y husband.

One of Carlos's good fri e nds during his early da ys in Los Ang ele s was L ydette Mad u ro, a chubby , dark- ey ed Costa Rican w ho lived i n L os Angeles w ith her m other. He called her Nanecca and saw her frequently prior to the end of 1955. It wa s Lyd e tt e w ho brought Carlos to my apa r t m e n t i n Dece m ber 1955. M rs. Angela M aduro, her m other, had m ade two cocktai l dresses for the Ch ri st m as holiday sea son for me . Carlos acco m panied L ydette on the errand. H e sat silently in the corner w hil e I tried the dresses on to see that they fit just right. Th e dresses w ere beautiful. O ne w as blu e peau-de-soie w ith a dropped w aist l ine and Chanti ll y lace fitt e d top with rhinestone straps. The skirt w a s puffed at the b o tt o m like pantaloons and quite short. Th e other dress w as a m andarin silk brocade w ith Chin e s e motifs on it. They fit perfect ly. As C a rlos and Lyd e tt e w ere leavi n g, she stepped outside the door a nd w ith Carlos beside her she said "Oh M argarita, this is my friend, Carlos fro m South A m erica." He s m iled a t me - said nothing and they turned and w alked a w a y .

I closed the door, stood there ov e rw hel m ed by the look he had given me. M y head pound e d w hi l e my m ind w as thinking o v er the encounter. I couldn't get hi m out of my m ind; I felt t he look he ga v e m e w as a sure sign he w ould call soon. Ho w ever , he didn't.

Short l y after that , I w ent to the M aduros to pick up the dresses. T hey w ere ready for a final fi tt ing. Before leaving m y apart m en t , I had an intuitive i m pulse or hunch that pro m pted m e to do so m ething unusual. I w rote my name , a ddress and t elephone nu m b e r in a book by Neville Goddard, T h e Search. I planned to give it to Carlos if the occasion arose.

M y arrival a t L y de tt e's ho u se unexpected caught her off guard. Carlos was there ( wh ich proved m y hunch was right). The cocktail dress w as lying on the bed. Carlos and Lydette we re talking and didn't notice I w as there 'till I cleared m y t hroa t and s a id, ''Hello, Lyde tt e." She turned towards m e startled, while Carlos just s m iled. She said , "Carlos , m other needs yo ur help in the kitchen. "

As he left th e roo m , Lyde tt e s m iled and said sweetly, "Next t im e, call before y ou co m e."

I kne w she was hop e lessl y in love with t he m an she told m e w as only a friend of the fa m ily. She needn't wo rry though. I wo uld never fall in love again. I t was the on l y thing I w as ce rtain about. Still I felt nervous. I w anted to ru n.

Of course I couldn't run. I had co m e to try the dresses on and take them w ith me. I had parties to attend. Then she said the y w ere not quite ready."I'll co m e back," I said , "w hen would be a good tim e?" " M other wi ll call you ," L y dette said. Then wi th a change of mood she became f riendly and talked about ou r t i mes in the past, things we did w ith Carlos and her b r other that I dated w ho had been killed in a revolution in Costa Rica. I had spent many happ y times w ith their family.

As Lyde tt e sho w ed m e to the door, she said , "You really like Carlos , don't you?"

" W e l l, he seem s nice," I said.

"'I wa rn you , be w are of hi m , he has po w er . .. "

"'That litt l e man? Lydette, he only co m es to m y shoulder."

"Not physi c al pow er,'' she whispered. "He can ch a r m yo u r soul, he is a c u r an dero."

"'A what ?"

"Sham an, a magician."

I looked at Lydette in disbelief. Carlos looked more like an Indian w i t h a y o u t hfu l fa ce, than a wizard. "I'm sure he's a magician," I said to hu m or her, because I didn' t belie v e a w ord she said.

"I a m right, " she said. "I kno w w hat I believe is true and you will find out too, if you're not car e f ul ."

Believing she was t rying to sc are m e aw ay f ro m the m an she co n sidered her property, I said, "Don't wo rry, Lydette, I ' m not very at t racted to Carlos."

I w anted it to be true , but so m ething was happening to m e, I don't kno w w hat but I sensed this was not m y last meeting w ith Carlos.

"I t hi n k you are lying , Miss Ru n yan ," ' Lyde t te's e y es said, then she w a l ked me to the door in silence.

W e stood t h e r e a mom ent, Lyde tt e on t he threshold, and I on the step. Suddenly, Carlos appeared beside L y de tt e smiling broadly his teeth looked like pearls. "Goodb y e, Miss a R u n y an ," he said, stepping forward, extending his hand. It was then I s lipped hi m the book fro m m y purse, Neville's, Th e S e a rch . Inside I had written m y telephone num ber and address. He tucked it under his arm out of Lyd e tte's vie w and returne d to the house. Ly d ette w aved goodbye. I walk e d along the side w alk to the bus stop, and sat do wn beside an old la dy wi th a shopping cart full of bottles. She asked for a quar te r. My hand was shaking a s I looked in m y purs e . Some thing had happened to m e at Lyde tt e's house. W hat, I did not kno w but it was exciting.

As the bus ru m bled up Vine Street and onto Wilshire Boulevard, I looked out a t the ci t y lights and s a w Carlos's face re fl ected in each o f the m .

He had m y nu m ber. I w ill not tr y to call him , I told m yself.

But i t was to no avail. Deep do w n I kne w we w ould m e e t again. So I visualized his face and whispered a silent m essage: c a l l m e. T hen t he long w ait began...