Phil Boissiere - Thriving with Adult ADHD: Skills to Strengthen Executive Functioning

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Interior Designer: William Mack

Editor: Camille Hayes

Production Editor: Erum Khan

ISBN: Print 978-1-64152-272-4 | eBook 978-1-64152-273-1

To my mashaz amio

So many stars would have remained just out of my reach, if not for your belief in me.

Contents

Your Brain on ADHD

If youre reading this book, its likely that you, or someone close to you, is dealing with adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and some of the many symptoms and complications it can cause. Adult ADHD can result in everything from impulsive decision-making to chronic lateness to irritability, and it takes a toll on the people who live with it. This book is designed to not only help you mitigate the impact your ADHD symptoms have on your life but also build the mental skills you need to actually overcome those symptoms over the long term.

Life is complicated, and we, as humans, have evolved many complex cognitive abilities that help us get through our everyday lives. From when were babies, we learn to observe people and events in a variety of situations and respond in the most appropriate and effective manner. This includes simple verbal or behavioral responses to others requests or statements, as well as more complex behaviors like planning, completing tasks, setting goals, and managing our emotions. In order to effectively navigate the myriad complexities we encounter, our brains develop whats called executive functions or core skills. These are some of the last cognitive functions to developnot fully coming into their own until were in our 20sand theyre key to smooth functioning in adult life. These important skills are the core of what adults with ADHD struggle with in their daily lives.

Im a therapist who has been working with adults with ADHD for a decade. Those of us in the clinical and scientific communities are not 100 percent clear on the exact underlying causes of ADHD, but we do know with certainty that the prefrontal cortex (the front of the brain) is a major player. This part of the brain is where the ever-important executive functions (core mental skills) are housed. Think of it as the big corner office where the CEO makes all the important decisions.

This book will help you develop the skills you need to strengthen your mental CEO with a series of powerful exercises, tools, and proven strategies for bolstering your memory, organizational skills, and even your stress management. Whether you will use the skills to get to meetings on time, plan and complete projects, navigate intense emotions, or develop new ways of thinking about yourself and the people and events around you, having a good grasp of them will getand keepyou on track and moving toward the kind of life you want.

Workouts for Your Mental Skills

Picture for a moment that CEO in the big corner office. How did she get there? Was it through endless procrastination, distraction, and emotional overwhelm? Not likely. She probably got there because her prefrontal cortexthe command center of the brainis dialed in and making things happen. The cluster of skills related to executive functioningthings like memorizing, organizing, and planningare, no doubt, central to her success. To get your skills into CEO-level shape, youll need to do some workouts to build your strength. Think of these strategies as your new cognitive workout routine.

Advanced executive functioning skills are much more than learning how to make a to-do list or organize your calendar. The skills everyone needs in order to excel in work and life must allow us to navigate all aspects of any situation, no matter how complex. Lets take a look at a real-life example to illustrate where and how these skills come into play. Imagine this: Your phone rings, and its an important client demanding your attention. They are complaining about something big, and they require clear and concise responses from you. After the call, you must put together a plan to meet your clients needs, and you will also have to stick to that plan and get it done. Because your client is upset, there wont be time to surf the web, dabble in online shopping, or disappear into the abyss of social mediayou have to get the job done ASAP. This isnt an uncommon scenario in the lives of most professionals; but if you have adult ADHD, you might be getting nervous just reading this example, because you already see the pitfalls it contains for you, including planning, maintaining focus, and thinking clearly under pressure. The symptoms of ADHD present a real barrier to developing and using precisely those types of skills.

Lets take a closer look at exactly what the relevant skills are in the unhappy client scenario. In a situation like this, you will probably feel a whole range of emotions, such as anger, embarrassment, defensiveness, or fear. To effectively handle the situation, you need to control those emotions so you can respond in a calm, polite, and nondefensive way. You also need to keep your emotions under control in order to think clearlyafter all, a stressed-out mind is a scattered mind. And you need to respond to the client in a clear way that is not impulsive. Shouting, saying yes to a big demand without thinking, or breaking down in tears is not the best response. Finally, you need to execute your plan in a timely manner and leave the client feeling that his needs have been addressed.