Mike Staver - Leadership Isnt For Cowards: How to Drive Performance by Challenging People and Confronting Problems

Contents

Copyright 2012 by Mike Staver. All rights reserved.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

Published simultaneously in Canada.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the web at www.copyright.com . Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions .

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

For general information on our other products and services or for technical support, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762-2974, outside the United States at (317) 572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002.

Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com . For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com .

ISBN 978-1-118-17683-2 (cloth); ISBN 978-1-118-22713-8 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-24023-6 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-26484-3 (ebk)

Acknowledgments

Years ago I wrote the keynote Leadership Isnt for Cowards. Thousands of people have heard it in various versions. To all of you, thank you for unknowingly helping me create this book. Your participation in those keynotes helped me form my thoughts and solidify what I believe it means to live and lead with courage.

My deepest thanks to my coaching clients who prove every day that leading courageously really is the best way to lead. In particular I am thankful to the members of StaverConnect. Your leadership and willingness to share openly and honestly with each other is an outstanding example of courageous leadership.

To the team at The Staver Group, Bobbie Stanton, Mary Anne Rybak, Sondra Ulin, and Maxx McInerney, thank you for keeping our customers happy, things running smoothly, and me sane. I am grateful for your unique and important contributions to the lives of the leaders we serve.

Deborah Schindlar, Peter Knox, Tiffany Colon, and everyone at John Wiley & Sons, thank you for all you have done to make this project successful. You have each been supportive and smart, and that is a great combination! A special thanks to Dan Ambrosio, editor at Wiley, from our initial conversation right through the entire project you have had a perfect blend of enthusiasm and guidance. Thank you for this opportunity.

Amy Claire, not only are you an amazing artist of the English language but you are also the perfect blend of insight, critique, and support. Your understanding of my style and voice combined with your editorial skill gave me great peace of mind and confidence! Thank you. I am forever grateful to Michael for introducing us.

Finally to all of my friends and family who have encouraged, and believed in me and this work! I noticed and I appreciate you very much!

Section 1

YOU ARE MESSING WITH PEOPLES LIVES

This section lays the foundation for all that follows in the rest of the book. You will be challenged to understand the depth and breadth of leadership and to see how doing so can transform the way you lead. You will receive a clearer understanding of organizational culture and realize the true extent of your own impact. The journey begins here.

For your sake, lets hope you answered that question with a resounding sometimes. I hope you are like the rest of us, having to stop on some days and wonder what you were thinking when you said yes to leadership. The fact is, most leaders have times in their lives when they find themselves asking, Do I know what Im doing? Its a normal and expected part of being in a role where you influence people.

You first have to know and accept one major thing that you are doing as a leader...

You are messing with peoples lives!

(Im not sure how much more clearly I can say that.)

The day you said yes to someone, somewhere up in your organization, and decided to join the ranks of leaders, you decided (with complete false confidence) that you had the willingness and ability to tell other people what to do.

Or maybe you didnt. Maybe you were recruitedplaced in a leadership class and given three points and a poem on how to lead before you were tossed the keys and wished good luck.

Maybe you entered into a management training program with wide-eyed enthusiasm and a commitment to change the world.

Maybe you decided that you would take a stab at starting your own business. Spreading your entrepreneurial wings, you jumped into the world of business ownership with all of its thrills and risks.

Whatever the case, your decision to say yes to leadership was driven by somethinga need to help others, to make more money, to save the world, to boost your self-esteem, to make a difference, or some other reason. Regardless of your reason, your choice resulted in one simple fact: You began messing with peoples lives . You may not have realized it or wanted it, but thats what happened.

Unfortunately, most leaders do not start with that knowledge. They dont start with a clear and compelling understanding of the real challenges facing them. Their understanding is diluted with operational plans, goal setting, revenue and sales forecasts, cash flow, HR compliance, and the magical bottom line. While all of those are important, theyre not the most important. How you influence others is the most important.

It takes courage to accept the challenge of influencing another person. Do not underestimate that challenge. In most cases, the people who report directly to you will spend more time with you than with their families. You will occupy their thoughts (positively or negatively) more than most other people, and you will be the subject of stories around the bar or the dinner table more times than you can imagine. When they go to lunch they will talk about you. When you lead meetings they will evaluate you. You are on their minds, whether you want to be or not. Leadership is not a job for cowards!