Linda Barbosa - How Can I Smile at a Time Like This?: Awakening to the precious Dharma teachings hidden within our everyday problems

How Can I Smile

at a Time Like This?

All those who suffer in this world

do so because of their desire

for their own happiness.

All those happy in the world

are so because of their desire

for the happiness of others.

Shantideva

Two years ago, I volunteered to answer requests for advice through the magic of the Internet. To date I have had the honor of answering nearly 700 letters on a myriad of topics. Prior to this wonderful mentoring experience, I had begun studying Buddhism and fell in love with the beautiful simplicity and profound truths I discovered in the Dharma (the Buddhas teachings on the path to liberation and enlightenment). When introduced to the concept of Bodhichitta (the altruistic desire to become enlightened in order to best benefit others), my pulse quickened. As these two amazing passions began to converge, I knew that something wonderful had arisen in my mind. Is it possible to know the exact moment ones heart begins to swell to twice its size? Of one thing I was certain: I had found my path.

As I continued to respond to letter-writers from around the world, I began to notice certain recurring and underlying themes, many of which felt uncomfortably familiar. Why is it we obsess over something we want, worry about keeping what we have, or long to get it back once its gone? Why do we insist that someone love us, even if he or she clearly does not? Why do we go through life burdened by guilt, clinging to the past or worried about the future? We waste so much time feeling jealous, insecure, angry, and depressed. And at our lowest moments, we sometimes feel that if life is a gift, wed just as soon return it.

These recurring themes, so often cleverly hidden within our modern-day problems, strongly resonate with the ancient and precious Dharma teachings of 2,500 years ago. I believe those teachings are still quite viable and relevant, and once applied, can present unique opportunities for instruction. Many problems originate in, or are exacerbated by ones own mind. Internal dialogue often creates more angst and suffering than the original problem. The ego likes to stir things up, imagining itself to be the star of the show. And attachment to another person, object, idea, or outcome creates a whole host of problems, often trapping one in a prison of his own impossible obsessions.

The concept of karma frequently explains the actions of one or more players in a letter-writers narrative, while interdependence brings those actions to a particular point of convergence, sometimes resulting in heartbreaking tragedy. The concepts of emptiness and impermanence play a part in explaining how we view things through our own filters and how we sometimes place great importance on things that are, in reality, only passing phenomena. Its only through the manifestation of love and compassion that we begin to understand our own human potential and recognize the connection between ourselves and others.

Its very natural to want to avoid all suffering, but the attempt is futile. Disappointment, like joy, is a part of life. By recognizing and allowing our difficulties when they come, we have the opportunity to discover the hidden gems which can become our greatest teachers. Encouraging this balanced and open attitude towards all that occurs, allows us to not only endure the bad with the good but to embrace it with wisdom, humility, and gratitude.

Although some suffering is inherently present in the human condition, there is a way to free ourselves from needless suffering. Most of us, believing our relief to be external to ourselves, frequently get lost in the maze. Like a mouse searching for his cheesy reward, we sometimes waste years frantically trying to get what we want, never realizing that the true reward is the freedom from the wanting.

The letters in this book are entirely fictional. They are composites of topics I have addressed over the years. Any similarity to real persons or situations is entirely coincidental.

This humble book attempts to frame a common-sense approach to problem-solving within the fundamental concepts of Buddhism. It does not presume nor attempt to be a text on Dharma teachings.