Bobbie Thomas - The Power of Style: Everything You Need to Know Before You Get Dressed Tomorrow

TO ANYONE ELSE WHOS EVER FELT LESS THAN...

too short, too tall, too big, too small, too young, too old, too weak, too bold, too odd, too plain, too shy, or too vainyou are good enough, lovable, and worthy of powerful style

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Back in the late 90s, years before I joined the Black Eyed Peas, I was living in L.A. and working hard to help my all-girl group Wild Orchid break out into pop stardom. Just a few weeks after breaking up with my boyfriend of five years, my bestie, Eileen, introduced me to her sister Bobbie Thomas, whod also just ended a five-year relationship. Even though our work lives couldnt be more differentBobbie was counseling at a rape-crisis center; I was singing in a pop groupwe ended up bonding over our breakups and helping each other work through the pain. Pretty soon we were spending most of our time together, sometimes just hanging out at each others apartments or going out to dinner, and sometimesthat is, at least four nights a weekheading out to clubs like the Viper Room, Opium Den, Garden of Eden, Concord, the Lounge, Josephs, Pop at AD, Firehouse, and Above Dublins (to name just a few).

Bobbie turned out to be the best wingman a girl could ask for. We even had a secret code wed use out in the clubs so that boys wouldnt know what we were talking about. One of my favorite things she told me about meeting men was to play it like a butterfly: instead of finding one guy youre into and hanging on to him all night, you should flutter around the room, land on one boy for a little while, then fly away again and see what else is out there. And if a guy was worth it, hed end up chasing after you.

Back then Bobbie and I were both struggling to make a living doing what we loved. We didnt have a lot of extra cash to spend on clothes, so we had to get super creative when it came to style. Wed study fashion magazines and try to emulate the aspects of high fashion that really spoke to us, but always with our own quirky twist that had nothing to do with following trends. We were forever finding ways to reinvent and repurpose things to reflect whatever we were feeling at the time, like deconstructing a belt to turn it into a hair accessory, or cutting up tights and fishnets to wear as sheer sleeves.

But no matter what we had on when we headed out for the night, the key thing was to truly own what we worenot just literally, but on a deeper, more powerful level that had everything to do with what made us unique as women. So while my look was more hip-hop and rocker and Bobbies was about keeping it sexy in a sophisticated, up-scale sort of way, in the end we complemented each other because we were both so true to our own personal style.

Self-expression was also at the heart of Bobbies advice. One thing she always stressed to our girl gang was that staying true to yourself was the one and only way to find who (and what) is right for you. I learned from Bobbie that if you go out and take on some other persona to try to impress a guy, youre ultimately going to attract someone who isnt after the real you. By honoring your own uniqueness, you invite into your life not only the ideal manbut the best opportunities for you in general. Youre also able to celebrate and embrace whats amazing about the women around you, rather than letting competition and jealousy get the best of you.

Empowerment was another message of Bobbies that had a major impact on me then and still means so much to me today. Because of her experience as a rape-crisis counselor, she taught me everything about setting boundaries and watching out for myself and for my girlfriends. And even though we were all about going out and having fun night after night, Bobbie was also a very steadying influence for memy therapist before I had an actual therapist. Shed studied psychology and had an incredible amount of knowledge about self-value and self-worth, and I soaked it all up like a sponge. I had self-help books and I had Bobbie, and I cant imagine having gotten through that time, and to where I am now, without her at my side.

The next best thing to having Bobbie as your own personal style guru, supporter, and partner-in-crime is having this book on your nightstand. The Power of Style builds on all that savvy and insight she passed on to me years ago in a way thats inspiring, empowering, and nothing short of life-changing.

You know the Bobbie T. you see on TODAY sexy, stylish, and smartbut we know the Bobbie T. behind the scenes and she is so much more.

Bobbie has a true heart for helping women find the strength and courage they need to succeed in a stressful, complicated world. She believes she can help them and so do we, because weve watched her do it. What Bobbie seems to understand innately is the psychology of stylehow your personal style affects you and how it affects all the people that you want to, in turn, affect.

Sound complicated? Not when you read what Bobbie has to say in her book. She makes it easy and understandable and she doesnt judge you if you dont happen to look like an ber-model. What Bobbie helps you realize is that each woman is a fierce force of nature in feminine form with her own unique contribution to make in this world.

Youre beautiful! Youre valuable! Youre one of a kind!

And, okay, you probably need a little help discovering all that.

So let her help you find your own special, sensational style.

Did you get dressed this morning? Yes, of course you did, because in our society you cant live your life naked. And even if you could, I think most of us would opt for clothing. After showering or brushing your teeth, dressing is probably the first thing you do every day. But have you ever stopped to consider that its also the most important? This one act affects everything else that follows, yet the duty of putting something on is often left to the last few minutes before you have to run out the door.

Style is the way we speak to the world without words. Our style is a layer of language we wear and the first thing people notice about us. Its how we initially attract others, from potential mates to employers to friends. Family, coworkers, companions, and, most important, acquaintances and strangers are constantly listening to how we present ourselves, because our style is such an echo of who we are. I believe everyone has a style speak that is uniquely their own. Though we might not always realize it, we buy and wear clothes that physically represent and communicate our insights, frustrations, fears, goals, and desires. We then carry these signifiers into a workplace, a party, or on a date. Everyone gets dressed and most often with a purposewhether they are conscious of it or not. We can miss out on some amazing opportunities if we forget or ignore the fact that appearances matter and if we overlook how others interpret them.

Style is the way we speak to the world without words.