Stewart D. Friedman - Leading the Life You Want: Skills for Integrating Work and Life
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Leading the Life You Want: Skills for Integrating Work and Life: summary, description and annotation
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For nearly thirty years, my lifes work has been to help people like you find ways to bring the often warring aspects of life into greater harmony. Stew Friedman, from Leading the Life You Want
Youre busy trying to lead a full life. But does it really feel fullor are you stretched too thin? Enter Stew Friedman, Wharton professor, adviser to leaders across the globe, and passionate advocate of replacing the misguided metaphor of work/life balance with something more realistic and sustainable. If youre seeking balance youll never achieve it, argues Friedman. The idea that work competes with life ignores the more nuanced reality of our humanitythe interaction of four domains: work, home, community, and the private self. The goal is to create harmony among them instead of thinking only in terms of trade-offs. It can be done.
Building on his national bestseller, Total Leadership, and on decades of research, teaching, and practice as both consultant and senior executive, Friedman identifies the critical skills for integrating work and the rest of life. He illustrates them through compelling original stories of these remarkable people:
former Bain & Company CEO and Bridgespan co-founder Tom Tierney
Facebook COO and bestselling author Sheryl Sandberg
nonprofit leader and US Navy SEAL Eric Greitens
US First Lady Michelle Obama
soccer champion-turned-broadcaster Julie Foudy
renowned artist Bruce Springsteen
Each of these admirable (though surely imperfect) people exemplifies a set of skillsfor being real, being whole, and being innovativethat produce a sense of purpose, coherence, and optimism.
Based on interviews and research, their stories paint a vivid picture of how six very different leaders use these skills to act with authenticity, integrity, and creativityand they prove that significant public success is accomplished not at the expense of the rest of life, but as the result of meaningful engagement in all its parts. With dozens of practical exercises for strengthening these skills, curated from the latest research in organizational psychology and related fields, this book will inspire you, inform you, and instruct you on how to take realistic steps now toward leading the life you truly want.
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We often hear about work/life balance, but Stew Friedman takes it two steps further. He breaks life into four parts: work, home, community, and the private realm of mind, body, and spirit. Leading the Life You Want illustrates through compelling biographies the skills you need to act with authenticity, integrity, and creativityhelping you lead a life that truly blends meaning and happiness.
Melinda Gates, Co-chair, Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation
Leading the Life You Want delivers a much-needed surge of inspiration. He crafts detailed, motivating profiles of high performers whove learned how to be real, be whole, and be innovative. Anyone who has struggled to find harmony between work, family, community, and inner spirit will benefit from this book.
Tom Gardner, CEO, The Motley Fool
Stew Friedman shows how to harness your passions to pursue four-way winsin your work, home, community, and most importantly, for yourself.
Billie Jean King, sports icon and social justice pioneer
Stew Friedman makes the idea of finding harmony between work and life not only possible, but practicable. Leading the Life You Want is a brainy yet conversational guide that offers inspired, effective solutions.
Neil Blumenthal, Co-founder and Co-CEO, Warby Parker
In this absolutely wonderful book, Stew Friedman tells us how to put an end to the zero-sum mentality that keeps us from leading the life we want. Read it, and you will be inspired to live and work like never before.
Herminia Ibarra, Professor, INSEAD; author, Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader
The speed of change and the 24/7 connected world were experiencing have made Stew Friedmans book a particularly important read. Incessantly increasing options, opportunities, and obligations have made becoming conscious of what matters most to us something that should matter most to us. This is a great manifesto for getting it done. Bravo!
David Allen, author of the international bestseller, Getting Things Done
Stew Friedman understands that pitting our passions and responsibilities against each other is a losing battle. Instead, as he powerfully illustrates in this great new book, he teaches a masterful strategy to integrate self, career, family, and communityan approach that has allowed me to grow as a CEO, mother, and community activist.
Julie Smolyansky, President and CEO, Lifeway Foods
Great stuff! Teddy Roosevelt famously said, The best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. In this engaging, instructive, and insatiably useful book, Stew Friedman shows all of us how to win big at work that matters, without losing ourselves in the process.
William C. Taylor, Co-founder and founding editor, Fast Company
I love this book! Friedmans inspiring and refreshing Leading the Life You Want, through its personal and interesting stories, is a compelling case for why business leaders should embrace all aspects of life and how they can do so. This is exactly what talent in todays market is looking for.
Laura E. Kohler, Senior Vice President, Human Resources, Kohler Co.
By linking the personal and professional success of six very different and highly successful individuals, Stew Friedman has given us new insight into the mechanics of living a productive and satisfying life of service. Well done!
Dick Couch, Captain, USNR (Retired); author, Always Faithful, Always Forward and Act of Revenge
In this fascinating and timely book, Professor Friedman draws on insights from the inspiring stories of six people to provide a deep analysis of the skills needed to lead the life you want and what it takes to develop these skills. This is a must-read for anyone seeking to create that elusive goal of modern livesthe purposeful integration of work and life.
Lynda Gratton, Professor of Management Practice, London Business School
Stew Friedman stands out as one of the few male voices in the field. He understands better than anyone else how leadership, life, and business can fit together.
Anne-Marie Slaughter, President and CEO, New America Foundation
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Copyright 2014 Harvard Business School Publishing Corporation
All rights reserved
Printed in the United States of America
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No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior permission of the publisher. Requests for permission should be directed to , or mailed to Permissions, Harvard Business School Publishing, 60 Harvard Way, Boston, Massachusetts 02163.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Friedman, Stewart D.
Leading the life you want : skills for integrating work and life / Stewart D. Friedman.
pages cm
ISBN 978-1-4221-8941-2 (hardback)
1. Work-life balance. 2. Work and family. I. Title.
HD4904.25.F7537 2014
650.1dc23
2014013112
The paper used in this publication meets the requirements of the American National Standard for Permanence of Paper for Publications and Documents in Libraries and Archives Z39.48-1992.
To my students and my teachers,
especially Joel DeLuca, Richard Hackman, Bob Kahn, and Noel Tichy
Part I |
Part II |
Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you. You must travel it by yourself. It is not far. It is within reach.
WALT WHITMAN
This land was made for you and me.
WOODY GUTHRIE
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
VIKTOR FRANKL
Out of control. Thats how Sam, a divorced father of two girls and an ambitious professional, described his life. By day he managed an IT group for a health care conglomerate while dreaming of starting his own company. I feel like I can never get it all done, Sam continued. Im constantly distracted. I wish I could be under less stress and pay more attention to my daughters, especially as theyre getting into their teen years, and to my mom, whos just been diagnosed with early-stage cancer.
Sam looked down at his desk and shifted in his chair; he was in his home office. I could see only a part of it on the computer screen (we were videoconferencing). His sense of being overwhelmed extended to his professional life. Im struggling to find the right partners who can help me develop and market an app Ive designed that can make it easier for people to track their personal health habits, he said, leaning forward. I really believe that this thing can make a difference in peoples lives.
Its a full life, but at that moment Sam felt not so much full as stretched thin. He continued, When Im at work Im worrying about Sophie and Erin, and when I have them on the weekends Im online taking care of loose ends at work or trying to connect with leads for funding my start-up. I just dont have enough time for it all. Yet I have this gnawing sense that I should be doing more with my life.
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