Hayley DiMarco - Over It. Getting Up and Moving On after Bad Stuff Happens

2011 by Hungry Planet

Published by Revell

a division of Baker Publishing Group

P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287

www.revellbooks.com

E-book edition created 2011

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

ISBN 978-1-4412-3260-1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from Gods Word . 1995 by Gods Word to the Nations. Used by permission of Baker Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations labeled ESV are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. All rights reserved. ESV Text Edition: 2007

Scripture quotations labeled NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2010 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Scripture quotations labeled NLT are from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Published in association with Yates & Yates, LLP, Literary Agents, Orange, California.

CONTENTS

Our yesterdays present irreparable things to us; it is true that we have lost opportunities which will never return, but God can TRANSFORM this destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future. Let the past sleep, but let it sleep on the bosom of Christ. Leave the Irreparable Past in His hands, and step out into the Irresistible Future with Him.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

Why Get Over It?

T he past. Do those two words sound good or horrible to you? Your past might be something you miss, or it might haunt you. It might be a distant memory or a recurring nightmare. But whatever happened yesterday, the day before, or the year before, the past is part of your story. Its the path your life has taken to get you to where you are today and to make you who you are now. But no matter who you are, you probably have a few things in your past that you wish werent there. Or you might have a ton. Whatever the case, the most important thing you need to know about your past mistakes, heartaches, pains, abuse, suffering, and misery is how to get over it.

Over It is our attempt to help you do that. We know that the things that have happened to you have impacted you. We know that they have made you who you are and that sometimes you dont like that fact and you want a change. We also know that the past can remain the present if you dont let go of it and get over it today (or maybe next week). And we know that guilt, resentment, bitterness, self-hatred, and fear can become a part of your normal, everyday life if you have a past that you havent gotten over.

The average person has a lot of things that need getting overthings like guilt and pain from heartache, abuse, failure, weakness, bad memories, and loss. A sense that you cant forgive whoever or whatever it was that hurt you, even if it was yourself, can haunt you every day of your life that you fail to get over the past and to get on with today. And depending on what happened, the past can be more present than the present. Research has revealed that the cycle of grief can take significantly more time to get through when the loss is great. It takes you longer to get over the breakup of a relationship of two years than a relationship of two weeks, right? Well, not always. Weve seen people who went out on one date with a person suffer from heartache for months after never hearing from them again. So no matter what the world says your degree of suffering should be, we know that it can be much worse depending on your level of grief and your way of thinking about the bad things that have happened to you.

Take heart, because in this world you will have trouble, and your trouble is no worse than all the trouble everyone else in this world is having, and it is nothing that you cant handle. Thats biblical, so we know its true. (Wanna check? Read John 16:33.) In this world you are gonna have trouble, and thats why we wrote Over It because there is no one on earth who doesnt have something they need to get over. At the fall of man we were all given an equal portion of original sin . That means were all capable of the same messed-up things, so welcome to the club. There arent any of us without any problems whatsoever; there just arent. So if you are human and you are breathing, then guess what? Youre in for it.

Whats Your Problem?

Is there anything in your life you cant stop thinking about? Anything anyone has said or done, any mistake you have made, any unkind word, any abuse, any backstabbing or frontstabbing? Is there anything causing you to feel embarrassment, shame, bitterness, anger, fear, worry, depression, or guilt? Then you have something you need to get over. You might hear something insignificant about your hair or your clothes and spend the rest of the day stewing over it, dissecting it, and wondering what in the world that person meant. Or you might find out someone told someone else something about you that was totally falsenot a huge deal, but a total lieand you might spend the next week unable to get over thinking about it. If there is something, anything, no matter how big or how small, that draws you into sin by making you doubt, fear, worry, or do anything else that God commands you not to do, then its time to get over it.

Getting over it is not only good for you; its right for you. Thats because anything that you cant get over becomes an idol. Look at it like this: one definition of idolatry is an immoderate attachment or devotion to something. But I dont have an idol! you protest. Certainly not, not one made out of gold or wood or anything. But you do have an obsessionsomething you cant get over, something you think about all the time, something that controls you and makes you sick, tired, stressed, worried, and fearful. And have you ever considered what an obsession is? Check out Websters definition of the word: a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling. Sound familiar?

Just for kicks, lets take a look at those two definitions side by side. Sure, why not? It might help.

idolatry: an immoderate attachment or devotion to something

obsession: a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling

In other words, in both cases you have an immoderate or persistent attachment or preoccupation with something other than God. Do you need to get over that? If you say you believe in God and his promises according to his words written in the Bible, then yes, you need to get over it! In fact, we could say, based on this knowledge, that whatever you cant get over is bringing you down spiritually. Its sapping your strength and getting you off track. Its keeping you from the promises of God. Its keeping you down, slowing you down, and messing you up. You know it, you feel it, and you want it gone. So its no wonder youve picked up this book.