Matthew Sink - A Map for the Middle

A MAP FOR THE MIDDLE

2013 by Matthew Sink

All rights reserved

Printed in the United States of America

Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause.

ISBN: 978-1-62020-238-8

eISBN: 978-1-62020-337-8

All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version . NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Cover design and typesetting: Matthew Mulder

E-book conversion: Anna Riebe

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

DEAR READER,

AS YOU CONTINUE TO GROW older, I guess you probably think we parents make a bigger deal out of things than necessary. Try for a moment, however, to see life through our eyes. We were there the day you were born. Were the ones who cut the cord and took youa squirming, red-faced babyand held you tightly.

You were tinymore fragile than we imagined. We vowed to do whatever was required to protect you as you grew. Were your parents. Thats our job.

For more than a decade, we have taken our job seriously. When you were learning to walk, we stood behind you and tried to keep you from getting hurt if you fell.

The first time you slid down the sliding board at the park, we were waiting at the bottom to catch you. When you insisted on swimming in deeper water, we walked behind you, prepared to grab you if you got in trouble.

This has been the theme throughout the years: you reach to try something new, and we parents try hard to keep you safe as you explore. I guess thats the natural relationship between parents and young children.

This dynamic wont change, now, as you enter middle school. Were still behind you, and we still want to protect you. The truth is, however, as hard as this is for me to accept, you have a bigger part to play in how things happen over these next seven years.

The decisions you make in middle and high school are critical ones in setting the direction of your life. Some decisions youll make when were not looking. We cant follow you around anymore to make sure you stay balanced.

Increasingly, over these years, well point the way. Yet, youll have to choose your direction. Dont let this realization scare you. Youll love these upcoming years and the freedom which accompanies them.

Just remember what Uncle Ben said in Spiderman: With great power comes great responsibility.

As you become older and have more power to make your decisions, you have the responsibility to make good ones. Thats the purpose of this book, to offer some advice about how to navigate these next few years in your life.

The chapters in this book consist of two different voices. One is my mine. Ive been where you are. I vividly remember what its like to be your age. Because of this, I recognize certain paths serve you well to avoid while others should be embraced. I hope my experiencespositive and negativehelp you see the difference.

Theres another voice within these pagesa voice greater than mine. Its Gods voice, revealed through scripture. Just like your parents, God wants whats best for us which is why He gave us rules and principles to follow. Everything in His Word is written to protect and provide for us. If we follow Him, Hell bless our paths.

I hope you enjoy this book. As you read, please write down your questions and observations, and find a trustworthy adult with whom you can discuss them. With the guidance of wisdom and discernment, your next seven years will be even better than your first twelve.

CHAPTER

POPULARITY

WHEN I WAS IN SIXTH grade, I developed my very first crush on a girl: Sherry. I suppose I should clarify Sherry was the first girl I had a crush on whom I actually knew. I had a small thing for Julie on The Love Boat, but my admiration was pretty short-lived. Sherry was the first girl I ever really liked who actually looked at me and talked to me... and when she did, my heart turned flips!

My love for Sherry lasted throughout my sixth grade year, but even though I had reason to believe she liked me also, nothing ever came of it. Why? I was absolutely terrified to tell her how I felt. We sometimes walked together or passed a silly note, but that was it. I was too chicken to say anything about my feelings.

Theres another reason why my sixth grade love went unfulfilled. As the year went on, Sherry began to change. She was a very pretty girl, at least I thought so, but she seemed to get prettier every month. By the end of the year, she turned the head of every middle school boy in the school!

You might think the situation was a good thing for Sherry... and for me as her admirer. The truth is, as she blossomed, things changed between us. Sherry rose in the social ranks of Tyro Junior High School rather quickly and became the most popular girl in our grade. I was just average, old Matthew known by friends, but mostly ignored by the popular crowd.

Alas, adolescent love cant flourish under such conditions. In fact, even friendships between different social groups can be strained. By the time we were in the eighth grade, Sherry and I hardly ever talked, anymore. By the time we were in high school, we barely even acknowledged one another.

IS POPULARITY A WORTHWHILE GOAL?

At this point, you might be tempted to feel sorry for me. After all, I obviously wasnt popular in school. Looking back, though, I actually feel sorrier for Sherry than for me. The pressure she faced to be pretty and funny enough, and, well, whatever enough to stay at the top of the social ladder was intense.

Ill tell a little more about her story later in this chapter. For now just know the pressure took its toll on her. It changed her life in a negative way. Many of you can probably relate because Sherrys tragic story isnt unique.

For kids in middle school, popularity seems like an important goal. Fueled by television shows, movies, books, and magazines, millions of teens feel pressured to dress the right way and talk the right way, and do the right things to make the right people approve. Most kids firmly believe without the approval of the in crowd theyre nobody, so they willingly sacrifice anything necessary to win such approval.

Its a shame so many kids swallow this lie... and it is a lie. Sure, on the surface it feels great to win the approval of the crowd, but at what cost? The price tag for popularity is steep. It often requires more than anyone expects.