Phyllis L. Fagell - Middle School Matters: The 10 Key Skills Kids Need to Thrive in Middle School and Beyond—and How Parents Can Help

No one captures the magic, delight, struggle, and triumphs to be found in middle school like Phyllis Fagell. She knows middle school inside and out, and her advice is some of the best available for students, parents, and teachers.

J ESSICA L AHEY , author of The Gift of Failure

I love, love Middle School Matters! Phyllis Fagell has done a stupendous job! Middle School Matters gives parents of middle school boys and girls an essential guide to walk alongside their children as they go through middle school. The book is filled with just the right combination of research and common sense strategies that only a middle school counselor in the trenches could deliver. With this book, parents dont need to dread the middle school years. Instead they can be prepared and informed so they can do best by their kids. I wish I had had this book when my boys were in middle school!

R OSALIND W ISEMAN, author of Queen Bees and Wannabes and founder of Cultures of Dignity

Middle school parents: help is finally here! This is the book parents have been waiting for since forever. Parents have long been socialized to fear the middle school years as a time of great turmoil and never-ending drama, but Phyllis Fagell opens our eyes to the modern middle school student by sharing a powerful combination of current research, anecdotes from actual middle schoolers, and her own expertise as a middle school counselor. Middle School Matters is packed with helpful tips and actionable strategies to help your middle school student thrive instead of simply survive.

K ATIE H URLEY, LCSW, author of No More Mean Girls and The Happy Kid Handbook

Middle school does matter! And, parents matter during these years as much as you ever have, maybe more. As young people strive to answer, Who am I? they need you to stand solidly in their corner reminding them that they are perfect just as they are. Phyllis Fagell has created a masterpiece herean actionable guide filled with the skill sets youll need to support your child through these critical life-shaping years.

K EN G INSBURG, MD, MS Ed, author of Raising Kids to Thrive and Building Resilience in Children and Teens, Parentandteen.com

Middle School Matters is a must-read for parents, educators and anyone else seeking guidance through the transitions of this critical developmental period, with all its psychological, physical, social and academic challenges. Fagell writes clearly and concisely, offering practical suggestions and engaging anecdotes to illustrate her points. The conversation starters are excellent!

M ARY K. A LVORD, PhD, psychologist and coauthor Conquer Negative Thinking for Teens, and Resilience Builder Program for Children and Adolescence.

As a lifelong educator and the parent of two teens and a tween, I cannot recommend this book enough! I just wish Middle School Matters had been written when I was a superintendent and led a middle school transformation effort, as the ideas, advice, and practical guidance are invaluable. Phyllis Fagell has done us all a great service by breaking down the middle school years into easily understood concepts that parents and educators can use to work with early adolescents in any setting. Phyllis presents simple strategies and approaches to help studentsand adultsnavigate an amazingly complex and exciting time in their lives. I highly encourage teachers, principals, parents, policy makers, and anyone interested in using the middle school years to lay the foundation for success in the teenage years and beyond to read and apply the lessons of this book now!

J OSHUA P. S TARR, EdD, Chief Executive Officer, PDK International

Parents of middle schoolers, rejoice! In Phyllis Fagell you get a triple threat: a veteran counselor whos seen it all, a wise parent, and an excellent writer who knows her research and has talked with every expert you dont have the time to read. This book is your middle school wingman, a clear, smart read you can pick up whenever you need it, to guide you through whatever curveball your child decides to throw your way.

R ACHEL S IMMONS, author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is

This book is an indispensable tool for anyone who parents or works with middle schoolers. Its extremely well-researched, smart, readable and empathetic. The chapters on healthy sexuality, preparing for love and helping boys connect with others give these critical, often-overlooked, topics the lip service theyand young adolescentsdesperately need.

A NDREW R EINER, educator, writer, and masculinity researcher

This brilliant book will make you rethink everything you imagined about the middle school years Phyllis Fagells love for this tween/teen breed abounds as she convinces us that emotions and drama may be high, but the growth and change happening is actually wildly exciting. We need to see it as an opportunity, and enjoy it a bit. These kids arent a messthey are open, sponges. Sure they fail, but they are learning resilience. The best part of this book is, instead of simply identifying and analyzing whats happening, Fagell gives parents really practical, specific tips on everything from meltdowns to bullying to social media. The hardest part of being a parent is we need a script! We can read book after book and understand whats going on in those mushrooming teen brains, to some extent, but when faced with a kid writhing on the floor about a perceived slight, we need some actual language in the moment. Fagell hands the script over, and its laced with humor and wisdom. She makes getting through these years seem not only possible, but full of some joy as well!

C LAIRE S HIPMAN, journalist and author of Confidence Code and Confidence Code for Girls

I GIVE PRESENTATIONS TO THOUSANDS OF PARENTS AROUND THE world, and their biggest concerns always revolve around middle schooleverything from shifting friendships to character development to learning and preparing kids for an unknown, changing world. Parents may ask me how they can help their kids recover from social rejection or bullying, or how they can instill honesty, empathy, responsibility, and kindness. You may wonder: When is the best time to give my child a phone, let them use social media, or take public transportation alone? How much should I be helping them with homework, monitoring their online behavior, or communicating with their teachers? What are the signs that my child could have a learning or attentional challenge? And just how much stress, moodiness, and anxiety is normal for a middle schooler? You may have heard that focusing on grades and test scores wont create happy, successful, thriving kids, but its a confusing message. You might be thinking, Okay, but what am I supposed to be doing instead?