Gillette - Coming to jesus one mans sh for truth and life purpose

Copyright 2014 Britt Gillette

All rights reserved.

Published by Britt Gillette at Smashwords

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from theHoly Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 byTyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale HousePublishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rightsreserved.

Edgar Cayce Readings 1971, 1993-2007 by the EdgarCayce Foundation

All Rights Reserved

To my wife, Jen, devoted follower of Jesus Christ whohas fought by my side through all of life's peaks and valleys. Youare the love of my life, and you were instrumental in the creationof this book.

CHAPTER 1

"There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of everyperson, and it can never be filled by any created thing."

Blaise Pascal

IN THE SPRING of 1992, I found myself alone in ahospital bed late at night. Through a cracked door, a dim lightfiltered into the room along with the muffled voices of the nightshift staff. Wires from a nearby machine ran into my nose deep intomy stomach, and I felt an eerie sense of isolation.

Two years earlier, I contracted encephalitis a virus which causes swelling of the brain. I can't begin todescribe the struggle involved in dealing with such an illness andits aftermath. Recovery was slow, yet steady, and life eventuallyreturned to somewhat normal.

But it didn't return for long. Soonthereafter, I was struck with a mysterious gastrointestinaldisease. And after months and months of testing, I found myself inthe Children's Hospital for my latest procedure an invasiveesophageal pH test to measure acid reflux.

Needless to say, I couldn't sleep. It's notso easy to sleep with wires shoved up your nose. I just stared atthe ceiling and counted the tiles, immersed in an empty feeling ofloneliness which drained every last ounce of energy.

After months of testing, the doctors weren'tany closer to finding an answer, and I didn't know what to expectnext. While whatever I had didn't seem to be life threatening, itwas definitely life altering. And at age 14, I began to ponder myown mortality. A number of questions entered my mind.

What if I died tonight? Other than my familyand a few friends, would anyone care? Who would even know? Andfifty years from now, if my parents are gone, who other than mybrother and a handful of relatives will ever even know that Iexisted? A thousand years from now, will the world ever even know Ilived?

The initial answers which formed in my mindwere not very comforting, and a hollow realization took hold andwouldn't let go. While I didn't know it at the time, I haddiscovered the same God-shaped vacuum Pascal identified yearsbefore, only I didn't know what it was or how to fix it.

As a young child, I used to look in themirror and feel it. It was a brief, yet dreadful feeling. I wouldjust stare at myself and wonder, "Who am I? Why do I exist, andwhy am I me?" I couldn't stand to do it for more than a momentor two. While I was acutely aware that I was physically alive, Iwas spiritually dead and I didn't know why. While I lived lifeand enjoyed life, I was really just going through the motions. Iwasn't really living life. I wasn't conscious. Iwasn't really awake, and I didn't ever question life's purpose.

Now those same dreadful feelings from themirror returned as I lay in a strange bed in the late hours of thenight with more and more questions.

If no one will ever know I lived, thenwhat's the purpose? What's the point of life?

I'm sure you've pondered these same questionsyourself, and probably at a much earlier age (hey, I never claimedto be the brightest kid in the class!) But for me, these were newquestions, and I didn't like it one bit that I didn't have theanswers.

Maybe you're experiencing these same feelingsof emptiness right now, wandering through life with no purpose.Maybe you're overcome with feelings of anxiety and depression. Ifso, maybe my story can help you. Why? Because all those years ago,I woke up from life and made it my number one goal to find thetruth the truth about why I felt such intense feelings ofemptiness, and more importantly, what I could do to eliminatethem.

I set out to find answers to all of thosequestions. The same ones you've faced and pondered. Who am I?Why do I exist? Why am I me? What's the purpose of my life? Whathappens when I die? Is there a God? And if there is a God, who isHe? And does He care about me?

So what did I find? I found the answers every single one of them, and my life has neverbeen the same.

CHAPTER 2

"'What is truth?' Pilate asked."

John 18:38 (NLT)

GROWING UP MY parents didn't go to church. A fewtimes, I attended church with my grandmother, and at least once Iremember our family "trying out" a local church when one of ourneighbors invited us, but to my knowledge we only attended oneSunday service and never returned.

Spiritual matters were rarely discussed, andI wasn't sure what my parents believed in regard to God, eternity,and the afterlife. In hindsight, this provided me with an enormousadvantage. My search for truth began as a clean slate with nopredisposition toward any particular philosophy or religion. Ididn't have a predetermined allegiance or bias toward anyparticular religious doctrines or denominations. In fact, I hadnever given much thought to such things.

But now I did. I wanted answers. Not guesses,beliefs, or fairy tales. I wanted to know the true purpose of life,not just take up a hobby or set a goal. I wanted truth, and I wasready to explore every religion, philosophy, and library in orderto find it.

Why? Not only did I want to know what wasimportant in this world, but I also wanted to know what (ifanything) would come next. After all, I made a simple observationwhich somehow goes unnoticed by an enormous number of people.

What is this simple observation?

You're going to die.

That's right. Rich or poor. Old or young.Powerful king or pacifist monk. It doesn't matter who you are.Sooner or later, you're going to die.

And while you wouldn't know it by listeningto today's media, it doesn't matter if you eat right and exerciseevery day. Sure, it might extend your life a few years maybe. Butyou know what?

You're still going to die.

And it doesn't matter how much fame or poweror money you have. No matter how great you think you are or howmuch power you think you have

You're going to die.

So it seemed quite reasonable to expect thatone day I was going to die. The only thing I didn't know waswhen I was going die, not whether I would die.

Coming face to face with my own mortality, Icould clearly see that no matter our lot in life, we all share thesame destination. And given this certainty, it also seemed quitereasonable to prepare for my death and its immediate aftermath thesame as I would for any future event, such as saving for retirementor planning a future career.

But I had a problem. How could I prepare foran unknown future? While death is certain, what happens afterthat?

I didn't know. Did anyone?

And even if someone claimed to knowwhat happens after death, how do I prove them right or wrong?

I wanted answers, so I studied the Bible, theKoran, Confucius, Hinduism, Buddhism, and the writings of everyphilosopher and political and social leader I could get my handson. And while many of these sources offered elements of truth, Ifaced the same problem. How could I really know for sure which (ifany) of these sources offered the truth about reality.

The Bible, and more specifically, the wordsof Jesus seemed to make more sense than anything else I had read.Why? Jesus had a presence, even when reading about Him, whichseemed "apart" from the world, and even people I knew who didn'tbelieve in Jesus held in Him in reverence as a "great teacher."