Hunt - Debt-Proof Your Marriage: How to Manage Your Money Together

I magine how dull and boring our lives would be without harmony. Quilts would be pieced from the same fabric. The rainbow would be a series of seven red stripes. The a cappella group Take 6 would be reduced to Take 1, and you and your spouse would have exactly the same personality, temperament, and taste. Yawn. Harmony blends colors into the rainbow, creates the visual warmth of a quilt, combines the tones of the scale, and weaves the differences between a husband and wife into a satisfying and intimate relationship.

If you have money issues in your marriagebig troubles, small problems, or something in betweenthis book will help you bring harmony to that most challenging part of your marriage. However, I am not going to force you into a one-size-fits-all budget or even tell you how to spend your money.

What I will do is teach you everything I know about how to get out of debt. Im going to tell you how to step away from the edge of fear and panic, how to live beneath your means, and how to prepare for the future. Youve probably tried several times to manage your money and discovered it is not easy. You may have read books, purchased software, attended seminars, or enrolled in a program at your church or in your community. Your attempts may have worked in the beginning, but then, like you do after a failed diet, you went back to the old ways and experienced the equivalent of gaining back all the weight you lost, plus some.

Information alone cannot change your financial situation. Thats because in a marriage, money is not simply about money. If it were, you could pick up any basic financial information and have no trouble following it. Nonmoney decisions, like what color to paint the bedroom or when to mow the lawn, are what I characterize as surface matters. Easily resolved. But money issues? Whoa, baby! Thats a completely different story because matters of money are deeply emotional and affect us in ways we may not even be aware of. Money-related issues in a marriage are not surface matters.

Before you can develop financial harmony in your marriage, you and your spouse need a deep emotional connection. Length of marriage has absolutely nothing to do with whether you can connect at this level. The best word I know to describe this connection is intimacy , and Im not talking about sex.

The kind of intimacy that is a precondition for the development of financial harmony in your marriage has nothing to do with sex or physical attraction. It has everything to do with respect and trust. It is that safe place where the two of you are free to be who you are without pretending, without being ashamed, and without fear of rejection. Emotional intimacy is the secret ingredient you need to develop financial harmony in your marriage.

Have you ever wondered why two couples can face the same life-challenging situationunemployment, health problems, bankruptcy, or even the loss of a childand one couple comes through the ordeal stronger and more devoted than ever, while the other marriage crumbles under the strain? I believe it has to do with the intimacy I just described. Intimacy is the insurance for all the stages of marriage and the promise of safe passage through the storms of life. Without that deep connection between spouses, just about anything can set them up for discord and financial disaster.

If you are discouraged because youre sure your spouse is not interested in reading this book or even talking about its contents, dont worry. The only person necessary to begin to move your relationship toward a place of intimacy and financial harmony is you. You can begin to make a significant change in your marriage, and if necessary, you can do it single-handedly.