Money
and
Marriage
GODS WAY
HOWARD DAYTON
M OODY P UBLISHERS
CHICAGO
2009 by
H OWARD D AYTON
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org).
Scripture quotations marked MSG are from The Message, copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the King James Version.
Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189, U.S.A. All rights reserved.
The Crown Money Map and MoneyLife are trademarked terms.
Emphases added to Scripture have been placed by the author.
Editors: Larry Libby and Pam Pugh
Cover Design: Paetzold Associates
Cover Image:: iStockphoto
Interior Design: Smartt Guys design
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Dayton, Howard Lape, 1943
Money and marriage Gods way / Howard Dayton.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-0-8024-2258-3
1. MarriageReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. Finance, Personal
Religious aspectsChristianity. I. Title. II. Title: Money and marriage Gods way.
BV835.D395 2009
241.6808655dc22
2008044470
This book is printed on acid free recycled paper containing 30% PCW (Post Consumer Waste) and manufactured in the United States of America by Bethany Press.
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To Bev Dayton
My wife, best friend, life partner, and hero.
When we first married, you promised our lives together
would not be boringyou were so right!
You have changed me by your prayers and love.
Acknowledgments
Im especially grateful to Larry Libby for his wonderful skill in bringing the message of Money and Marriage Gods Way to life.
Ron Deal, Steve Gardner, Kevin Light, Bob Lepine, Steve Lyon, Don and Sally Meredith, Steve and Laura Petherbridge, Greg Pettys, Dr. Brad Pierce, Gary and Barb Rosberg, and Mitch Temple thank you for sharing your passion for healthy marriages and finances, and your God-given insight on how to achieve them.
Raymond and Marydel Harris, Bill and Christy Heavener, Jim and Sally Phillips, and Jim and Ann Tharp thank you for your remarkable friendship and hospitality.
Gray and Dixie Fraley Keller and JD Gibbs and the Joe Gibbs Racing team thank you for your vision and generosity in helping to make this a reality.
Chuck Bentley, Sharon Epps, Dave Rae, and Stan Reiffthank you for your commitment to lead Crown Financial Ministries in a way that pleases God.
Lord Jesus Christ thank You for creating marriage and for giving us the keys to enjoy successful ones.
Contents
PART 4: SNAGS: COMMON PROBLEMS AND COMPLICATIONS
Lets Start:
GETTING THE MOST FROM THIS BOOK
This book will transform your marriage and your finances.
Well, Howard, you say, thats a pretty big claim. How can you make such a statement?
Heres how.
As you begin to learn what the God of the universe has to say about having a great marriage and successfully handling moneyand then put those principles to work in your lifeyou will be transformed.
God is in the life-transforming business, and nobody but nobody does it better.
Money and Marriage is for engaged couples and for everyone who is marriedwhether newly married or empty nesters, whether you earn a lot or a little. It is designed to help couples experiencing a marital crisis or those who simply want to improve an already good marriage.
I urge you to read through the entire book to understand the big picture of what God wants you to know about marriage and money. Then, carefully reread the chapters addressing your particular situation.
Weve all had the experience of reading books, and then a few days later, we can barely remember what we just read.
Dont let this book be one of those books.
The twin subject matters heremoney and marriageare too important to take lightly. Were not just talking about dollars and cents here were not just talking about credit cards, budgets, and number-crunching; were talking about lives. Were talking about the precious lives of your wife or husband and your children and grandchildrenand perhaps of generations to come.
How you handle your marriage in the context of financesand how you handle your finances in the context of marriagewill go a long way toward determining whether or not you will have a life that is really worth living.
For that reason, I urge you to read this book, but more than that, to consume this book. Have you ever seen a book read by someone who really valued and appreciated the contents? Its usually a mess! Its pages are underlined, highlighted, creased, and dog-eared. It has writing in the marginsand maybe even ketchup or coffee stains on the cover.
I hope this one looks like that someday. I pray you not only read it, but personalize it. Underline it. Write notes in it. Make it yours. The books that have helped me the most are the ones that I interacted with, not just quickly read.
If this book ends up back on your bookshelf with clean and perfect pages and a cover still bearing the original bookstore gloss, I will not have accomplished my desire.
Study this book with your spouse, or better yet, become part of a small group to encourage one another to apply what you are learning.
Money and Marriage Gods Way includes these features to assist you as you make progress in your marriage and in your financial life:
1. React: Lets talk about it. The book is divided into six sections, and at the end of each youll find questions to talk about. Meet with your spouse or a group to answer the questions, discuss what you read, and bounce ideas off each other. This will help you. No, let me restate thatthis will help you