Mary Hunt - How to Debt-Proof Your Marriage

2003 by Mary Hunt

Published by Revell

a division of Baker Publishing Group

P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287

www.revellbooks.com

Spire edition published 2008

Ebook edition created 2012

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

ISBN 978-1-58558-772-8

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture is taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Scripture marked KJV is taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture marked NLT is taken from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture marked NCV is taken from the New Century Version. Copyright 1987, 1988, 1991 by Word Publishing, a division of Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture marked TLB is taken from The Living Bible , copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Cheapskate Monthly, Debt-Proof Living, Rapid Debt-Repayment Plan, Rapid Debt-Repayment Plan Calculator, and Tiptionary are registered trademarks owned by Mary Hunt.

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For Harold, the love of my life and

companion through all the stages of marriage

Introduction

Imagine how dull and boring our lives would be without harmony. Quilts would be pieced from the same fabric. The rainbow would be a series of seven red stripes. The a cappella group Take 6 would be reduced to Take 1, and you and your spouse would have exactly the same personality, temperament, and taste. Yawn. Harmony blends colors into the rainbow, creates the visual warmth of a quilt, combines the tones of the scale, and weaves the differences between a husband and wife into a satisfying and intimate relationship.

If you have money issues in your marriagebig troubles, small problems, or something in betweenI am going to help you bring harmony to that most challenging part of your marriage. I am not going to force you into a one-size-fits-all budget or even tell you how to spend your money.

I am going to teach you everything I know about how to get out of debt. Im going to tell you how to step away from the edge of fear and panic, how to live beneath your means, and how to prepare for the future. Youve probably tried several times to manage your money and discovered it is not easy. You may have read books, purchased software, attended seminars, or enrolled in a program at your church or in your community. Your attempts may have worked in the beginning, but then, like a failed diet, you go back to the old ways and experience the equivalent of gaining back all of the weight you lost, plus some.

Information alone cannot change your financial situation. Thats because money in a marriage is not simply about money. If it were, you could pick up any basic financial information and have no trouble following it. Nonmoney decisions like what color to paint the bedroom or when to mow the lawn are what I characterize as surface matters. Easily resolved. But money issues? Whoa, baby! Thats a completely different story because matters of money are deeply emotional and affect us in ways we may not even be aware of. Money-related issues in a marriage are not surface matters.

As a precondition to developing financial harmony in your marriage, you and your spouse must have a deep emotional connection. Length of marriage has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you have ever connected at this level. The best word I know to describe this connection is intimacy, and Im not talking about sex. Really.

The kind of intimacy that is a precondition to the development of financial harmony in your marriage has nothing to do with sex or physical attraction. It has everything to do with respect and trust. It is that safe place where the two of you are free to be who you are without pretending, without being ashamed, and without fear of rejection. Emotional intimacy is the secret ingredient you need to develop financial harmony in your marriage.

Have you ever wondered why two couples can face the same life-challenging situationunemployment, health problems, bankruptcy, or even the loss of a childand one couple comes through the ordeal stronger and more devoted than ever, while the other marriage crumbles under the strain? I believe it has to do with the intimacy I have just described. Intimacy is the insurance for all the stages of marriage and the promise of safe passage through the storms of life. Without that deep connection between spouses, just about anything can set them up for discord and financial disaster.

If you are discouraged because youre sure your spouse is not interested in reading this book or even talking about its contents, dont worry. The only person necessary to begin to move your relationship toward a place of intimacy and financial harmony is you. You can affect the beginning of significant change in your marriage, and if necessary you can do that single-handedly.

I dont know everything, but I do know a lot about how to manage personal income, how to get out of debt (and stay out), and how to get rid of your financial fear and anxiety. Learning to manage money well in your marriage is worth the effort. Not only will that help your relationship to grow and mature, its a proven fact that a healthy marriage contributes to financial success in life.

I am not a certified financial planner or licensed marriage therapist. I have a degree, but you would not be impressed. What I offer you comes from experience and real lifemy real life. I know the fear of being swept out to sea on the waves of financial turmoil. Worry overtakes your mind. Its hard to fall asleep; it hurts to wake up. Every aspect of your marriage falls under the shadow of impending doom. Ive known all of thatand I know the way out.

If youre ready to get serious, Im ready to take the guesswork out of personal money management for you. Even though weve never met, youll be surprised by how well I know you and the issues with which youve been struggling.

Youve prayed for help to turn around your personal finances, and here you are, several paragraphs into the answers youve been looking for. No matter your current situation or how badly you may be feeling about your finances right now, take heart, my friend. Help is on the way.

Keep praying, stop worryingand start reading.

Part 1

Get Your

Relationship Ready

for Financial Harmony

This Is My Story,

and Im Sticking to It

A Story of Financial Discord

It was a typical hot summer day in California. I needed to get away to think things through. In desperation I grabbed the car keys and took off, no particular destination in mind. I wandered around for a while, hoping the pain would go away, but it didnt. I ended up at my in-laws home, relieved to discover no one home. I didnt feel much like talking.