Gene Simmons - SEX MONEY KISS

GENE
SIMMONS

Family Jewels

SEX MONEY
KISS

To my mother, Flora,
who gave me life itself.

Who Am I?

W ho am I, and why am I writing this book?

Lets face it, just because I stick out my tongue a lot and spit fire doesnt mean I have any qualifications to advise anyone on relationship, money or career issues.

I dont.

Ive never been married. Yet Ive been living with a gorgeous woman Im crazy about for twenty years with never a cross word between us, in a relationship based on honesty and full disclosure. I never went to business schoolI have a pedestrian understanding of commodities and futures, at best. Yet expert financial people work for me! I never had a grand master plan for my career; I graduated from college with a B.A. in education, fully prepared to work as a teacher. And yet for three decades Ive been in KISS: a band that has broken every possible recordfrom album sales to merchandising and licensing to touring.

What I do have and have always had, thanks in full to my mother, is an abiding faith in me. Call it a life philosophy: a philosophy about relationships, money (mine!) and happiness (mine again).

It works for me. It can work for you!

Id like to start this book with a personal salute to the modern woman.

Ever since our shared primordial past, men and women have been living very defined roles. The man hunted, killed and brought home the bacon. The woman stayed at home and was totally dependent on the man. In return for a cave (home) and food, she would earn her keep by repaying her partner with sex.

He never looked to her to be his hunting partner. She couldnt run as fast as he could. She also didnt have the hand-eye coordination to accurately throw a spear. Not to mention the fact that even if she could run as fast as a man and throw that spear accurately, she simply did not possess the necessary physical strength, since she was substantially smaller and weaker than he was, to make much of a dent in a Mastodon.

Everything has changed. Or so we think. Modern technology, on the surface, leveled the playing field. The Information Age no longer demands large muscles to succeed in survival. There are certainly women out there who can out-perform and out-earn their male counterparts. And to them, I tip my hat.

These women refuse to bow down to certain biological urges. They have a menstrual cycle every month, their hips are wider (hence the phrase shes a broad-as in broad hips) and their breasts are much larger. This doesnt take into account certain psychological concerns like the biological clockwhich is to say, they worry daily that they will be fertile only so long. They must find a mate. The modern woman has, she thinks, overcome the biological burdens of being a woman and can go toe to toe with man, unencumbered by the worries and concerns of her female ancestors.

I contend that sooner or later even the modern woman will give in to her biological urges and want to have her own mate. She will demand that he cease all activities with any other females while he has a breath left in his body (till death do us part). And if they separate (get divorced) most of the women out there will expect him to pay her (often) half of his gross pre-tax dollars (its the law of the land in many states). Finally, she will complain until he drops dead that he refuses to lift the toilet seat when he pees.

Again, I salute her. She is a testament that women can go out there and earn their own money (or, in the patois of our prehistoric past, kill their own meat).

Please note, I am going to be painting with wide strokes in this book. When I say men it includes most men (actually, privately, I will tell you it includes almost all men without exception) and when I say women I mean to say most of these women in the United States (you know, the masses who watch soap operas, Dr. Phil and Oprah I watch Dr. Phil as well, by the way) and certainly on the entire planet. Women does not necessarily include the modern womanbut I contend if you wait long enough, IT WILL!

Women make one or two eggs at a time and can conceive only through their middle years. Men, on the other hand, dont have menstrual cycles. Men dont have a biological clock (we never even think about it). Men ejaculate billions of sperm at a time. None of the sperm is lined up in a straight line pointed only at the woman whos in bed with him at the time. And the healthy, straight sexual male will be able to ejaculate billions more within a few minutes to an hour. He will continue to be able to make billions of sperm until he drops dead. And women keep wondering why men cant be monogamous. Please dont send me hate mail; take that point up with the grand designer: Mother Nature.

Heres a thought: If man was predisposed to being monogamous (biologically), his sexual activity would have been limited to the cave he lived in, without spreading his seed in every other cave he rested in as he hunted the migrating herds. Now, dont lose me here. So in the days before civilization, before language and culture, we lived in clans. A few people huddled in a cave. Isnt it true that if man was predisposed to being monogamous that within a generation or two humankind would have been cross-eyed and retarded? Isnt inbreeding unhealthy? Arent purebred Dalmatian dogs dumb as a rock? Arent mutts smart? If nature has given man billions of sperm every time he gets excited, doesnt that mean he is designed to have sex with as many females as possible before he drops dead? Im not saying he should or should not, only pointing out, isnt that what nature intended?

Its no wonder women have been torturing men since the days we crawled out of our caves. Just kidding.

And maybe you can take a hint from that last comment whatever I say, about anything, is meant only as food for thought. You (men and women alike) decide everything for yourselves. Youmendo you want to have sex with as many women as possible (preferably at the same time)? And youwomendo you want a man who will stay committed to you emotionally, sexually and in all other ways to become your soul partner to the exclusion of all other women? (Can you guess the answer?)

Women are from Mars. Men have penis.

Keep reading.

This book is written in simple terms. You should find it easy to digest, clear in its intent and brutally honest. Its going to distill and demystify some of the institutions that Western society is built on. It is not a self-help book, a relationship book or a book of philosophy, theology or morality. Its not even a business book, per se. My philosophy isnt taught in business schools. This book doesnt use business language, which is designed for business school graduates. This is plain speak to understand plain notions. Its intent is to make sure on the day that you die, and certainly while youre living, you can have a lot more money in your pocket and maybe even be happier.