Glen Wright - Academia Obscura: The Hidden Silly Side of Higher Education

Whats in a name?

Authors

Co-authoring: Because writing is hard

Abstracts

Footnotes

A picture paints a thousand words

Oops

Money for nothing

The rebellion

Recommended journals

Dodgy open access

Peer review

Interview: The semi-professional ranter

Retractions

Interview: The garbage collector of science

The hoaxes with the mostest

Interview: Male, mad and muddle-headed academics in kids books

A passage regarding succinctness and the exigencies of proactively counteracting sesquipedalianism in academic composition

*An unreasonably long footnote

Writing is diffic

Tripe

Tropes

Mind your language

Some Examples of Wistful Acronyms in Scientific Papers (SEXWASP)

Academic Translator

Fail everyone

Pass everyone

Par for the course

Read the syllabus

Making the grade

Rate My Professors

Let the Games Begin

Erds

K-Index

Alternate Science Metrics

Self-citation

In a JIF

Nein

Shit Academics Say

Interview: the academic Twitter superhero

The dark side of academic Twitter

#Hashtags

Overheard on Twitter

Shoddy conferences

Kimposium

Conference etiquette

Bingo!

Cats

Playing fowl

(Homosexual necrophiliac) Ducks

Rats

Penguins

TABLE OF FIGURES

TABLE OF TABLES

TABLE OF INSTITUTIONALISED SEXISM

Assuming scientists are male

Your mother in a leopard-skin G-string

Hello Dolly

Coconut woman

There were apparently no famous women in the 1600s

Please include a male co-author

Discrimination is childs play

It sucks to be female on the internet

Rate My Professorss fashion sense

The Bechdel Test

Female faculty

Papers should be like a womans skirt

All male panels

Play it SAFE

Glen Wright is an academic. Sort of. Actually, he started his PhD in 2012 and is yet to finish. In the meantime, he started Academia Obscura, a blog about the lighter side of academic life. Born in the Black Country, Glen now lives in Paris, where he works for a non-governmental organisation trying to save the ocean. Neither is as glamorous as it sounds. Glen finds writing about himself in the third person extremely uncomfortable, but is equally uncomfortable breaking with accepted convention in his first book.

To my late PhD

With special thanks to

Mice Chancellor Palimpsest Parnassus

Dear Reader,

The book you are holding came about in a rather different way to most others. It was funded directly by readers through a new website: Unbound. Unbound is the creation of three writers. We started the company because we believed there had to be a better deal for both writers and readers. On the Unbound website, authors share the ideas for the books they want to write directly with readers. If enough of you support the book by pledging for it in advance, we produce a beautifully bound special subscribers edition and distribute a regular edition and ebook wherever books are sold, in shops and online.

This new way of publishing is actually a very old idea (Samuel Johnson funded his dictionary this way). Were just using the internet to build each writer a network of patrons. At the back of this book, youll find the names of all the people who made it happen.

Publishing in this way means readers are no longer just passive consumers of the books they buy, and authors are free to write the books they really want. They get a much fairer return too half the profits their books generate, rather than a tiny percentage of the cover price.

If youre not yet a subscriber, we hope that youll want to join our publishing revolution and have your name listed in one of our books in the future. To get you started, here is a 5 discount on your first pledge. Just visit unbound.com , make your pledge and type academia5 in the promo code box when you check out.

Thank you for your support,

Dan, Justin and John

Founders, Unbound

I would like to thank the wonderful people who provided love, support, inspiration, and proofreading. Without them, Id probably never have started writing this book, much less finish it.

Bart Wasiak, for the bet that led to this book, the support and encouragement during its development, and for going above and beyond with a last-minute edit.

Emily Gong for giving me unfettered access to her apparently bottomless well of love and support, and for putting up with far more of my nonsense than most.

Jill Cooper, the biggest individual donor to the crowdfunding effort. Thanks Mom!

Haydn Griffith-Jones for being a great friend, even if he never did get around to reading my drafts (see page 100, mate).

Johannes Krebs, fellow PhDiva and the best writing buddy one could ask for.

Julien Rochette, a fantastic boss and mentor. Merci chef pour mavoir appris comment faire mousser, jouer du pipeau, et danser la gigoulette.

Harriet Harden-Davies, whose fascinating science history lessons, boundless enthusiasm, and love of the ocean and strong dark beer, have unwittingly plunged her into my inner circle.

The following people have talked me down from various stages of deadline-induced panic and impostor syndrome, and done a whole heap of proofing and editing:

Josh Bernoff ( withoutbullshit.com ), author of the excellent Writing Without Bullshit , who helped clean up my rambling and made me realise how much passive voice was being used.

Katrin Boniface, for the grammar pointers.

Stevyn Colgan, for reassurance, support, and last-minute proofreading.

Gemma Derrick, for her insights on impact.

Amy Eckert, for her positivity and encouragement.

Charlotte Fleming ( ireadyourwriting.co.uk ), for her helpful and amusing editorial comments.

Nathan Hall, for his academic humour and for the crowdfunding boost.

Jason McDermott for the amazing RedPen BlackPen comics illustrating the book.

Grainne Kirwan, for giving me my first opportunity to give a silly lecture at a real university.

Ivan Oransky, for the support and the great work at Retraction Watch.

Raul Pacheco-Vega, for his invaluable contribution to the academic community, and for taking the time to send me some kind words at the perfect moment.

Jens Persson, Pontus Bckman, and all at the Skne branch of the Swedish Skeptics Society, for pledging to have me to speak at their monthly meeting.

Julia Pierce and the team at Scrivener ( literatureandlatte.com ), for their incredibly generous contribution to the crowdfunding effort, and for developing the excellent software that I used to organise my scatterbrain into a book.

Kat Peake, for her keen eye, writing companionship, and dislike of overenthusiastic italicisation.

Graham Steel, for the encouragement and good humour.

Convention obliges me to self-effacingly declare that any errors or omissions are my own. They are not. If you spot any, please alert me immediately so I can work out who is to blame.