Rebecca Lawson - The Good Wife’s Guide to Taking Charge: A Female-Led-Relationship Primer

If you are reading this, your husband has probably expressed his desire to have you take charge. He wants a dominant wife. Or, perhaps you suspect he wants that, but you do not know where to begin. Rest assured, youre not alone! Hes not alone, either. Many men are hesitant to admit the fantasy. For whatever reason, we are often scared to talk with those we love the most about such things. So, if he confided his desires to you, it took a lot of courage. He was no doubt nervous! It may be scary for you, too. You may want to make his dreams come true, but you have no clue how to go about it. That is why this book is here. I am here to help you navigate the strict wife waters in a practical, realistic, and fun manner.

The Terms

Lets begin by defining our terms. As noted in the Introduction (and as you continue reading), this whole conversation is not just about kinky sex. Your husband may be into that, and would like to explore submission in the bedroom. My first book on the subject, Dominatrix 101 , is more in line with that. This book is about something else entirely. So, if your husband is only wanting the sexual aspect, you may find much of this book boring and irrelevant. But if your husband is wanting a dominant wife, then the information may pertain to you.

So, with all that in mind

Your husband wants to practice domestic discipline (DD). Domestic discipline is the practice of one partner disciplining the other when needed. More than that, it is also the setting of certain parameters, rules, and expectations. When the submissive partner fails to meet these expectations, or misbehaves, the dominant partner may correct them as they see fit. If is about loving guidance, loving encouragement and nurturing, and loving correction.

Many couples practice domestic discipline. If you search the Internet or read many of the readily available books on Kindle, youll see that the practice is actually picking up steam. While certainly not the majority, couples involved in DD relationships are not few and far between. Many times the practice is tied to the couples religious or spiritual beliefs (a sort of back-to-basics, old school worldview). Often times the DD relationship features a male leader with the wife taking the submissive role. The leader in such a relationship is called the head-of-household , or HOH. When the wife takes on the mantle of HOH, it is frequently referred to as a female led relationship (FLR). While not the majority when it comes to such marriages, female-led-relationships are a vital part of the DD community.

In the next chapter we will look at why some men want such a relationship, as well as the benefits and potential downfall. But for now, in case you are tempted to stop reading as you are frightened, allow me to clear up some misconceptions about FLRs and DD. Dont give up on me now! Keep reading.

What the Wife-Led-Marriage is Not

First of all, lets talk about what this desire and lifestyle are not. You may have a mental image that frightens you. Dont worry: much of what you may have read online or in works of fiction is not what you have to do. In fact, you dont have to do anything. This is about you being in control. If you find the popular image of a dominatrix, or strict woman, off-putting, dont worry. Its not like that.

It is not about being a dominatrix. Your husband is not asking you to become a black leather clad vixen who drips hot candle wax all over him while hes hogtied (unless he is, in which case youre reading the wrong book). The strict wife fantasy is very different from the dominatrix fantasy. We will discuss this more at length as we progress. But dont panic. You do not need to completely change who you are.

Its not about completely changing your life. You dont have to always be in character. If you choose to implement this aspect of your marriage, it does not have to be a 24/7 lifestyle. Nothing has to radically change. Your lifestyle will remain the same. Youll still be equal partners who talk, laugh, go on dates, make decisions jointly, and enjoy each others company. Dominant wives and their husbands still go out, still have romantic weekend getaways, still hang out with friends, still spend time with family, and are still awesome parents to their children. Dont worry that all of that will go away. Sometimes you will wear the dominant hat, and sometimes you wont. Like anything, there is a time and place for it.