Tessa Bailey - Find Her

TESSA BAILEY

Copyright 2019 Tessa Bailey

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H ope Wilder pressed a hand to her stomach in an attempt to still the butterflies.

Tonight was the night. After a full year of saving her waitressing tips, shed purchased tickets to see Citizen. It was a huge extravagance. The money could have gone towards more practical things, like rent on the apartment she shared with her brother. Or food. But living on ramen and tap water would be worth it when she heard that first guitar lick. Besides, she was well used to going without, wasnt she? What was another twelve months of stale noodles compared to seeing Citizen up close?

They werent even inside the arena yet and electrical currents were already racing up and down her arms, so intense she couldnt stand still.

Easy, Hope, her older brother, Wyatt, rumbled, humor evident in his voice. If you keep bouncing around like that, youll exhaust yourself by the time the show starts.

Im sorry. I cant help it! Hope covered her mouth with both hands when the girls standing in front of them in line turned around at her outburst. Weve been listening to Citizen since weve been living on our own, she continued, much quieter. Remember the day the state finally approved you as my guardian? You were playing their album when I climbed into your truck. The songsI dont know, they just hold good memories for me. Hearing them live is going to bring everything full circle. She extended her fingers up toward the night sky and wiggled them around. I can feel it.

Wyatt patted Hope on the shoulder with his big paw, before shoving it back in his pocket and going back to observing the milling crowd with his typical quiet suspicion. Her brother always humored her when she spouted off with what he called her hippie speak. Wyatt was a realist while Hope had always been the dreamer of their two-person family. Even when shed been a ward of the state and having dreams seemed pointless, shed never been able to contain her whimsical fantasies of fate, happy endings, magic moments. Magic within people.

Everyone was capable of making magic, they just needed to believe hard enough, right? When shed been living in the shiny, disinfected cinderblock walls of the home, shed almost been drained of her faith that good things were possible. And then Wyatt had shown up with the paperwork that sprung her free of that concrete prison. That day, as theyd accelerated onto the interstate with Citizen blasting at full volume, the tears had streamed down her face and she swore shed never doubt the power of keeping the faith again.

Nor would she doubt magic.

After all, look where she was. Mere minutes from standing in the front row at a concert given by her favorite band. Hearing songs that had gotten Hope through the darkest, scariest moments of her twenty-one years.

Some nights, she swore those songs had kept her alive.

When shed heard Citizen was coming to their little South Carolina town, an hour outside of Charleston, she couldnt believe it. They were hugely famous and played all over the world. Amsterdam, Paris, Prague. But when tickets for tonight went on sale, best believe Hope didnt question her luck. Shed clicked fast enough to nearly break her computers mouse.

Anticipation climbed Hopes spine when they were waved forward by security. She opened her fringed, cross-body bag and smiled brightly at the guard, inviting him to inspect the contents of her bag with a flashlight. Finally, he smiled back and sent Hope on her way and she squealed, hooking her arm through Wyatts to guide him toward the general admission, standing section in front of the stage. Also known as The Pit.

Remember, Wyatt shouted, as they entered the area and the opening bands set surrounded them in noise. Stay close to me, in case people start pushing.

Hope forced a solemn expression and carved a crisscross over her heart. Promise.

Wyatt grunted, his furrowed brow proclaiming his skepticism.

They wove through the crowded general admission area, Hopes brother using his size and general grumpiness to create a pathway. As they passed through the groups of college students, Hope noted they were the only ones without beers in hand and nudged Wyatt in the ribs. Do you want to go get a drink? Citizen probably wont come on for a while.

He hesitated, one hand stroking down his beard. Nah, Im good.

Go, brother bear. Hope smiled up at him. I promise not to be crushed by a mosh pit in your absence.

Not funny, he grumbled, before poking the air in front of her face with a finger. Stay right here, Hope. I mean it.

She nodded and pushed him back toward the general admission exit. As soon as Wyatt was out of sight, she turned to face the stage, squared her shoulders and let out a shaky breath. It was time to admit why her stomach continued to flip every five seconds.

Johnny Scott.

Citizens lead singer would be on that very stage tonightright in front of her. That voice that had growled the most beautiful words in her headphones would be coming from a place she could see and almost touch.

It wasnt that she had a crush on world-famous Johnny Scott. No, that wasnt quite it.

All the girls whod come tonight were probably a little bit in love with Johnny. Who wouldnt be? His lyrics haunted, his eyes spoke of complicated, untapped depths, his voice was pure seduction of the senses.

So yes, there was no denying he was an insanely gorgeous man. But Hopes infatuation with him was purely about the music. Sometimes late at night, she popped in her headphones and closed her eyes really tight, letting Citizens lyrics spin entire worlds in her head, with Johnnys voice as the conductor. It was well known that Johnny wrote all the songs himself and Hope could feel triumphs, disasters and honesty in every breath, every note. They were masterpiecesand she couldnt wait to be in the presence of that genius tonight.

Hope swayed to the ballad being sung by the opening bands female lead singer, surprised when they ended so soon and roadies dressed in black rushed out to change the equipment. The crowd swelled around Hope, carrying her forward as they pushed toward the stage, anticipating Citizens arrival. Energy snapped and crackled in the air, excitement fluttering in the pulse points at her wrists and neck. This was it.

When the lights went out and the crowd screamed, Hope registered vaguely that Wyatt wasnt back yet with his beer, but oh God, then she couldnt think at all, because the two-story screen hanging in the background of the stage flickered with white and red graffiti and the audience roared, smoke emerging from unseen sources as the band took the stage.

Four spotlights came on at once, highlighting the four members of Citizen

And as Hopes eyes landed on Johnny Scott for the first time, her body was attacked by a hot, full-body shiver.

Oh my, she whispered, the words swallowed up by the crowds deafening cheers.

On the screen of her computer or on the pages of magazines, Citizens lead singer was breathtaking. In person, he wasa god. He didnt smile or acknowledge the crowd as he picked up his white electric guitar, slinging it around his neck, testing the pedal. Shadows highlighted his prominent cheekbones and furrowed brows. A lock of black hair fell into his eyes, but he flicked his head to shoo it away.