BE WITH
ALSO BY FORREST GANDER
Available from New Directions As a Friend Core Samples from the World Eiko & Koma Eye Against Eye Science and Steepleflower Torn Awake The Trace
Editor Alice Iris Red Horse: Selected Poems (Gozo Yoshimasu)
Translator Firefly Under the Tongue: Selected Poems of Coral Bracho The Galloping Hour: French Poems (Alejandra Pizarnik)
Copyright 1995, 2010, 2012, 2013, 2015, 2017, 2018 by Forrest Gander Copyright 2010, 2018 by Michael Flomen All rights reserved. Except for brief passages quoted in a newspaper, magazine, radio, television, or website review, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Publisher. Manufactured in the United States of America New Directions Books are printed on acid-free paper First published as New Directions Paperbook 1408 in 2018
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: Gander, Forrest, 1956 author. | Flomen, Michael, photographer. Title: Be with / Forrest Gander ; with six photographs by Michael Flomen. | New York : New Directions Publishing Corporation, 2018. | New York : New Directions Publishing Corporation, 2018.
Identifiers: LCCN 2018002148 | ISBN 9780811226059 (alk. paper) Subjects: LCSH : John of the Cross, Saint, 15421591Poetry. | MothersDeathPoetry. | Mexican-American Border RegionPoetry. Classification: LCC PS 3557. A 47 A 6 2018 | DDC 811/.54dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018002148 eISBN: 9780811227759 New Directions Books are published for James Laughlin by New Directions Publishing Corporation 80 Eighth Avenue, New York 10011 ndbooks.com I thought you were an anchor in the drift ofthe world;but no: there isnt an anchor anywhere.There isnt an anchor in the drift ofthe world.
Oh no.I thought you were. Oh no. The drift ofthe world. William Bronk
BE WITH
The political begins in intimacySON
Its not the mirror that is draped, but what remains unspoken between us. Why say anything about death, inevitability, how the body comes to deploy the myriad worm as if it were a manageable concept not searing exquisite singularity. To serve it up like a eulogy or a tale of my or your own suffering. Some kind of self-abasement.
And so we continue waking to a decapitated sun and trees continue to irk me. The heart of charity bears its own set of genomes. You lug a bacterial swarm in the crook of your knee, and through my guts writhe helminth parasites. Who was ever only themselves? At Leptis Magna, when your mother & I were young, we came across statues of gods with their faces and feet cracked off by vandals. But for the row of guardian Medusa heads. No one so brave to deface those.
When she spoke, when your mother spoke, even the leashed greyhound stood transfixed. I stood transfixed. I gave my life to strangers; I kept it from the ones I love. Her one arterial child. It is just in you her blood runs.
BECKONED
At which point my grief-sounds ricocheted outside of language.
Something like a drifting swarm of bees. At which point in the tetric silence that followed I was swarmed by those bees and lost consciousness. At which point there was no way out for me either. At which point I carried on in a semi-coma, dreaming I was awake, avoiding friends and puking, plucking stingers from my face and arms. At which point her voice was pinned to a backdrop of vaporous color. At which point the cranes bustles flared.
At which point, coming to, I knew Id pay the whole flag-pull fare. At which point the driver turned and said it doesnt need to be your fault for it to break you. At which point without any lurching commencement, he began to play a vulture-bone flute. At which point I grew old and it was like ripping open the beehive with my hands again. At which point I conceived a realm more real than life. At which point there was at least some possibility.
Some possibility, in which I didnt believe, of being with her once more.
EPITAPH
To write
Youexisted me would not be merely a deaf translation. For there is no sequel to the passage when I saw
as you wouldnever againbe revealedyou see me
as I would neveragain be revealed. Where I stand now before the throne of glory, the script must remain hidden. Where, but in the utterance itself? Born halt and blind, hooped-in by obligations, aware of the stare of the animal inside, I hide behind mixed instrumentalities as behind a square of crocodile scute while cyanide drifts from clouds to the rivers. And in this too might be seen a figuration of the human, another intimately lethal gesture of our common existence.
DEADOUT
I.
DEADOUT
I.
Gets out his dab rig and shatter At once at its mercy and in control of it The bull snake lifted the terrarium cover About three feet six from snout to vent Youngbloods metaphorizing death What kind of clue do they have Her scent: vinegar, zinc oxide, and hinoki cypress He dreamed of it awake dreams of it Watching another season of Spanky Wankers Only made his fillings ache So now hes got reptile dysfunction Me too, says the dust. Motorcycle parked in the handicapped spot He regards the forest of standing dead snags . II. Youngbloods metaphorizing death Only made his fillings ache The bull snake lifted the terrarium cover He dreamed of it awake dreams of it Gets out his dab rig and shatter Me too, says the dust About three feet six from snout to vent So now hes got reptile dysfunction Her scent: vinegar, zinc oxide, and hinoki cypress At once at its mercy and in control of it What kind of clue do they have He regards the forest of standing dead snags Watching another season of Spanky Wankers Motorcycle parked in the handicapped spot
CARBONIZED FOREST
The eye that was open on Friday. The portent and the portents flensed hide. Ribbons of flesh swarming downward.
Like a school of leeches deserting some unlit cataclysm. And a briary phantom there, Stygian, erect. Saying, here is the untranslation of the world. Mounted on a spire of form. The disembarkation of abyss. Fragmentary sputtering.
And what you thought were dark whiptails of illumination were bristles from a shaved bear being milked for bile in a rusting cage. Nested among the mesh of soft translucent sounds fallen from your lips, the vestiges of someones breathing.
ENTENDERMENT
You could see: her consciousness was in her skin While his primary material was weightlessness She candled eggs for Petaluma Poultry And daydreamed of stars glowering In the Prawn Nebulas ultraviolet light He saw himself a victim of place Among shirtless gods playing frisbee on the green Oh death, he mumbled (in his sleep), Im coming for you Its true, la vida es caprichosa y puetera Full of unresolved sevenths and ninths So like Su Huis infinite poem And once when sipping water he coughed, She started to laugh, mistaking his gesture Every event drags loss behind it
Dark, be brightTheres nightshade in my brain They meant to shut their door to the setting sun But her knees poked through the soap bubbles While he stayed out late lying on his back Under the ultraviolet light of the Prawn Nebula Behind a drawn curtain The nurse cursed Giving voice to his own inarticulacy Trauma brings its singular sharpness. Everyone sees her in his eyes He offers a cigarette for the dog to eat And goes back to metronoming Re-coupled to the common lag of friends Tic Tacs rattle in his pocket Hes breathing tequila fumes at 9 a.m. Unreadable but not ambiguous Like hounds yowling at the horizon Below the Prawn Nebulas ultraviolet light She wrote,