Dreeke Robin - The Code of Trust: an American counterintelligence experts five rules to lead and succeed

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For Kim, Katelyn, and Kevin with endless gratitude for helping me hone my trust-building skills every day of my life through their great tolerance and patience with me.

Robin Dreeke

For Lori Brockman, with deep appreciation and everlasting love for sharing her life with me, and making it the best part of mine.

Cameron Stauth

I MAGINE A WORLD WHERE THERE is no trust. Our lives would be hell, since there would be no one, and nothing, that we could rely onnot our parents, our institutions, our organizations, or even our friends. Life would be bleak.

Food would be unsafe, cars would be dangerous, the firefighters and paramedics might not respond, and depending upon a pilot to safely fly us where we wanted to go would be a coin toss.

Trustone conceptunderpins virtually everything we value. Without trust, we would be merely surviving, not thriving.

Fortunately for us, trust is a universal attribute. It is something we all want.

It is trust that allows us to establish relationships quickly. Lack of trust, though, is what ruins many relationships, at home and at work.

But as important as trust is, how do we establish it? How do we keep trust? How do we fix trust issues? How do we better imbue trust? How can we gain someones trust in a few hours, minutes, or even seconds? How do we know when others are not worthy of our trust?

Perhaps you have never thought about this. Most of us dont. In previous generations, when most of us lived in small towns and villages, trust was easy to establish. Everyone knew whom to trust. But now most of us dont live in small towns, where our parents pedigree is well known, and where we also have been a known commodity since birth. Most of us live and work nowhere near where we were born. You may be living in Miami one morning, and the next week you are working in Phoenix, where no one knows youand yet, within a short time, you must establish trust.

We live in a world where trust is required, although you may not always see it. Trust is the social tissue that binds us together, so that we can get things done, work together more effectively, and grow our relationships.

Trust must be established not over a lifetime, but, more often than not, in minutes, if not seconds. Yes, secondsthat is how quickly our fast-paced, interconnected, transient e-reality world works.

So, how do we do it? How do we garner and establish trust? This is where this book and Robin Dreeke come in.

Robin and I share a few things. We are both pilots, we both worked for the FBI as Special Agents, and we were both in the FBIs elite National Security Branch Behavioral Analysis Program. More important, we are both in the people business.

Thats right, the people business. I hear this all the time: I sell appliances, or, I work in real estate, or, I work for a financial institution, or, I do landscaping, or, I am a stay-at-home dad. What they are really saying is, I am in the people business, and in that business I sell refrigerators, sell houses, invest peoples money, make someones yard look nice, or I am rearing the most precious thing in this world: a child. They always put their occupation first, but what they forget is that, first and foremost, they are in the people business. Most of us are in the people business, and if you are not, you are the rare exception.

In the people business, how we interact with each other is anchored in trust.

There have been books in the past about the importance of trust, but when Robin told me he was going to write one about how to create and nourish trust, I immediately thanked him, because this is something we can all use. A guide to understanding trust, how to exercise it, and how to make it work for us is so important and so needed.

Robin is a master of looking at human behavior, and simplifying our understanding of others. Using those skillsdeveloped in the FBI, where matters of life and death are a daily challenge, and everything happens in seconds rather than daysRobin gives us insight into how to assess others, and determine their needs, wants, desires, intentions, and fears. Once you understand that, and establish trust, all else follows.

People want to be appreciated, cared for, loved, trusted, and respected. But they also want to be understood, and if you master the skills to achieve that, you truly become exceptional. You become one of those people we often read aboutsomeone who is well respected, well liked, and sought after. That is the power of trust.

With trust, true relationships are possible, and become a source of comfort and happiness. Realistically, with trust, almost anything is possible. Without trust, knowing whats in the mind of others becomes a mere exercise in futility.

The tools, strategies, and secrets to working with others, and to establishing trust, are well known to Robin, because he has dedicated himself to studying this subject as a Naval Academy graduate, a lieutenant in the United States Marines, as an FBI Special Agent, and as manager of the FBIs most prestigious behavioral program. When your job is commanding others, or catching criminals and spies, you cant help but master the art and science of what worksand nothing works faster than trust. In those high-stakes situations, trust is critical.

If the skills practiced by the knowledgeable few who work in those high-stakes positions are effective for them, they will certainly be effective for you, in your daily life.

Written in a very practical style, full of examples and anecdotes, this book is for anyone interested in understanding themselves, and more important, understanding others.

Joe Navarro, former FBI Special Agent, author of Three Minutes to Doomsday and What Every BODY Is Saying

Trust in the Streets of New York

I AM GOING TO TELL YOU how to inspire trust, and rise to the rare level of leadership that only trust can confer. Its a simple lesson, but not an easy one.

Here it is, fully revealed, in all its simplicity. First: Be eminently worthy of trust. Second: Prove you are.

Could anything be harder than that?

The first part is hard, and the second is even harder.

How many people in your lifeand even in historydo you consider worthy of absolute trust?

Who would you trust with your life? The lives of your family? Your life savings? Your deepest secrets? Your career? Your reputation?

Would you trust your best friend? Would you place your full trust in our current president, a past president, or any current office holder? What about your doctor or attorney? Your boss? Your business partner? Your brother or sister? Your spouse?

Would you follow that persons lead implicitly, and do whatever you possibly could for them, with minimal questioning?

You probably would do that for some of these people. Thats commonespecially if theyre familyand its healthy.

Some of that trust may rest upon universal social agreements: Youre my mother, so I trust you. Even more commonly, though, your trust may stem in part from contractual agreements that imply at least a minor degree of uncertainty: a business contract, a confidentiality agreement, a prenuptial agreement, a living will that governs the treatment of your loved ones, or your citizens right to remove untrustworthy people from power.