Melissa Browne - Unf*ck Your Finances: Your Handbook to Financial Freedom

With thanks to Tony, the #baldsexyman, who cooks me soup, listens to me rant, knows I often take on too much and never says I told you so. Its official. Husband of the year.

WHEN I WAS LITTLE MY PARENTS WOULD WASH MY MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP IF I SWORE. CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT THEY THINK OF THE TITLE OF THIS BOOK?

BUT THE THING IS, ITS NOT WRITTEN FOR THEM. ITS WRITTEN FOR YOU. THE GEN X/Y WHO SAW THE TITLE AND CONNECTED WITH IT IMMEDIATELY. I KNOW IF YOU READ IT, ABSORB IT AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, YOU CAN ACTUALLY DO IT. UNF*CK YOUR FINANCES THAT IS.

THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO ANYONE WHO FEELS LIKE THEYRE SITTING AT THE BOTTOM OF A DEEP HOLE, DESPERATELY LOOKING FOR THE MAGIC DRINK OR MAGIC CAKE, UNSURE HOW THEY ARRIVED THERE BUT ABSOLUTELY F*CKING SURE THEY DONT KNOW HOW TO GET OUT.

THIS IS THE LITTLE WHITE RABBIT.

FOLLOW ME.

ENJOY.

MEL X

CONTENTS

Perhaps our grandparents had it easier. There was a script, a nancial path, an expected course to follow. They grew up, met a partner, married, bought a house, popped out a few kids, retired at 60, went on the age pension, bought a caravan and looked after the grandkids during the holidays.

Today that script has changed.

House prices in many countries are skyrocketing, rents are galloping, technology is sprinting ahead and globalisation means our competitors and our next job could be anywhere.

Our households today are made up of the traditional family unit, singles, child-free couples, childless couples, gay couples, framilies and more.

We have easy access to credit, the ability to spend 24/7, and a casual willingness to sacrice our nancial future for the right designer outt bought online on credit to post on social media.

Many of us are more concerned with seizing the day and not worrying about tomorrow because who knows what next week will bring, never mind next year or next decade. And retirement? It simply doesnt bear thinking about.

So, we dont.

Im certainly part of this wave that is writing a new storyline. Ive been married twice, lived in a house with six of my closest friends in my early thirties, have chosen with my now-husband not to have children, have co-founded three businesses, and spend my week split between a house in the mountains and an apartment in the city. I love the nancial freedom of being able to design the life I want, but I also know Ive had to work hard for this to become my reality.

Thats because Ive had to do a bloody good job of unf*cking my own nances. Ive had to understand my compulsions, protect myself from self-sabotage and claw my way back from nding myself with less than nothing in my early thirties.

Now, I am fortunate in that I have a nancially astute father who retired very well in his early fties. I picked his brain during my nancial black hole with all sorts of questions about investing, business, shares, property and more. Of course, I didnt tell him about my dire nancial situation. I was far too ashamed which, given we both have nancial backgrounds, seems really silly now. But thankfully I at least had the sense to ask, listen and, most importantly, to act.

Most of us arent lucky enough to have a dad whose nancially savvy brain we can pick.

In fact, most of us werent even taught the basics of managing our nances, whether by our parents at home, at school or at university. Sure, if we have a pile of cash we can talk to a nancial advisor who will sell us a product or two but what if we dont?

Which is exactly why I wrote this book.

Because if youre in a position where you know your nances need some unf*cking, or you suspect youre on a slippery slope to your own nancial black hole, then let this book be the little savvy brain you can pick. One that starts you on your own path to nancial wholeness.

Now, needing to unf*ck your nances doesnt necessarily mean you have a whole lot of debt. Although for some of you thats exactly what it does mean. Instead, it can mean helping you learn how to nancially grow up.

To nancially adult.

Unf*cking your nances can mean understanding how to get into a habit of saving rather than spending, guring out how to set up your bank accounts, tricks to help you save money without you even realising it, investments you should know about, why you shouldnt budget, and how to become not just nancially unf*cked, but nancially well.

The rst step to nancial wellness is to unf*ck your nances.

For some of you theres just no way around it. You need to seriously sort yourself out. Financially, that is. To start to dig yourself out of the hole youve created, or to jump on the brakes before you end up too much further down the hill. You need to work out what youre doing, why youre doing it and gure out a new way of doing things that works for you.

The second step is to create nancial resilience.

This means starting to show some nancial grit, building up nancial toughness and beginning to feel nancially strong. You might have paid down your debt, built up some savings, gained an understanding of where your money is going, started investing, and now youre beginning to see some results.

Of course, we could just stop there. I mean, surely having nancial resilience is a great thing?

Perhaps. But personally, I dont ever want resilience to be my end game.

Thats because I see resilience as a gritty thing. Its a teeth-clenched, nger-tip-gripping, pushing-through-to-the-end kind of state. And its what many of us aspire to. Its what we want for our lives, our nances, our children. The ability to bounce back. To be resilient.

After all, surely thats what unf*cking your nances means? To become nancially resilient?

Not quite.

Sure, Im incredibly happy to have the qualities of resilience but I dont want simply to be recovering from aftershocks in life. Instead, I think resilience needs to be something we pass through or perhaps have in our toolkit on our way to the end game of nancial wellness.

Which is why the third step is to become nancially well.

Not to simply suffer our nancial situation, or wait for Prince Charming, a fairy godmother or a lottery ticket to come and rescue us, but to grab those glass slippers and rescue ourselves.

At the end of the day unf*cking your nances, developing nancial resilience and, ultimately, embracing nancial wellness starts with you. And hopefully begins with the book thats in your hands now.

So, take a deep breath, pour yourself a glass of wine if need be, and lets begin your next nancial chapter.

You cant write a book with f*ck in the title and not talk about sex. Its simply necessary.

Lets start our sex chat with the ultimate bad sex guide, Fifty Shades of Grey. Why start here? Because I was asked to speak at the launch of the movie in Melbourne. Now, I appreciate it may seem strange to ask a nancial advisor to speak about money before a lm that is almost completely about sex. Perhaps youre thinking I was the metaphorical bucket of cold water.

Whatever the reason, I was so glad to be asked.

Not because I wanted to watch Fifty Shades of Grey. I still havent read the book and wouldnt have watched the movie if left to my own devices. Not because Im a prude. I simply object to bad storylines. After all, if Im going to ll a sneaky few hours with sex, Id rather ll them with sex and fashion by watching an episode of