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Doka Kenneth J. - Grieving beyond gender: understanding the ways men and women mourn

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Doka Kenneth J. Grieving beyond gender: understanding the ways men and women mourn
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The Series in Death Dying and Bereavement Robert Neimeyer Consulting Editor - photo 1

The Series in Death, Dying, and Bereavement

Robert Neimeyer, Consulting Editor


BederVoices of Bereavement: A Casebook for Grief Counselors

BergerMusic of the Soul: Composing Life Out of Loss

DaviesShadows in the Sun: The Experiences of Sibling Bereavement in Childhood

HarveyPerspectives on Loss: A Sourcebook

JeffreysHelping Grieving PeopleWhen Tears Are Not Enough: A Handbook for Care Providers

Katz, JohnsonWhen Professionals Weep: Emotional and Countertransference Responses in End-of-Life Care

KlassThe Spiritual Lives of Bereaved Parents

LeenaarsLives and Deaths: Selections from the Works of Edwin S. Shneidman

Leong, LeachSuicide among Racial and Ethnic Minority Groups: Theory, Research, and Practice

LesterKaties Diary: Unlocking the Mystery of a Suicide

Martin, DokaMen Dont CryWomen Do: Transcending Gender Stereotypes of Grief

NordMultiple AIDS-Related Loss: A Handbook for Understanding and Surviving a Perpetual Fall

RogersThe Art of Grief: The Use of Expressive Arts in a Grief Support Group

RoosChronic Sorrow: A Living Loss

RosenblattParent Grief: Narratives of Loss and Relationship

Rosenblatt, WallaceAfrican-American Grief

SilvermanWidow to Widow, Second Edition

Tedeschi, CalhounHelping Bereaved Parents: A Clinicians Guide

WerthContemporary Perspectives on Rational Suicide

Werth, BlevinsDecision Making near the End of Life: Issues, Developments, and Future Directions


Formerly The Series in Death, Education, Aging, and Health Care

Hannelore Wass, Consulting Editor


BardMedical Ethics in Practice

BenolielDeath Education for the Health Professional

BertmanFacing Death: Images, Insights, and Interventions

BrammerHow to Cope with Life Transitions: The Challenge of Personal Change

CleirenBereavement and Adaptation: A Comparative Study of the Aftermath of Death

Corless, Pittman-LindemanAIDS: Principles, Practices, and Politics, Abridged Edition

Corless, Pittman-LindemanAIDS: Principles, Practices, and Politics, Reference Edition

CurranAdolescent Suicidal Behavior

DavidsonThe Hospice: Development and Administration, Second Edition

Davidson, LinnollaRisk Factors in Youth Suicide

Degner, BeatonLife-Death Decisions in Health Care

DokaAIDS, Fear, and Society: Challenging the Dreaded Disease

DotyCommunication and Assertion Skills for Older Persons

Epting, NeimeyerPersonal Meanings of Death: Applications for Personal Construct Theory to Clinical Practice

HaberHealth Care for an Aging Society: Cost-Conscious Community Care and Self-Care Approaches

HughesBereavement and Support: Healing in a Group Environment

Irish, Lundquist, NelsenEthnic Variations in Dying, Death, and Grief: Diversity in Universality

Klass, Silverman, NickmanContinuing Bonds: New Understanding of Grief

LairCounseling the Terminally Ill: Sharing the Journey

Leenaars, Maltsberger, NeimeyerTreatment of Suicidal People

Leenaars, WencksternSuicide Prevention in Schools

LengPsychological Care in Old Age

LevitonHorrendous Death, Health, and Well-Being

LevitonHorrendous Death and Health: Toward Action

Lindeman, Corby, Downing, SanbornAlzheimers Day Care: A Basic Guide

LundOlder Bereaved Spouses: Research With Practical Applications

NeimeyerDeath Anxiety Handbook: Research, Instrumentation, and Application

Papadatou, PapadatosChildren and Death

Prunkl, BerryDeath Week: Exploring the Dying Process

Ricker, MyersRetirement Counseling: A Practical Guide for Action

SamarelCaring for Life and Death

Sherron, LumsdenIntroduction to Educational Gerontology, Third Edition

StillionDeath and Sexes: An Examination of Differential Longevity Attitudes, Behaviors, and Coping Skills

Stillion, McDowell, MaySuicide Across the Life SpanPremature Exits

VachonOccupational Stress in the Care of the Critically Ill, the Dying, and the Bereaved

Wass, CorrChildhood and Death

Wass, CorrHelping Children Cope With Death: Guidelines and Resource. Second Edition

Wass, Corr, Pacholski, ForfarDeath Education II: An Annotated Resource Guide

Wass, NeimeyerDying: Facing the Facts. Third Edition

WeenolsenTranscendence of Loss Over the Life Span

WerthRational Suicide? Implications for Mental Health Professionals

Routledge
Taylor & Francis Group
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2010 by Taylor and Francis Group, LLC
Routledge is an imprint of Taylor & Francis Group, an Informa business

This edition published in the Taylor & Francis e-Library, 2011.

To purchase your own copy of this or any of Taylor & Francis or Routledges collection of thousands of eBooks please go to www.eBookstore.tandf.co.uk.

International Standard Book Number: 978-0-415-99571-9 (Hardback) 978-0-415-99572-6 (Paperback)

For permission to photocopy or use material electronically from this work, please access www.copyright.com (http://www.copyright.com/) or contact the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc. (CCC), 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, 978-750-8400. CCC is a not-for-profit organization that provides licenses and registration for a variety of users. For organizations that have been granted a photocopy license by the CCC, a separate system of payment has been arranged.

Trademark Notice: Product or corporate names may be trademarks or registered trademarks, and are used only for identification and explanation without intent to infringe.


Library of Congress CataloginginPublication Data


Doka, Kenneth J.
Grieving beyond gender : understanding the ways men and women mourn / Kenneth J. Doka and Terry L. Martin. -- Rev. ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-415-99571-9 (hardback : alk. paper) -- ISBN 978-0-415-99572-6 (pbk. : alk. paper)
1. Grief. 2. Bereavement--Psychological aspects. 3. Death--Psychological aspects. 4. Grief therapy. I. Martin, Terry L. II. Title.

BF575.G7.D64 2010
155.937--dc22 2009038061


Visit the Taylor & Francis Web site at
http://www.taylorandfrancis.com/

and the Routledge Web site at
http://www.routledgementalhealth.com/

ISBN 0-203-88606-2 Master e-book ISBN

To Luz Calzada, my daughter-in-laws mother, both for the wonderful work in raising Angela, and, in her all too brief life, for the great gift she was to my son, grandchildren, and to me.

KJD

To my wife and closest friend, Gail, whose support and gentle questioning has helped me through the most difficult times. Also for my mentor and closest male friend, Dr. Dana Cable. His influence is found throughout this book.

TLM

To the Saturday Night OutlawsPast and Present
Dana Cable
Neil Heflin-Wells
Jane Nichols
Van Pine
Lu Redmond
Catherine Sanders
Sherry Schachter

KJD and TLM

SERIES EDITOR FOREWORD

About 15 years ago one of the authors of this book and I participated in a meeting of the International Work Group on Death, Dying, and Bereavement (or IWG for short), a sort of invitational summit conference for grief and loss scholars and professionals. Intrigued by the then emerging diagnosis of complicated grief, we took advantage of the unique structure of IWG to propose a small work group to discuss the topic and to draw upon the long and deep experience of several of the participants in the meeting to gain a clearer understanding of the work of mourning, and its personal, systemic and cultural complications. We then met together with eight other senior colleagues in the field for a dozen hours over the next few days, letting the conversation move forward spontaneously toward the growing edge of our own understanding, rather than the usual sort of conference talk in which one expert after another holds forth about something he or she seems to have all figured out, while others are cast in the passive role of listeners.

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