Table of Contents
To Evan, my husband. You are my rock.
Alyssa Dweck, MD
As always to my husband, Howie, my mentor, friend, and loverand to sister goddesses everywhere.
Robin Westen
Introduction
Vaginas. Ive seen thousands of them. As a full-time practicing OB/GYN for almost two decades, Ive learned women have a complex relationship with their Vs. Whether curious, closed, excited, elated, tenacious, mortified, tearful, or fearful, shy, panicked, pugnacious, even petrified, women first and foremost all want to know one thing: Am I normal down there?
This essential question is the reason that Im Facebooked frequently, cornered in the grocery store aisle, sidelined at the gym, questioned in cafs, and stopped on the street by women who have urgent issues about their vaginas. Their queries and concerns inspired me to write V Is for Vagina. Rather than talk yeast infection in the produce aisle or labioplasty on the elliptical machine, I wanted to get the word out, to educate women in an easy-to-read, nonthreatening, down-to-earth way. I wanted to share medically sound and up-to-date information in a humorous, hip, and relaxed style. And I wanted to have a little fun, too.
So, here it is, V Is for Vagina: a humorous but informative guide to the sometimes mysterious but always fascinating and amazing VAGINA. Some of the chapters ahead are more medical, while others are chatty and lighthearted. Theres material that may embarrass some readers, even offend others. But please be assured that all of the information is solid and stems from the experiences Ive been fortunate enough to share with my patients over the years. Nothing, and I mean nothing, surprises me anymore. Truly, Ive heard it all.
You can either use V Is for Vagina as a reference guide to answer your individual questions or take the quiz at the beginning of the book to figure out where you stand in general V knowledge. From there, you can fill in the blanks by reading those sections that need clarification. Its also a great companion to take along for a womens day out with your BFFs. I only suggest you keep your voices down if youre in public. Even uttering the word vagina can quickly draw the attention of strangers! And moms, this guide can help you explain the basics to your young daughters in a heart-centered and nonscary way.
This to my mind is the vagina as icon,
Sacred, inviolable, worshipped.
The sister and source
From which all human life springs.
Catherine Blackledge
But of course, never substitute the information in this book for a visit with your gynecologist if you still have questionsor need medical attention.
Ready for the inside scoop on your lovely V?
Please read, laugh, and learn
Lets Have a Party: The Vagina Is Coming Out!
Just as womens bodies are softer than mens, so their understanding is sharper.
Christine de Pisan
OUR V: Its the subject of girl talk over coffee, blabbed about on Greys Anatomy, discussed by Oprah, described on Curb Your Enthusiasm, joked over on Bill Maher, rapped on by Lil Wayne, mocked in Date Night, enjoyed on Sex and the City, painted on canvas, represented in caves, sculpted into walls, monologued on Broadway, banned, beautified, deified, pierced, waxed, creamed, oiled, stretched, tightened, tattooed, glorified, despised, and mythologized. There are over one thousand slang words for it (who-ha, vajayjay, cha-cha, lady flower, foo foo, cooch, noonie, love clam, twinkle, quim, the love canal, the great gorge, pink, pussy, salmon canyon, and oasis, to name just a few). You can order mugs, T-shirts, songs, poems, pens, pencils, sculptures, paintings, posters, and magnets with the word vagina in, over, or on them.
And suddenly there seems to be a market for putting the va-va-voom back in the vajayjay. The number of women undergoing cosmetic surgery to improve its function and appearancetighten the V, sculpt the labia, or restore the hymenhas gone up dramatically in the last few years, making them procedure the fastest growing in the country. Spas in New York, L.A., D.C., and elsewhere offer vagina rejuvenation, everything from irrigating the vaginal passage, slipping in a breath mint, or massaging the clit to boost its sensitivity, to applying a tightening cream that promises to reduce its appearance to a youthful state for a full twenty-four hours. Think Cinderella having a ball!
Yet, despite all the attention, most of us know squat about our salmon canyon. For example, Summers Eve, a womens hygiene product, recently surveyed sisters from all backgrounds across the United States and found that nearly 70 percent of women asked cannot identify five major parts of their female genitalia, and nearly 60 percent struggle with unresolved feelings just about the word vagina.
Need more evidence that when it comes to our lovely Vs were in the dark but want and
need to be brought into the light? Consider these stats from the Association of Reproductive Professionals:
While women perform breast self-exams regularly, only half (49%) surveyed have ever performed a self-exam of their vaginas. Twenty-four percent have not looked at their vagina in a year or longer. HOW SAD.
Two-thirds of women (65%) concur that vaginal health and research have not received the proper attention they deserve. AGREED.
More than half of the women surveyed (59%) say that society has too many misconceptions about vaginas. TOTALLY.
Ninety percent of women agree that its important for women to be sufficiently educated about the vagina. HELLO THATS WHY IM HERE.
Nearly three in four women surveyed (73%) believe that the vagina is still a shocking topic. GULP.
Some women consider their vaginas ugly, gross, dirty, and embarrassing. LET ME SAY THIS RIGHT NOWTHIS HAS GOT TO STOP!
Only half of the women surveyed (51%) consider themselves to be extremely/very knowledgeable about their vaginas. LETS CHANGE THAT!
The good news is this: Times are changing, fast and furiously. After all, just in the past few years, women have had to deal with plenty of new and different issues, including infections from the oh-so-popular and bare-it-all Brazilian wax, piercings gone awry, tattoos run amok, and irritation from speed-breaking spinning classes. There are updates on estrogen replacement; a controversial vaccine to protect young girls from getting genital warts and cervical cancer; the redesign of tampons and pads; a host of new and ultratitillating sex toys; the current vajazzling craze; updated consideration on vitamins and soy; new treatments for vulvodynia, the vaginal pain syndrome thousands of women suffer; and OMG, so much more. Plus, sex researchers have discovered the A spot, which some claim one-ups the G spot for guaranteeing over-the-top orgasm pleasure.
For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.
