Baker - The erotica handbook (how to write erotica): a guide to making $100 an hour writing erotica short stories and selling them online

The Erotica Handbook

(How to Write Erotica)

A GUIDE TO MAKING $100 AN HOUR

WRITING EROTICA SHORT STORIES

AND SELLING THEM ONLINE

___________________

EMILY BAKER

2016 Emily Baker. All rights reserved. No part of this document or the related files may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the author.

All registered trademarks in this book are property of their respective owners.

Edited by Dema Amirmoez.

ASIN: B01BXR40AO

All illustrations by Todd Parker unless otherwise noted.

v.D.03-a

Table of Contents

Getting Started

Introduction

Youre probably thinking, Why does this book cover have pickles on it? and well get to that, but first Id like to introduce myself.

My name is Emily Baker. Four years ago I was 34, unemployed, and clinically depressed. Both I and my husband had been laid off from our jobs and things were bleak. Social assistance was threatening to cut us off unless we accepted minimum wage jobs. We had both been salespeople earning $40,000/year for a pharmaceutical company and even if both of us had taken those minimum wage jobs it wouldnt have paid the bills.

We had to walk away from out mortgage. And let me tell you, that is a painful thing to do. We moved in to my in-laws basement and my husband found a job selling auto parts. It didnt pay much. Barely enough to cover our rent, food, and the car. (Yes his parents charged us rent while we were struggling to get back on our feet.) I was spending every day scouring the internet looking for ways to make money, but I found that most of these job opportunities were scams.

Then I got an email from my aunt. Shes 62 and I nearly blew milk of my nose when she told me she was a best-selling erotica author.

You have got to be shitting me, I said. Or something like that. She chastised me for cursing and kept talking.

She told me how she had been writing freelance short stories for decades and getting them published in magazines like Penthouse and Hustler.

Then she said, Ill be in town next week, why dont I drop by and teach you how to write erotica?

What are you nuts? I thought. I cant write erotica. I dont even know what erotica is!

Turns out writing erotica is actually pretty simple. If youve ever watched a porn or had sex, or even fantasized about having sex, then you are qualified. All you need to write erotica is desire and a pen.

My aunt explained theres only one hurdle you need to jump in order to get started. And thats dealing with the idea that you are now a producer of smut. Theres a lot of hypocrisy when it comes to naughty stories. Many polls show that while people are okay with pornography, somehow erotica crosses the line.

Lets settle this once and for all: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH EROTICA.

Sex is a natural part of life.

If you have a vivid imagination then writing erotica can be better than watching pornography because you have the power to dictate what happens to the actors. And theres no feeling like having power over people.

It had been a while since I felt powerful about anything, so I told my aunt, Lets do this, and the rest is history.

These days I barely do any writing at all. My income is almost completely passive. Every month I get a bunch of emails from Amazon telling me how much money theyve just wired to my bank account. More or less one email for each country. America and the UK tend to buy the most erotica, but Australia has been doing well for me lately.

Getting paid over and over again for creating a product that people enjoy is the best feeling in the world.

I know what its like to stand in line at the food bank. I know what its like to deal with nasty people at the social assistance office.

Ive been down that road and Im telling you, it doesnt have to stay that way forever. You can pull yourself out of the gutter. You can make a living writing erotica short stories from home. If I can do this, you can do this.

If you have access to the internet and a word processor you are already further ahead than I was when I first started writing.

Okay, lets get started.

-Emily Baker

Why write erotica?

Its easy: You know what sex is, right? Youre already most of the way there. Well cover everything in the writing section, but I want you to know, right off the bat, that writing erotica is easy. Its the easiest form of fiction you will ever write. Its so easy that my aunt, who never even finished high school, wrote erotic short stories her entire life and is now retired and living on a ranch in Oregon. The American Dream is still alive. With hard work, tenacity, and creativity you can achieve financial independence.

It sells: Erotica is the only genre on Amazon where a new author can write a short story thats only 2,500 words long and sell it for $2.99. Thats insane. Some authors spend years writing and editing their 150,000 word fantasy epic only to find out its junk and never sell a single copy. Even if they do sell any copies theyre probably still only getting between $2.99 and $4.99. Sure, theyre creating art. But The Erotica Handbook is not about making art, its about making money. I cant pay my cellphone bill with art.

Its fast: I write 2,500 words a day, no exceptions. That means that every couple of days Im creating a money-generating asset that will passively earn me income for the rest of my life. The minimum length of a short story on Amazon is 2,500 words. If you want, you can create and publish a story every single day! With the recent changes to Kindle Unlimited, 2,500 is a little short, but I know some authors who are still quite successful in this area. Dont worry about running out of ideas. In the writing section I will teach you how to generate an infinite amount of ideas for erotica short stories.

Writing erotica is easy, it makes lots of money, and you can write and publish a story in less than four hours. So why not give it a shot? Youve got nothing to lose.

Even if youre working full-time you can write erotica. I do a lot of my writing (and most of my editing) on my smart phone. Just whip it out when youre on a break and get a few words down. Save it to the cloud and you wont even have to worry about backing up your work.

You can bundle it: Some days you just wont feel like writing, but through the magic of bundles you can still create an income-generating asset. Bundles are easy to create and Kindle Unlimited users love them (because they love discounts, and bundled stories take up less room on their devices). Bundles also make a ton of money so I have a feeling you will love them as well.

What sort of income can I expect to earn in my first month?

My first story erotica short story took twelve hours to write. The cover took five hours to design on my crappy laptop. Writing the blurb and picking my keywords took another two hours. It made $2.

I was pretty devastated. I bought a huge bottle of vodka and a frozen pizza and drank until I blacked out. When I woke up I found the charred pizza in my oven. Id forgotten to eat it or even turn the oven off. If my in-laws hadnt been in Hawaii I would have gotten in major shit. I poured what was left of the liquor down the train and went back to sleep.

When I woke up around 5PM (disgusting, I know) I phoned and my aunt told her I had failed.

She said, Dont worry about it. Nobody knocks it out of the park on their first at bat.

But I suck.

You dont suck.

I suck, I said, wondering if I had any money left in my bank account for another bottle of vodka. I couldnt help it. Looking back I was probably an alcoholic. I was self-medicating to get rid of the pain.

Did you learn anything? said my aunt.

What do you mean?