Carroll Aaron E. - Dont put that in there!: and 69 other sex myths debunked

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FOR

Aimee,

whose contributions to this book shall remain nameless, but appreciated

AND

Elizabeth and Becky,

because we can talk about anything, including sex

Contents

Introduction

Who do you ask when you have a question about sex? Are there things about sex youve always wondered about, but never dared to bring up with anyone?

Most of us have learned all sorts of things about sex. But, think about where you got your information. You talked about sex with your friends, you learned some basics from your sex ed class, you saw some interesting things on TV or on the Internet, and you figured some things out from experience.

You may have plenty of information about sex, but we would bet that some of it is wrong. People believe all kinds of things about sex that are just not true! And even if you like talking about sex, you might not be as eager to ask questions about whether your ideas about sex are correct.

People believe many myths, half-truths, and outright lies when it comes to sex. When we wrote our first myth-busting book, Dont Swallow Your Gum! we included a whole section on myths about sex and getting pregnant. They were hugely popular. When we wrote Dont Cross Your Eyes, we added some more myths in this vein. Once again, the sex myths seemed to be the ones people wanted to talk about most.

After all, who doesnt love talking about sex?

Well believe it or not, it was not our dream to become sex experts! Sex is not all we want to talk about.

Aarons favorite story about writing our first myth-busting book is how much he teased Rachel over her inability to defend whether cum should or should not be spelled with a u. Ask her. Watch her blush.

Aaron has three kids who are still pretty young, and he has had a hard time deflecting conversations about this book from them. His daughter, age seven at the time of writing this, seems to be on to him, and is constantly pressuring him for more information about the book.

Nonetheless, as pediatricians, part of our job is to teach adolescents about sex. As researchers, our job is to help figure out the science about what works and what doesnt work to keep people healthy. And as professional myth-debunkers, we cant let you believe things about sex and your body that just are not true.

So, we overcame our inhibitions to shine some light (and evidence) on the most popular and prevalent sex myths around. For those of you who are new to these books, heres how it all works:

One of the skills necessary to our job as health services researchers is to understand health research and translate what it means for the general public. So for each of these myths, we scoured the worlds medical literature, looking for scientific studies to prove the idea true or false. Youd be shocked at how often real research has been done on these topics. We bring the science to you, explain what it means, andmore often than notdetail why these myths are or arent true.

When you read this book, its important that you remember we do not just want to give you our opinions. Were showing you, through data, why we think an idea is a myth. We wont just tell you that myths arent real; well show you why.

This is the book that will answer all those crazy questions you have had about sex. Plus, if you read it, youre pretty much guaranteed to be the life of the party. Our friends love just hearing the chapter titles in this book. Imagine how popular youll be when you become the sexpert who can discuss them at length.

Some of the myths in this book are lighthearted fun. Others are deadly serious. We apply the same research and scrutiny to all of them. If we cant find evidence, well say so. But more often than not, science exists to tell us whether that sex idea is true or myth. When there is science, we should use it. Get ready for all of the sex science.

Happy myth-busting!

Part One

MEN

Penis Size Matters

One of our friends debunks the myth this way: Its not the size of the wave, but the motion of the ocean. There are a lot of different ways to phrase this, but it comes down to one important question: Does it matter how big the guys penis is? We will start by looking at whether penis size matters to men who have sex with women, then whether it matters to the women themselves, and then whether it matters to men who have sex with men.

If you ask your friends, you might hear all kinds of answers to this question. Some claim that size does not matter at all as long as the man knows how to use their penis well. Others swear that the best sex of their lives was with a particularly well-endowed partner. And some will say that sex with an exceptionally large penis was not enjoyable, and even painful. Both popular opinion and surveys suggest that men are very concerned about the question of how big they are and how the size of their penis compares to other mens penises.

Scientists have looked at the influence of penis size on all sorts of thingsfrom height and body fat to sexual satisfaction and the risk of having various infections. The studies tell us that penis size does matter, but not necessarily in the ways that you might think.

A huge Internet survey of more than 50,000 heterosexual men and women investigated penis size and satisfaction. In this survey, most men reported that they had an average-sized penis (66 percent), while 22 percent said their penis was large and 12 percent rated it as small. No actual penis sizes were measured, so this study relied only on what these men said about themselves. (Remember, they might not have the right idea about what an average penis size really is!) About half of the men (55 percent) were satisfied with their penis size, but 45 percent wanted to have a larger penis and 0.2 percent wanted to be smaller. In contrast, 85 percent of women reported being satisfied with their partners penis size. This suggests that size is less important to women, or that they are more likely to be satisfied with their partners penis size, than he is with his own size.

In this study, reporting that you had a big penis was linked to other body traits that are generally thought to be good. The self-reported penis size correlated positively with being taller and with having less body fat. The men reporting having larger penises also reported being more attractive. While some people might call that good luck or good geneswhatever it is that makes you both well-endowed and handsomethis finding could also reflect very confident individuals who think that everything about themselves is great, from how handsome they are to how big their penis is. This is one of those unexpected ways in which penis size might matter. How you see your penis might be correlated with how you see the rest of you.

Other studies have looked at how penis size, body shape, and height might be related to each other. Scientists have wondered whether evolution pushed these traits together because women might have considered all of them when they were considering their mating options. An evolutionary force might be at play if women were making their decisions about who to mate with based on whom they found the most attractive. If women found penis size very attractive, then women might be more likely to pick men with bigger penises, and then humans might be pushed toward having bigger and bigger penises.