Laura Dodsworth - Manhood: The Bare Reality

manhood:
the bare
reality

Inspirational

Inspirational: A mixture of Inspire and Rational, the thing about that is; once inspired, rational thinking goes out the window so with that in mind:

Can I cause you to follow a dream you had, to make you into a better version of your dad?

Will I make you take stock of your life to be a better wife?

What if my words lingered in your mind and in days you find yourself doing the right thing?

That you pick up that dusty instrument and start (again) to sing?

What if old passions were inflamed by my words and how they were framed?

Lets say I painted pictures with my words and you saw a farmer with a herd.

Are you going to leave your nine to five, pack your car, drive, drive and drive until you reach the countryside and when you get to somewhere quaint, unpack your car and paint?

Should what I say remind you of a time when you were free, will you quit your life as it is shouting IM NOT BEING ME!?

What if, in this little verse I said There is nothing worse than not following your dream.? Would your heart give a little scream at the memories of your youth, that halcyon summer spent in the DJs booth?

Would a flashback come to mind of when you used to write in rhyme?

That instrument you played, how did it get waylaid?

Did you invent a thing but didnt get a patent?

What dreams are in you but unfortunately latent?

I want to bring your passion to the fore so when you get home and go through your bathroom door, stand in front of the mirror, stare at your own face, smile and think about your place in this humdrum world, think about the universe through which youre being hurled, realise your strengths, confidence and slightly selfish part, notice the swelling of the good bit of your heart, focus all your energy on the best bits of you and really understand that you can be SUPERYOU!

Carl Chamberlain, Poet
One of the 100 men in Manhood: The Bare Reality

manhood:
the bare
reality

Laura Dodsworth

Manhood: the Bare Reality

First published in 2017 by Pinter & Martin Ltd

Text and images copyright Laura Dodsworth 2017

Laura Dodsworth has asserted her moral right to be identified as the author of this work in accordance with the copyright, designs and patents act of 1988.

All rights reserved.

ISBN 978-1-78066-425-5

Editor: Susan Last

Design: Blok Graphic, London

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British library.

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade and otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publishers prior consent in any form or binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser. The author and publisher disclaim, as far as the law allows, any liability arising directly or indirectly from the use, or misuse, of the information contained in this book.

Printed and bound in the EU by Hussar

Pinter & Martin Ltd

6 Effra Parade

London SW2 1PS

www.pinterandmartin.com

www.barereality.net

Contents

Please note that all the stories in Manhood are personal opinion. The views expressed are those of the contributors and are not endorsed by the creator or publisher. No book can replace the diagnostic expertise and medical advice of a trusted physician. Please consult your doctor before making any decisions that may affect your health, particularly if you suffer from any medical condition or have any symptom that may require treatment.

Foreword

Laura Dodsworth has photographed 100 penises and published them. It makes a lovely addition to the coffee table for when company drops by. Perhaps the kids would like a look?

And there you have it. Our nearly universal anxiety when confronted with what Dodsworth describes as something completely taboo. Namely, the male reproductive organ. But Dodsworths images arent the central focus of this book. The central focus of Dodsworths book is mens personal stories. Which brings us to more taboos of a different sort.

Men are are all the same, right? This idea underlies every story we have about men in bars, men at work, men on the street, men in marriages, men in love. Describe the fellow at the office who wont stop making awkward jokes about women, and we all nod our heads in agreement. Yeah, him.

But heres the challenge. The often ugly stereotypes we have about men flourish in the absence of more personal stories; in what is a near vacuum of any intimate understanding of actual mens lives. What do we ever hear of mens anxieties, fears, challenges, and secret joys? Men are daily policed and bullied to hide these stories because our culture enforces a version of manhood that is emotionally stoic, self reliant and unrelentingly self assured. We live in a culture where real men dont fail or cry and they sure as hell dont need any damn help.

Telling our stories is an act of giving and receiving help at the most basic human level. When we tell our stories of living, of our struggles, our joys and losses; healing and affirmation are granted to the teller and the listener, equally. But when generations of men are taught from a very early age to hide their private selves, their intimate stories, a narrative vacuum ensues. And as we all know, nature abhors a vacuum. So, mens stories are told for them, by the red headlines of rape and war, blood thirsty CEOs and power mad politicians; themes that rush in to take over the narrative, declaring men, in the collective silence, to be this or that, or the other.

We rightfully honor womens stories about their bodies, their journeys, their lives. The challenges women face in our garishly photoshopped world of unyielding abuse, violence and murder are spirit crushing. Women bravely telling their stories are acts of defiance and liberation.

But what of men? It turns out that images of penises are the perfect metaphor for mens most private selves, walled off from our collective awareness by shaming, held in check by our collective uncertainty about why we should give them our attention and for what possible purpose?

Refreshingly, you hold a book full of mens stories and mens bodies, their appetites, their joys, their insecurities and the path their lives take. One would have to assume that having your penis photographed keeps it top of mind. As such, these are quite surprising stories, refreshingly frank and honest observations, funny and sad.

By constructing her book in the way Dodsworth has, balancing straight forward images of mens penises against their winding complex stories, Dodsworth dares us to look. Which is an important pattern breaking moment, both personally and culturally. And when we do take that risk, when we do look, we discover not only the refreshing courage of each mans choice to be visible, but also the importance of acknowledging how vastly diverse men actually are.

Mark Greene
Senior Editor, The Good Men Project
Author, Remaking Manhood

Introduction

For two years I photographed and interviewed women about their breasts and in May 2015 Bare Reality: 100 women, their breasts, their stories was published. As I undertook this project I assumed my next project would continue to explore womens stories. Instead, after the book came out, I found myself drawn, perhaps compelled, to create an inner psychological and creative balance, and explore mens stories.

In recent years, Bare Reality and many more books, plays, films and art projects have allowed women to share their stories and reclaim their bodies, but penises remain the last taboo. Subject of exaggeration, source of pleasure, means to reproduce, cause of emotional anxiety, why dont men talk more about their penises? Its time to reveal mens thoughts and feelings and celebrate this important body part. Its time for