Cate Lawley - The Selection Shenanigans

The Selection Shenanigans

Cate Lawley

1. Lets Get Naked Equipment Check!

2. Good News, Bad News, or Fairy News?

3. Let the Ice Skating Commence

4. The Day Cupid Got High

5. When Star No Longer Shines

6. Every Womans Fairy Godmother

7. In the Absence of Sex Toys and Condoms

8. Antons Odor Offends

9. Feisty Fairies

10. Alchemic Arts and Crafts

11. Crazy Dog Lady Denial

12. Greedy Guts

13. The Arrogance of Youth

14. A Fiery Fairy

15. Baby Daddy

16. The Economy of Tattoos

17. Demons Arent Wild Animals

18. Ill Huff and Ill Puff

19. Demon Depossessing

20. Scolded by a Fairy

21. A Happy Hanky Bribe

22. Dinner Party Duds

23. A Numbers Game

24. A Deal With the Devil

25. Puppies and Apology Flowers

26. Get Out of My Head, Cornelius

About The Selection Shenanigans

Fairy farts and dragon tears

Not everything sparkles like it should, or so Mallory is beginning to suspect. Fairy godmothers should be all about light and love, not rule-breaking and political intrigue.

And dragons? Since when are dragons real? And who thought that was a good secret to keep from everyones favorite vegan vampire?

Mallory ditches a few more magical misconceptions as she, Alex, and her crew hunt down a murderer and try to save the Societys mayoral selection (not election) from imploding.

Lets Get Naked Equipment Check!

The morning started so well.

Gorgeous weather, good food. I was sucking down a mango smoothie that I hadnt lifted a finger to make.

Food made by others was the very best sort of food.

Wembley, my ex-Berserker roommate, was a complete softie. The bearded teddy bear loved feeding me, and since I loved almost all of the concoctions he whipped up, it worked out pretty darn well.

And Wembley would always be my teddy bear roommate, even if hed gotten all fit and ridiculously cut when he decided to date my mom. Ugh, Wembley and my mom. When she alluded to crazy shenanigans in the bedroom or to any of Wembleys physical attributes, I plugged my ears and sang the toddler tune. La-la-la-la wasnt quite enough to wash the images from my mind, but it sent a messagehere be dragonsand she changed the subject.

My brain could be a weird place, but it wasnt any great stretch for it to squirrel hop from Wembley to my mom to sex (ick!) to my own love life.

And thats when the morning took a turn for the worse.

Whats that look? Wembley asked. He sat across the kitchen table from me reading the paper and drinkingsomething.

Not blood.

Blood I could smell, even in small quantities. That came with being a vampire. I might be a broken, not-quite-right, possibly even mutated vamp, but I still met some of the criteria.

Vamps had no problem detecting blood; ditto for me.

I, unlike mostokay, allvamps, had a thing about blood. Some people liked to throw around the phobia word. Id disagree, but either way, I was working on it. For now, Wembley kept his blood stash in the garagehe definitely did not partake at the breakfast tableand I didnt ask too many questions about what he was consuming or where (who?) it came from.

Oh, now youve got to tell me. He waggled his eyebrows. Another aspect of my teddy bear roommate that had changed lately: his personal grooming habits. My mother would say for the better. His formerly shaggy eyebrows were now neatly trimmed, as was his beard.

I shrugged, because no, I didnt have to tell him. I didnt have to share every aspect of my life with himespecially not this particular aspect.

He discarded his newspaper. One hundred percent of Wembleys attention was not what I wanted right now.

Whoa. Say it isnt so. He leaned forward. Is there trouble in paradise?

As I sipped on Wembleys latest vegan shake concoctionthank you, mangos; thank you, coconut milk. Was that perhaps a touch of coconut cream, as well?I considered possible responses.

Alex and I werent having trouble.

Things were good.

Complicated, but good.

Steamy. Hot.

Frustrating.

No. I made a dismissive sound. Of course not. Please.

Maybe three varieties of denial had been overkill.

His blue eyes lit up. His rabid curiosity was probably partially due to the hole my mothers recent trip to the Bahamas had left in his schedule. A bored Wembley was an overly curious Wembley. Dont tell me the lovebirds have hit a snag? Except do tell me. Tell me everything.

What was that saying about protesting too much? Dang it. Three times was definitely too much.

Now that Wembley knew something was up between Alex and me, he wouldnt leave me alone until I spilled. Worse, he might withhold yummy shakes. I clutched my mango, coconut milk (maybe coconut cream) smoothie closer.

I liked my Wembley shakes.

Right. So heres the thing Ugh, I didnt want to share, but I wanted my shakesbut I didnt wanna share. I could feel my inner child surfacing, and that wasnt good for anyone.

He leaned his elbows on the table and then propped his chin on his hands. What trouble has naughty Alex gotten himself into?

Which made me laugh, because that was the problem.

Or rather, wasnt the problem?

I used to be convinced that my boyfriend had slept with the majority of the female enhanced population in Austin. Not true.

He did all things in moderation: food, exercise, sleep, even sex. Something to do with meeting basic needs and not being in a situation where he was weakened by illness or fatigue orI dont knowexcessive lust?

His motivations I understood. My man had some dark secrets that werent so secret from me, and his moderation in all things strategy was one of the ways he dealt with his troubled past.

But Alexs past wasnt the issue. It was Alexs present that was currently driving me slowly mad.

I groaned. I really dont think this is a topic we should discuss, Wembley.

Look, something is obviously bothering you. Dont let it fester. Talk to me, or better yet, talk to Alex.

Talk to Alex? Um, no. Even the thought made my stomach do all sorts of fluttery things. Bad fluttery things. The I-might-puke-if-I-think-about-this-much-longer kind of bad.

Small problem with the avoidance strategy, I was trying to be a grown-up these days. Taking on Society cases, saving peoples lives, revamping the wonky justice system that existed within the paranormal community.

What was a little direct conversation when compared to those big bad goals?

Wembley was right; speaking with Alex was the mature choice. I should get right on that.

And there went the fluttering.

Are you going to puke? Wembley asked. I swear theres nothing new in that shake.

Pfft. No. Of course Im not going to puke.

I also wasnt going to have this conversation with Alex, so We havent slept together.

Wembley blinked. Slowly.

As well he should. Alex and I had been together since late October, so over three months now.

And always one to babble when nerves hit me, I said, Weve cuddled, weve kissed. I feel like weve grown closer, but I shrugged.

But no nooky.

Ew. Dont use that word. My mom used that word, which was probably where Wembley had picked it up.

He grinned. Youre thinking about me having nooky with a certain family member, arent you, Ms. Andrews?