CHRISTY - How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton world: the art of living with style, class and grace

Copyright 2009 by Jordan Christy

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First eBook Edition: August 2009

ISBN: 978-1-599-95217-8

Girls can be stupid. Becky Christy

I t would be naive to think we could ever again have a woman exactly identical to Jackie O., Audrey Hepburn, or Mother Teresa; we live in a different world now, and like my mom says, It was a simpler time then. We dont typically gather the family around the transistor radio anymore or get asked to go steady by a Wally Cleaver, but just because were surrounded by BlackBerrys, miniskirts, and The Real World doesnt mean we cant take some of those graceful, sophisticated, old-fashioned values and implement them in our everyday, modern-girl lives. Lets be honest: our current female landscape is embarrassing, flippant, and shallow. We need to start representing a new type of It Girla successful, stylish, smart girl who still maintains classic ideals and values. Is that possible, you ask? Yes. Yes! YES!

My mother is a very wise, beautiful, and funny woman. Over the years, she has taught my sister and me invaluable life lessons and passed along nuggets of wisdom, such as, Dont stick any knives in the toaster while Im gone. One of her most comical and ingenious statements came a few years back when I was home from college, rambling about how I had found there were very few girls I actually wanted to hang out withit seemed to me that, in general, the majority of our gender were capable of only superficial attitudes, boy-obsessed rants, and dumbed-down speech. In response to my tirade, she accurately and simply summed up my sentiments, saying, Well, girls can be stupid.

I think its safe to say we all know a Stupid Girl or two. Theyre tossing their hair by the water cooler at the office, theyre sporting silky thongs with low-rise pants in the grocery line, and theres at least one in every good reality show. They crash their BMWs in Hollywood, excessively use the word like, and drape themselves all over the nearest male. Theyre obnoxious and, for some reason, always the center of attention. Why? Because smart, classy, and successful ladies slots on the local news have been supplanted by a play-by-play of Pariss clinkworthy antics and Lindsay Lohans spiral into rehab. Even when the limelight finally shifts away from one Stupid Girl it only shines on another one who is all too willing to sell her self-respect for a little free publicity. Our girl-world has become saturated with fishnet hose and unflattering f-bombs, and thanks to the vicious media cycle of contagious celebrity gossip and endless barrage of Girls Gone Wild horror stories, it appears as though the majority of our female generation is being represented by a couple of skinny airheads out in LA.

I think we can agree that while most of us dont even begin to consider those girls to be accurate representations of our kind, much less role models, it is somewhat vexing that they dominate the headlines day in and day out. Clearly, scandals sell, and these girls certainly provide more than enough fodder for news outlets, so while they may not have one valid exploit or commendable achievement to claim, they are definitely making someone a whole lot of money. Before the Stupids came to power, gossip rags had to resort to Four-Headed Alien Baby and Polka-Dotted UFO Sighting headlines, but these girls have eliminated the need for fabricated newstheir exploits are ridiculous enough to sell millions of glossy tabloids every week! And thanks to our cultures reality-TV-induced obsession with drama and incessant need for water-cooler small talk, we continue to put these girls in the spotlight by engaging in the round-and-round cycle of celebrity gossip and constant enthrallment with shallow, scandalous news. Even if we balk at their actions and roll our eyes at their lewd behavior, the ad dollars keep cha-chinging while their scandalous outings keep them in our faces 24/7. Its hard not to participate in discourse about their conduct, but if we want to begin cultivating a culture of class, style, and grace, well have to stop focusing on the Stupid Girl captions and start making our own Smart Girl headlines.

Theres no getting around it, my mom was absolutely right: girls can be stupid. Pinks commentary on this current mindless epidemic in her hit song Stupid Girls is all too perfect. She has said in response to the controversy over the video, in which she portrays celebrities such as Jessica Simpson, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton doing everything from shopping and tanning to awaiting cosmetic surgery and just being painfully thin, Smart and sexy are not oil and water, and she explains the song title: My definition of stupid is wasting your opportunity to be yourself. So many girls are indeed wasting their opportunity. We live in a free country with rights, freedoms, and opportunities that women would have killed for a hundred years agoand instead of voting, getting the CEO spot, going for a doctorate, or volunteering at a womens shelter, many young women today are too busy shaking their badonkadonks in short-lived music videos and diligently bedazzling their cell phones with more pink rhinestones.

Even more sadly, our society has placed girls like this on a reality-television pedestal and kicked classy and well-spoken ladies to the curb. Think about it. Have you ever heard of Nancy Alcorn and her international organization that freely houses thousands of at-risk females? Or Cathleen Black, the First Lady of American Magazines and one of Forbess 100 Most Powerful Women? What about Sarah Rattys groundbreaking eco-conscious clothing line, Ciel? Of course not! Lets face itits high time some extraordinary young women brought self-respect, intelligence, and true beauty back to the female gender.

Do you remember your first encounter with a Stupid Girl? Ah, what an unforgettable moment. The first Stupid Girls I recall meeting were Mandy and Heidi in my seventh-grade class (names have been changed to protect the ignorant). When they werent busy making out with the better half of the JV basketball team, they would start malicious rumors, rip off the smart kids essays, and periodically banish core members from their exclusive cliqueall while proudly displaying their junior high goods in the tightest Abercrombie shirts money could buy. Their demure and tactful sides would particularly shine through during any event or rally that required the ascent of bleachers, and I specifically remember hearing about the classiness of the weekend that they discovered Pabst Blue Ribbon. They were your classic Stupid Girls.

Now, I was perfectly content flipping through Delias catalogs, listening to Bruce Hornsby and The Joshua Tree, and writing amateur pop songs on my keyboard after school every day, so I never really got the appeal of the Stupid Girls. I remember noting all of their antics with mild amusement and silently wondering what on earth they would turn out like as adults, but I cant honestly say that their whole shtick appealed to me. In fact, it actually revolted me more than anything and eventually became my catalyst for trying to represent a different type of young femalea successful, smart, stylish girl who didnt give away all her dignity. When given the choice to go out boozing or stay home and watch