Christy Wright - Living True: 40 Days to Get Back to You

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ISBN: 978-1-9421-2116-9

Editors: Jennifer Day and Rachel Knapp

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I m really uncomfortable right now, but lets face it, Im really uncomfortable a lot these days. Its not a cause for concern and, actually, its completely normal. As I write this, I have a baby girl being formed in my ever-growing belly. Shes relocating my organs, squishing my lungs, and compressing my blood vessels. It sounds crazy, of course, but its all completely normal.

Heres the thing, though: I dont feel normal. I am so unbelievably grateful to be pregnant. Its not lost on me what an amazing gift that is. And at the same time, I dont feel like myself.

This is my third baby, and youd think Id be able to roll with it by now. But when your body is doing new, weird (and often unattractive) things every single day, and you feel like you have no control over what you can and cant do, its hard to get used toregardless of how many times youve been through it.

And dont get me started on the feelings. Im feeling overwhelmed and excited and nervous and, lets be honest, a little crazy. Im feeling so grateful and uncomfortable and frustratedand then I feel guilty for feeling uncomfortable and frustrated. I have so many feelings that even my feelings have feelings!

The bottom line is this: I dont feel like myself.

This is one of the many times in my life that Ive not felt like myself.

I also didnt feel like myself when I was working eighty hours a week at a nonprofitpouring myself into my career right after graduating college.

I didnt feel like myself when I was single in my twentiestrying to figure out who I was when everyone around me seemed to be the exact thing that I wasnt: married.

I didnt feel like myself when I volunteered to speak to college students all over the country when Id never spoken publicly in my lifetrying something new and terrifying and feeling like a complete fraud.

I havent felt like myself countless times since my first son, Carter, and then my second son, Conley, were bornlosing myself in my role as their mom like so many of us do.

Ive lost myself in my work, my relationships, my goals, and in different seasons of life.

And all I wanted anytime that happened was one thing: to simply get back to me.

Get back to me. Those words were always the words I felt. I dont even know if I knew what that meant, but in different moments of desperation, I knew I wanted it. I knew I needed it. There was something I was missing and thirsting for.

Those are also the words Ive heard from thousands of women across this country as Ive spent time speaking, coaching, and visiting with them over the last ten years. I just want to get back to me. I feel like Ive lost myself. I dont know who I am anymore. I feel stuck. They say it in different ways again and again.

Maybe youve been there before and maybe youre there now. Maybe theres a part of you that feels lostor at least pushed to the back corner of your life collecting dust. Maybe youre overwhelmed or unfulfilled or both. Maybe youre so busy you dont even know who you are or how you feel because youre just trying to keep your head above water. Maybe youve felt limited by labels others have given you, or more commonly, labels youve unconsciously given yourself. Maybe youre feeling lost in life or maybe youre just plain tired. Ive been in all of those places. I still find myself there at times.