Lustig - 4 Steps to Financial Security for Lesbian and Gay Couples

Praise forFour Steps to Financial Security for
Lesbian and Gay Couples

Harold Lustig gives us the financial strategies we need to overcome the many ways lesbian and gay couples are unfairly treated under the laws.

T HE H ONORABLE C AROLE M IGDEN
California State Assembly

In my work with thousands of lesbian and gay couples, I have found finances to be a leading cause of death of happy relationships. This book is a source we have long needed and can use.

R EV . M ICHAEL S. P IAZZA
Senior pastor, Cathedral of Hope, Dallas

Understanding insurance, financial matters, and estate planning issues are critical to basic security for most lesbian and gay couples. Four Steps to Financial Security offers simple advice and suggests important steps that most couples can take to protect each other, obtain financial security, and rest a little easier.

K ATE K ENDELL
Executive director, National Center for Lesbian Rights

At long last, money advice we can actually use! Four Steps is the only personal finance book a gay family needs.

P AULA L ANGGUTH R YAN
Prosperity advisor and author of BOUNCE BACK FROM BANKRUPTCY

A Fawcett Book
Published by The Ballantine Publishing Group

Copyright 1999 by Harold L. Lustig
Foreword copyright 1999 by Kelly Bonnevie

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. Published in the United States by The Ballantine Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York, and simultaneously in Canada by Random House of Canada Limited, Toronto.

Grateful acknowledgment is made to Henry Holt and Company, Inc. for permission to reprint an excerpt from Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening from The Poetry of Robert Frost, edited by Edward Connery Lathem. Copyright 1951 by Robert Frost. Copyright 1923, 1969 by Henry Holt and Company. Reprinted by permission of Henry Holt and Company, Inc.

Fawcett is a registered trademark and the Fawcett colophon is a trademark of
Random House, Inc.

www.randomhouse.com/BB/

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Lustig, Harold L.

Four steps to financial security for lesbian and gay couples/Harold L. Lustig

p. cm.

eISBN: 978-0-307-77600-6

1. Gay menFinance, Personal. 2. LesbiansFinance, Personal.

3. Unmarried couplesFinance, Personal. I. Title.
HG179.L87 1999
332.0240664dc21 98-45371

v3.1

TO ALEX AND STEPHANIE,
MY PARENTS,
FOR LIFES RICHES YOU HAVE GIVEN ME.

This book wouldnt have been possible without the support and willingness of many friends in the gay and lesbian community and from the financial and legal professions.

First, I would like to express my gratitude to Metropolitan Community Church for welcoming this nice Jewish boy from Manhattan into your arms and introducing me to the gay community in San Francisco. If it werent for the Sunday evening Gospel and Praise services on Eureka Street, I would still be living a sheltered life and this book might never have been written.

Without the guidance and enthusiasm of my agent, Mike Larsen, this book would still be just a great idea. Mikes own wonderful book, How to Write a Book Proposal, was an immense help to me.

Maria Duerr, my editor, worked with me on every word in every chapter to ensure that the book would be accessible and enjoyable.

Tax laws seem to change as quickly as the page turns. Larry Pon, CPA, guided me through the income tax law maze and read every chapter. Bobby Schneider, CLU, ChFC, also read every chapter and made sure my insurance and estate law facts were correct.

I want to thank Kate Kendell at the National Center for Lesbian Rights for her willingness to support this project and review what I had written, and for introducing me to her friends around the country. I am also indebted to Shannon Minter at NCLR and Betsy Johnsen at AIDS Legal Referral Panel in San Francisco for their time and help.

Considering how little time all of us have to spare, I want to thank Elizabeth Ann Bird, Jack Teeters, Emily Doskow, David Gellman, Fred Hertz, Suzanne Marelius, Michelle Zavos, Jeanine Pow, Kelly Bonnevie, Cheryl Dalton, Moira Leigh, Rebecca Covell, Laura Gray, Randy Knepper, and Bill Young for their help with the legal issues.

When it came to charitable trusts and the more sophisticated end of estate planning, Myron Greenberg, Phil Temple, and Robert Margetic provided invaluable assistance.

I want to acknowledge Joe Re at Octameron Associates for his help on the section about financing childrens education.

Social Security rules and regulations have always baffled me; Dan Fortuno, formerly at AIDS Benefits Counselors in San Francisco, and Phil Curtis at AIDS Project of Los Angeles helped me see the light.

Mike Crifasi, Max Brougher, Lori Novy, Bernita Lipsey-Watson, Margaret Murphy, Albert Browning, and Dick Gariepy provided insights and help on the different insurance areas.

I want to thank Jacque Chambers at the AIDS Project of Los Angeles, Kym Hopwood, and Jackie and Jim Spahr for helping me understand the rules in managing the high cost of health care.

In the area of bankruptcy and credit repair, I couldnt have done it without Martha Simon, Paula Langguth Ryan, Angela Valenti-Romeo, and Robert Burns.

Deborah Rhoades, Scott Wilbanks, and Gloria Grening Wolk provided information on viatical settlements.

Nancy Veith and Patricia C. Drivanos, CFP, lent their expertise in the area of estate planning for people with short life expectancies.

Many people served as readers and told me what wasnt clear. I would like to thank Deborah Behrens, Kathy Erion, Keith Millay, Chuck Cole, Susan Cain, Christine Kongol, Susan Ellis, Anne Krivellis, Jo Mitchell, Fern Leaf, Judy and Kim Moon-Moore, Roger Moore, Kevin Schaub, Jackie Sutton, and Elizabeth Fernloff for their enthusiasm and support.

I am just beginning to understand that the process of writing a book is like having a third partner in a relationship. I would like to thank my wife, Rindy, for her understanding and acceptance of all the time I spent with the computer and this book instead of with her.

And last but not least, I want to thank my clients, who saw me through this project and shared their lives with me. Thank you for all that I have learned in working with youthis is really your book.

(Founding partner and litigator at the Boston area law firm of Wilson, Marino & Bonnevie, P.C., Ms. Bonnevie has litigated a number of high-profile cases where issues relating to sexual orientation were involved.)

I hope reading this book scares you. By this I mean that I hope Harold Lustigs stories scare you into taking steps to protect yourself and your loved ones. Those of us in the legal and financial professions who work with gay men and lesbians have horror stories to tell; some of mine even appear in this book. Despite the progress the gay and lesbian community has made in recent years, there are still areas where the courts and the laws dont protect us in the same way they protect other people.

The good news is that with some forethought and planning you can ensure that your wishes are respected with regard to what happens to your home, your bank accounts, and even your body in the event of illness or death. As Harold Lustig so clearly puts it, there are ways to protect yourself when the law doesnt. Unfortunately, many gay men and lesbians dont take those steps, whether out of fear, confusion, or sheer inertia. The consequences, as you will read, can be tragic.