Ma - The vampire combat manual: a guide to fighting the bloodthirsty undead

THE
VAMPIRE
COMBAT
MANUAL

THE
VAMPIRE
COMBAT
MANUAL

A Guide to Fighting
the Bloodthirsty Undead

ROGER MA

ILLUSTRATIONS BY KURT MILLER

BERKLEY BOOKS, NEW YORK

THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP

Published by the Penguin Group

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This book is an original publication of The Berkley Publishing Group.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

Copyright 2012 by Roger Ma.

Cover design by Diana Kolsky.

Cover illustrations and Vampire Combat Club logo by Kurt Miller.

Interior illustrations by Kurt Miller.

Text design by Georgia Rucker.

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the authors rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

BERKLEY is a registered trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

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PUBLISHING HISTORY

Berkley trade paperback edition / October 2012

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Ma, Roger.

The vampire combat manual : a guide to fighting the bloodthirsty undead / Roger Ma.

p. cm.

ISBN: 978-1-101-61167-8

1. Vampires. I. Title.

GR830.V3M17 2012

398.21dc23

2012011585

PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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ALWAYS LEARNING

PEARSON

To Zoe, Logan, and Jonas, who will never have to fear the night

WARNING

The conditioning routines, nutritional recommendations, and fighting techniques contained within this manual are meant to maximize your effectiveness in combat, specifically against the vampire species. Proceed with caution with the information provided, and always consult your physician before commencing any type of training regimen, particularly ones designed to protect you from the undead.

Y ou are being hunted. Maybe not today, or this month. Perhaps not even this year. If you plan on living an existence outside of your primary residence once the sun sinks past the horizon, however, it is likely that you will be the target of a predator far more powerful than yourself. Since the dawn of civilization, the human race has taken solace in its perception of being at the apex of the ecological pyramid: the dominant species on planet Earth. Sadly, this is not the case. Most of the general populace is unaware of the fact that another species has usurped our position of supremacy. Sanguinem potantes, drinkers of blood, otherwise known as the vampire. Unfortunately for us, these creatures are as effective as we are at hunting species lower on the food chain.

The original intent of this text was quite simple. As an investigative researcher, I was contracted by IUCS, a global bioresearch firm with whom I have worked in the past, to explore and document the efforts of the Blood Assassins, an organization renowned as much for its secrecy as for its skill in neutralizing the vampire threat. My objective was to locate and interview willing members, detail their motivations, and chronicle their unique approach toward this adversary for the public. Should you be one of my funding patrons reading this work solely based upon that initial premise, allow me to save you the time and report that, in regard to my previously stated objective, I have been unsuccessful.

As in many quests, however, the journey often proves more valuable than the destination. In my efforts to complete this assignment, I have discovered a stark reality: Our existence on this planet rests on delicate threads, far more fragile and tenuous than ever imagined. I have also uncovered a global threat that, left unchecked, may cause the downfall of humanity as we know it. It was imperative to me that, despite being unable to track down this specific organization, I provide the everyday citizen with the combative information gleaned from my research in order to survive a vampire attack.

Throughout this investigative journey, I have also learned that the greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, but misinformation. An ignorant individual can improve upon his lack of knowledge; a misinformed one acts upon and spreads misinformation to others, often with tragic consequences. In daily life, these inaccuracies may result in embarrassment, awkwardness, or slight humiliation. In vampire combat, these falsehoods can result in injury, death, or, as Ive learned, a fate much worse. The research conducted and techniques provided in this manual have a singular purpose: to draw back the curtain on decades of propaganda and focus a light on the proper methods to survive an undead attack with your blood supply intact.

This work, however, is not intended to be a treatise that transforms you into a self-styled vampire hunter. Hunting, by definition, is conducted by creatures higher on the food chain, targeting prey that is smaller, weaker, and more vulnerable to attack. In comparison to vampires, Homo sapiens fall into the latter class. Only those with the highest degree of skill, experienceor stupiditywould willingly seek out these encounters.

Why then create such a manual, if not to take the fight to the enemy? During a vampire attack, most individuals will face off against a stronger, faster, and more agile opponent. Firearms are largely ineffective against this particular adversary. Long-range weaponry requires a high degree of skill possessed by only a select few. Thus, there is no question that when confronted by a vampire, you