To all of us on this journey, working toward a healthier life and happier heart, we are in this together.
I hope you all believe in yourselves every step of the way. Know that every day is another opportunity to keep trying. Work hard and know youre worth it.
Lets create our best versions of ourselves, and the best versions of our ballerina bodies.
I spend countless hours at airports, particularly in the winter and summer months when American Ballet Theatre is on the road. While Im waiting for the moment when its finally time to board, Ill often stroll over to a newsstand and finger through the entertainment and fashion magazines lining the racks and shelves.
Cosmopolitan. Essence. Self. Peel back the covers and you can immerse yourself in worlds of beauty, fitness, and luxury. There are how-tos and what-fors; tips, diets, and schedules; an array of glossy blueprints that guide women on a path to a feminine ideal they are supposed to be striving for.
Without fail, the models or actresses who are featured are gorgeous, with luminous skin and lean physiques. When I was a young, nave dancer, new to ABT and seeking my way, I was influenced and affected by those images. In my mind, I felt that this was what beauty was and I had to meet that standard. I struggled to figure out how I could maintain a healthy diet and lifestyle, not just on those days when I would be dining on room service, but also once I returned home to New York City.
I may have been an athlete, living in one of the worlds most glamorous cities, but I had no nutritionist on speed dial, no extra money to hire a chef to prepare healthy meals. And while I was being taught the art of ballet daily, I wasnt getting the specific instruction I needed to keep every part of my body in peak shape.
Id flip to the interviews in the magazine, searching for advice, eager to learn the featured celebritys secrets. When asked how she stayed so taut, so fit, her answers would often be a riff on the same refrain. I drink a lot of water! I get a lot of sleep! This is just me!
To the young, insecure woman I was then, that explanation seemed impossibly simple. As the woman I have become, I know such advice makes up pieces of the puzzle, but its hardly the whole solution. In recent years, I have had the honor of appearing in several magazines myself, and when reporters ask me what its like to dance with one of the most prestigious ballet companies in the world, or what I eat to power through my regimen, or to stay strong and svelte, you know what I tell them? The truth.
None of it was easy. Not my climb in the ballet world, not my arrival at a place of personal contentment and peace, not my journey to the body I stand in.
When I was a child, my family often had little money, and we had to eat whatever we could afford. I used to love corn chips doused with hot sauce and glow-in-the-dark cheese squeezed out of a bottle.
Even after Id become a dancer with ABT, putting my body through the rigors of dancing eight hours a day, five days a week, my body still craved meals that were heavy on the carbs because that was all it knew. And when my body bloomed in my late teens and I no longer fit the old-fashioned, pixie-like ballet ideal, Id try to escape my frustration by diving into a box of sweets. I would eat every biteand hate myself in the morning. In short, I understand the temptations, pressures, and frustrations of the real world.
I was an ordinary young woman, trying to determine what was best for my body, my health, my spirit, mostly on my own. Slowly, by experimenting, by adding cross-training to my schedule and tweaking my diet, I began to figure it out. I found what worked for me by trial and error. I learned that I couldnt do cardio that had weight training or too much resistance on the machines. I realized how to burn calories without adding bulk to my frame, and I discovered which cross-training helped me to strengthen my core and lengthen my muscles in a way that would not just benefit the structure of my body, but make me a stronger dancer as well. I discovered which foods gave me the fuel that my body needed after expending as much energy as I do every day.
I devised a plan for how to eat so that I could keep my body lean and powerful, and I realized that dietary discipline doesnt have to mean deprivation. Now I want to share all that Ive learned with you.
Ive always been a dreamer, and I am thankful that a lot of my dreams have come true, from becoming a professional ballet dancer to becoming the first African American principal ballerina in the history of American Ballet Theatre. Now I dream of sharing what Ive learnedof showing women everywhere how to reach their body goals and achieve what they see as their best selvesusing a ballerina body as the basis: one that is lean but sinewy, with muscles that are long, sculpted, and toned.