Orr - Lean out: the truth about women, power, and the workplace

PRAISE FOR LEAN OUT

Marissas refreshing voice about systemic cognitive bias and the mental limitations holding women backwhile supporting malenessrings true with well-researched, commonsense insights that speak to the experiences of women in corporate America. Marissa is right about female traits like empathy, honesty, listening, and relationship competency being undervalued. Her candor and experiences in two tech-world giants are grounding, as they present scenarios and characters from across todays corporate environments.

Energized while reading Lean Out, I found myself repeatedly saying, YES, thats right! Marissa is spot-on as she pulls the covers off how the game is played.

The ideas presented here for driving change are powerful, clear, and actionable. This book is a must read for insights on the impact that reversing systemic gender biases can have on creating more diverse, healthier workplaces for both women and men.

Joanne Harell, Senior Director, USA Citizenship, Microsoft

For the first time in a long time, I finally read a book that states clear facts around the gender issues, with sound research backing the assumptions, in a simple way for men and women to comprehend. This book should be read by leaders of all types, as it provides a fresh perspective on valuing oneself without shame or blame, while preparing the reader for the corporate ladder.

Dr. Betty Uribe, Executive Vice President, California Bank & Trust and author of #Values: The Secret to Top Level Performance in Business and Life

Lean Out is a highly readable book that has leaned in and listened to manyand maybe the majority ofwomen in the workplace. Many, many women will proclaim, Finally, an honest book that gets me, who I am, where I am, where Im trying to get to, and the myriad of roadblocks stopping me. If youre a working woman, read it to feel validated and less alone and uplifted in your struggle.

Mark Goulston, author of Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

This book will make you think differently about what it will take for women to succeed in American business, by exploding myth after myth with cogent arguments and simple common sense.

Rishad Tobaccowala, Chief Growth Officer, Publicis Groupe

Lean Out spoke directly to my corporate experience. In fact, I left my tech career because I felt I couldnt be nice and still get ahead. I wish I had the clarity I found in Lean Out earlier in my career. This book is a game changer and a must read for every young woman (and man) starting their career.

Ali Spain, Executive Director, Microsoft Alumni Network

Marissa Orrs Lean Out is the natural complement to Sheryl Sandbergs Lean In. Real, honest, and practical, Orrs wisdom empowers readers in both their career paths and personal lives to find significant meaning and well-being in all they do and achieve. No job may be great enough for the human spirit, but Orr reframes the perspective of success to alter our perception of what really matters. A brilliant addition to the library of talent development and diversity and inclusion and why twenty-first-century business cant survive without them.

Paul Falcone, author, 101 Tough Conversations to Have with Employees

Copyright 2019 by Marissa Orr

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be used or reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published by HarperCollins Leadership, an imprint of HarperCollins Focus LLC.

Any internet addresses, phone numbers, or company or product information printed in this book are offered as a resource and are not intended in any way to be or to imply an endorsement by HarperCollins Leadership, nor does HarperCollins Leadership vouch for the existence, content, or services of these sites, phone numbers, companies, or products beyond the life of this book.

Epub Edition April 2019 9781595557759

ISBN 9781595557759 (eBook)

ISBN 9781595557568 (HC)

ISBN 9781400216048 (ITPE)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019934279

Printed in the United States of America

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Information about External Hyperlinks in this ebook

Please note that endnotes in this ebook may contain hyperlinks to external websites as part of bibliographic citations. These hyperlinks have not been activated by the publisher, who cannot verify the accuracy of these links beyond the date of publication.

For my parents, whose unconditional love has given

me the courage to think for myself, out loud.

Contents

This is a work of nonfiction. The events and experiences detailed are all true and have been faithfully rendered as I remember them, to the best of my ability. Though conversations come from my keen recollection of them, they are not written to represent word-for-word documentation; rather, Ive retold them in a way that evokes what was said, in keeping with the nature and character of the events. I have also changed the names and identifying characteristics of my colleagues, as well as the names and features of the projects I worked on, in order to protect individuals privacy and to avoid the possible disclosure of confidential information.

On a Sunday afternoon in March 2016, I hit Send on an email to Sheryl Sandberg, setting in motion a series of events that ended eighteen months later, when I was fired from my job at Facebook.

To explain, I first need to go back to the fall of 2014, which was my eleventh year working at Google. At the time, the company was organizing a spate of thought-leadership and training programs aimed at helping their female employees succeed. Ive always been passionate about helping women, so naturally I got very involved in these efforts and attended everything Google offered on the topic. But after a while, I became disenchanted. The discussions never seemed to be real or honest, and they lacked any sort of practical application to our daily lives.

I decided to write my own perspective on the topic, and a month later, I was in a small conference room, delivering the presentation to a handful of women, most of whom were my close friends. Over time, however, more women showed up, and it grew from one presentation into a series of lectures I presented at other companies and even a few colleges across New York City. By the middle of 2015, Id presented to more than a thousand people, and this little side project was bringing significant meaning into my life. And it was right around this time that I got the call from Facebook.

Until then, Id never considered leaving Google. Although there were ups and downs, as with any job, for the most part I was happy, and my friends there were like family. But the more I talked to Facebook, the more it seemed like a perfect move. Less than half the size of Google, it was growing fast, with plenty of opportunities to work on exciting projects. And above all, this was the birthplace of Lean In. Would anywhere else on earth be more likely to support my work on the womens leadership series?

As a single mom of three kids, I did have a lot of important things to consider before making such a big change. Being rash and impulsive, I disregarded most of them. This was Facebook. Obviously, they would understand and support my need for flexibility. Besides, nothing was going to crush my fangirl dreams of being discovered by Sheryl Sandberg, who, blown away by my brilliance and passion for helping women, would give me a one-way ticket out of my day job. I started at Facebook in February 2016, eager, optimistic, and blissfully unaware of the downward spiral in which I was about to step.