Table of Contents
Time & Inspiration:
Bajema, Shields, Vega, Selby, Mitch Bury of Adams Mass.
JOE COLE 4.10.61 - 12.19.91
MEKANIK
Why do they call you the Mekanik? Because of the way I do things. Like the way in which I beat off. I employ smooth pulls, clean strokes, workman-like. Im not here to enjoy myself. I dont feel the orgasm that I have. Theres no expression on my face when it happens. No thoughts go through my head. I fantasize about empty space. I do everything mekanikally. I find the flaws in your structure and move in. I watch, listen and take down information mekanikally. I hate you piece by piecemekanikally. Everything I do is methodical and premeditated. I never act on impulse. I dont believe in the idea that anything happens by chance.Theresareason for everything that happens. When you say you didnt mean to say something after its come out of your mouth, you know you meant it.Youre just too afraid to admit it. Before I take action, I consider everything you might do, anything you might say, any guilt or morality play that you might use on me or yourself. I am always several steps ahead of you. I am the Mekanik. I crush lies like a steel-toed boot crushesa rosebud or a childs skull. I watch you self destruct. You mutilate each other with your emotional displays and superhuman dramas. You are your own worst enemy. I am devoid of emotion. Satisfaction is nonexistent in my world. I am the Mekanik. I am a pure survival species. Your bullshit means nothing to me. You hear all the shit I say. You think I made any of this up? No. I just vomit the words and attitudes that I have gotten from you and let you deal with yourselves. I didnt make up all the stupid lines men use on women so they can mate.Thats all it is. Its mating. Its all you think about. You talk so much about making love, sexism and all this other shit. Its just mating, reproduction. Youre just farm animals, more disgusting than most. I play you like a fucking deck of cards. You are a walking button pad. I can push them all. I can disgust you. I can say all the things that you want to but don t because youre afraid of someone finding out how you really are. You dont want anyone to label you with any of those bad little judgmental names. You have so many of them. You make them up because you live in fucked up cities and you dont have lives. Homophobe, sexist, racist, feminist, macho shithead, castrating bitch. Youve got a ton of them. Its all about mating. Look at all the decoration that you put on an act thats as common as eating and sleeping. Enter the Mekanik. Ill give it to you until you cant take it anymore. Until you cant take yourself anymore. Thats why they call me the Mekanik. Civilization has turned you into desperate animals in pain. The following is a sampling of your soundtrack.
Assault and flattery. He wouldnt stop staring at my breasts. He kept trying to talk to me and all the time he was just looking at my chest. I felt like I was getting molested standing right there in line at the bank. He was asking me all these stupid questions and he wasnt even listening to the answers. I excused myself and went home. I guess Ill go to the bank next week. Now I want to kill him. Im used to getting stared at, but this was the worst. I actually was scared for a minute. The way he spoke was really creepy. He kept repeating the last few words of everything I would say, and hed do it really slow. I cant believe I gave him my number. He just asked for it and before I thought of saying no, I had given it to him. l didnt want to be rude. He kept repeating it and saying, Alright 392-9689. Well get together, alright. Excellent.
I cant see how you got that gerbil up there. Hey you! Hey fat fuck, Im talking to you. Hey pus gut! What the fuck are you packing in there? You must take some big shits you fat slug. I bet you can hardly find it to jerk it off. With all that fat, do you ever get fucked? Does anyone want to fuck you with all that fat on your bones? Your cars shocks probably hate your fat guts. Me and the boys should melt you down for lamp oil. Ok, your burgers ready. You want fries with that?
I like Styx, Boston, Kansas, all that shit. I threw up on the plane. I had never done that before. I didnt think I was going to and I wasnt ready for it. I vomited onto my legs and onto the floor. The flight attendant must have heard all the people yelling and seen all the shit they were throwing at me. She came over and started yelling at me really loud. Why the fuck did you barf on yourself you piece of shit? It was so embarrassing! While this was happening, the fasten seatbeltsign came on and the plane started to bounce and rock violently. A man who was sitting a few rows ahead of me told the flight attendant that the smell was making him sick and that he was going to puke himself if she didnt get rid of it. He said that he was going to beat the shit out of me when we landed. He kept looking back at me, pointing at me and hitting himself in the nose with his fist. I guess thats what he was going to do to me when we got off the plane. He told the flight attendant that this was his first vacation in years and I was ruining it with my puke. The flight attendant went away for a few minutes. She came back with a rag and spat on me and told me to clean it up. She said that the pilot had called down to the ground and there would be police to meet the plane and that I would be arrested and probably given the electric chairTexas law and all.
Do that promo! I shoved three CDs up my ass and got them out of Tower Records. It hurt like hell but I did it. New Bolton, new Sting and the Best of Hagar. Totally painful. Definitely worth it.
Condoms from all ports. It seemed there was nothing I could do to make her like me. For weeks Itried. All the time, she was trying to be cool to me and trying to hint that she wasnt interested in me. I couldnt stop. Pretty soon I was no longer interested in her. But the fact that she didnt want me made me mad and more determined to try. It became a test of my will. Finally I broke her like a rancher breaks a horse. Now I cant get her off my back. She calls me all the time and she wants all this commitment out of me. I cant get into it because you know, Im a swinginkind of guy. Hey, whoa, yeah.
I collect samples of strangers spit. She yelled at him, You fucked her, you fucker! He walked out of the room muttering to himself. What the fuck did you say? she yelled. I said that Im unhappy. Im unhappy in this place. She started to cry and stamp her feet. How dare you be unhappy! she screamed. Now Im unhappy and upset, he said. She threw a shoe at him. It hit him in the lip and he started to bleed. Now Im unhappy, upset and bleeding. He walked into the kitchen, grabbed a small kitchen knife and stabbed her in the arm. They drove to the hospital. When they got out of there, they had found that a nuclear bomb had been dropped a few cities from their house making the neighborhood more dangerous than usual. They spent the next thirty years at a Best Western hotel down the road. They had three children who all grew up to be murderers in the great American tradition.
Thats right. We do pizzasandbrain surgery. Hold still! Her eyes. I cant stop thinking about her eyes. Her face, her arms, her breasts pressing against my chest. I cant get her out of my head.
Now I see why tigers eat their young.
