Rosenthal - Marijuana Growers Handbook

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by TOMMY CHONG

A ll my close friends are pot heads! And one of my close friends is not only a pot head he is the expert pot grower who holds the distinction of turning more people on to pot than Cheech and Chong.

I am talking about Ed Rosenthal, the pot-growing gardener whose Ask Ed column has helped keep the DEA busy chasing down the few hundred thousand or so pot gardens currently growing all over America. And not only is Ed a great gardener, he is also a great revolutionary, an anti-establishment hippie who likes to wear weird clothes and out the corrupt Federal officials who insist on enforcing Americas sadly outdated drug laws.

When I first met Ed, he was facing 10 years in Federal prison for doing pretty much what he has been doing for the past 30 or so yearsgrowing pot. The Feds insisted Ed broke the law, and Ed would agree with themand then explain, Its a terrible law! Ed is also a writer of books, an occupation I have just recently been exposed to. Eds books are treated pretty much like the pot bible when it comes to combatting disease, thieves, and other pests that could waste an entire growing cycle. This is another reason why I admire and respect this man. Writing is hard; comedy is easy.

Writing is like masturbating when you have just masturbated. Its not fun. But it has to be done, or else people would not have anything to read while they sit on the toilet.

Now, notice how I headed right into the toilet when I called myself a writer? There must be a reason for that, eh? No, I am being modest about my talent as a writer but for good reasons, on the other hand, however (now I just made, what, three mistakes in this last sentence?), Ed is a writer. He is an excellent writer of how to do anything concerning pot. How to grow it. How to hide it. How to care for it. How to smoke it. How to stay out of jail while growing it. What to do while you are in jail for growing it. Ed has the whole field covered. Ask Ed.

And I do on occasion ask Ed. I ask him why he thinks pot has stayed illegal for so long. His was an interesting answer. A really surprising answer. And an intelligent answer. One I cannot divulge for reasonswell, to tell you the truthI dont remember his answer because I was smoking at the time we had that conversation, and you know us pot heads! Ill remember the answer right after I stop writing thiswhatever it is I am writing.