Summerall - Its a Lonely Love

Trigger Warning: Poems included in the following work discuss depression and suicidal ideation and could have a triggering effect for those dealing with traumatic experiences or mental health issues. EVERY WAY you were beautiful. in every way possible and impossible. APPARITION you move as a ghost does, so ethereal and graceful. an apparition. most could only see if you allowed it, but my eyes could never leave you.

WANT TO SEE? i need you so much more than you know. i could show you. some day in some life when you show me that you want to be shown. A HEART SOMEWHERE there are so many hearts that might say or do what i refuse. and they must be so alive. its a perilous form of fear to give in to. its a perilous form of fear to give in to.

EMPTY GIVINGS im afraid that ill let you ruin everything ive become and it all will be for nothing when nothing is all you will have to give. READ i wish that one day youll be able to understand how long ive waited to feel this with someone like you. its alive in my eyes and has been written on my lips. you just need to learn how to read it. you will and ill wait. i thought maybe my feelings were too dead or maybe even alive as living can be and the feeling of love really was just what i could only see. youve taught me so much. my only dire wish now is that i could thank you and show you what you have shown me. until then, until maybe never, or until maybe even tomorrow, the only love ive yet to know will remain in my veins where the whispers are quietest and you cannot hear unless you were searching, feeling. until then, until maybe never, or until maybe even tomorrow, the only love ive yet to know will remain in my veins where the whispers are quietest and you cannot hear unless you were searching, feeling.

TRIPPING ON YOU keen ears when youre gone. listening to the loudest silence to find you. my ears ring and i max that Delicate volume. were dancing in my head to your favorite colors. im tripping over our feet. dont leave me dancing alone, im tripping for you. dont leave me dancing alone, im tripping for you.

IN YOUR DEBT FOREVER the amount of knowledge you could give me with just one touch of your lips against mine is inconceivable. give me just one and enlighten me with what i have never understood before and ill be in your debt forever. ONLY OURS and then you were mine. i had always been yours, but somehow you then became mine and i finally had the only Ours that i needed.

ALWAYS IN MY HEAD the next day when my feet run to you, my arms come to you and my hands feel for you. and we kiss. and we kiss.

MY TIME be here and be my time for when time takes me away i will still be where i belong. CASKET be my casket. wrap your arms around me as i still. NOTHING WAS YOU i didnt realize what i was feeling for you until i lay in my bed and felt as if half of it were missing. my arms were burdened with the strongest urge to wrap around something, but nothing was you. walking on an ice cap without shoes when my feet cant find yours. nobody wants that. i think ill just stay in your bed. keep my feet close to yours. my favorite pair of socks. my favorite pair of socks.

LOUD everything just kind of stops moving with you. everything around us, everything in my head. the surrealism scares me, but i crave it. it all becomes so quiet and i hear something so loud. i dont know if its the way you look at me after or maybe its my heart, but i hope you hear it, too. just you and i entranced in the sight over edge. city buildings, blurry cars, and street lights. smog, too. i can smell the pollution. the trees came next, piling higher up the growing mountains leaving our lonesome world, reaching to find another while the sun lowers into the horizon guiding their way. sunlight shimmers and our city lights swim around the pollution, sure to enrapture anyones eye. pretty things painting the grand, foul remnant. you wanted to run with them, searching for a new world. you found a solacing beauty in this, knowing you could. i watched in your eyes. shades of orange and happiness. shades of orange and happiness.

UNKNOWN KNOWINGS to drown the unknown knowings of the undoable doings i have done has been all ive known. but i now know in me, through you, i feel more. something that frees me of my hell. I ENJOYED THE NIGHT
once upon a time i enjoyed the night. it spoke of the most fascinating tales. now it tells me the time for you to leave is near.

CONSTELLATING oh, i can feel the stars when you kiss me there. do it again, build another lets float in this time-absented constellation. oh, i can feel the stars when you kiss me everywhere. A PLACE OF NOTHING
you hid yourself from this world, as did i, but somehow we found one anotherin a place of nothing, i assume. because to you i was just all there was. you welcomed me with a mind so luring. you had a beauty that anyone could see and then you had a beauty only i can feel. you had a beauty that anyone could see and then you had a beauty only i can feel.

WORDS i never felt the weight of words before we met. theyre so heavy. MAYBE EVEN TOO MUCH i dont feel usually, but when i am with you i feel everything. why must i be in love to feel something. why must my way to feel one thing at all be the way i feel everything at once. maybe even too much, but i never want it to be any less and never will it ever.

NECESSARY wasting time is what were best at. its just so easy together, but please dont waste the time i use to make ours matter. GOOD MORNING TO THE BOTH OF YOU poured my heart into some messages. thought it would be cute when you woke. turns out, you were already awake with him when you got my 2am text. feeling dirtier than you.

NEW SIDES plays switched and new sides exist. either pull or release, i cry. and what was Ours started to feel like only mine. and what was Ours started to feel like only mine.

TRAINWRECK i see whats coming for me. i have been tied to these tracks before. different station, different train, same destination. im not alone in your head, im aware. but its worse that i thought i was in your heart. except, it never was. not exactly. a life-form painted over in my head to see instead of you. nothing more, anymore. i lie in your bed knowing you lie to my heart. you were elsewhere, flying to the moon with him. you were elsewhere, flying to the moon with him.

FLY HIM TO THE MOON: SEQUEL i tried my best to show you the beauty of this place. i wish i couldve made yours better, the way you told me i did. i only ever sought your happiness. and you told me you found it easiest together. it was all you ever wanted. though Ours wasnt enough. you needed his, too. but you said to me you needed Ours and i stayed in orbit until i was an earth-bound rocket left behind. but you said to me you needed Ours and i stayed in orbit until i was an earth-bound rocket left behind.

POT OF GOLD youre chasing a rainbow. its only a myth, dear. there is no pot. i mean, im chasing you so what is my opinion worth anyways. STILL HERE i can still smell you on my skin and taste you on my lips. im still here. im still here.