Gary Paulsen - Flat Broke: The Theory, Practice and Destructive Properties of Greed

ALSO BY GARY PAULSEN

Alidas Song The Amazing Life of Birds The Beet Fields The Boy Who Owned the School The Brian Books: The River, Brians Winter, Brians Return, and Brians Hunt Canyons Caught by the Sea: My Life on Boats The Cookcamp The Crossing Danger on Midnight River Dogsong Father Water, Mother Woods The Glass Caf Guts: The True Stories Behind Hatchet and the Brian Books Harris and Me Hatchet The Haymeadow How Angel Peterson Got His Name The Island Lawn Boy Lawn Boy Returns The Legend of Bass Reeves Liar, Liar Masters of Disaster Molly McGinty Has a Really Good Day The Monument Mudshark My Life in Dog Years Nightjohn The Night the White Deer Died Notes from the Dog Puppies, Dogs, and Blue Northers The Quilt The Rifle Sarny: A Life Remembered The Schernoff Discoveries Soldiers Heart The Time Hackers The Transall Saga Tuckets Travels (The Tuckets West series, Books One through Five) The Voyage of the Frog The White Fox Chronicles The Winter Room Woods Runner Picture books, illustrated by Ruth Wright Paulsen
Canoe Days and Dogteam

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Text copyright 2011 by Gary Paulsen

All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Wendy Lamb Books, an imprint of Random House Childrens Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

Wendy Lamb Books and the colophon are trademarks of Random House, Inc.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Paulsen, Gary.
Flat broke / by Gary Paulsen.1st ed.
p. cm.
Summary: Fourteen-year-old Kevin is a hard worker, so when his income is cut off he begins a series of businesses, from poker games to selling snacks, earning money to take a girl to a dance, but his partners soon tire of his methods.
eISBN: 978-0-375-89869-3

[1. Moneymaking projectsFiction. 2. Business enterprisesFiction. 3. Conduct of lifeFiction. 4. FriendshipFiction. 5. Family lifeFiction. 6. Humorous stories.] I. Title.
PZ7.P2843F1 2011 [Fic]dc22 2010049415

Random House Childrens Books supports the First Amendment and celebrates the right to read.

v3.1

Contents

Foreword

Im the best worker youll ever meet.

I should be good: Ive had a lot of practice. Im only fourteen, but Ive known for as long as I can remember that youve got to do more than whats expected if you want to get ahead. Its a universal rule. A cosmic inevitability.

If you ask me, people who say youve got to work smart and not hard are just lazy.

Im good because I give everything I do everything Ive got.

See, people appreciate that kind of effort, and going the extra mile, Ive found, always pays off.

Kevin routinely applies himself, to the best of his abilities. Thats what my teachers and counselors and coaches have always said. Whether its scissor skills (I cut the straightest edges in the history of the Golden Valley Preschool) or tie-dying in summer camp (I raided my familys laundry basket and then twisted and rubber-banded and dyed everything white I could get my hands onT-shirts, socks, shorts, my mothers bras, pillowcases, dish towels) or playing T-ball (where, although I lacked batting strength and only played an okay third base, I kept up the chatter and made the rest of the team sharp), I always do my best.

My grades arent so amazing that people think Im a prodigy or a cheat, but Im in the top ten percent of my class and I always hand in a twelve-percent-higher page count than required for essay assignments. Im the guy all my friends depend on to come up with a solid idea for what to do or crack a joke to lighten the mood. Im the only person in my family who remembers to depoop our cats litter box, which doesnt sound like a big deal, but it is to anyone whos ever smelled a ripe box.

Whatever I do, I do it well. Always have. Its just how I am.

Im not bragging or conceited, Im just telling it like it is.

Ive usually gotten exactly what I wanted because Ive always been willing to work hard.

I have a knack for knowing what needs to be said and done.

But its easy to get into trouble with the details if you dont stay focused on the big picture.

Even though I know better, I forgot that bit for a while. Until my life turned into something like creamed chipped barf and peas on toast.

The Successful Person Can Make Something from Nothing

I d recently found myself in a world of trouble, because I used to lie. To everyone. About everything. All the time. But only because I was really good at it and lying made so much sense. Until my friends, family and teachers all got mad at me and I had to come up with about a hundred creative ways to apologize.

Things are better now. Except for the fact that Ive got a serious cash problem. As in: Im not making any.

My parents are teaching me a lesson: Since you lied, were taking away your allowance for a month. And even my weekend job working for my Auntie Buzz at her interior decorating business wasnt bringing in the money like it used to.

Are you teaching me a lesson too? Because of the way I lied to you, um, to everyone? I asked her after she told me I couldnt work for her for a month.

No. Im just mad at you.

Im the kind of person who takes his punishment like a man, so I didnt even try to argue with her.

A guys got to have some walking-around money, though, and I thought I could still count on babysitting money because I watch my four-year-old neighbor, Markie, once or twice a week. Markie was the only person I hadnt lied to, so I figured that income was safe.

Hi, Dutchdeefuddy, Markie said, using his name for me. It means best most favorite buddy in the world forever. As we waved goodbye to his mom on Sunday, he asked, What does bankrupt mean?

Last week Id had to explain vorces to him because his parents were breaking up. And now, I guessed, going broke, too.

What did you hear? I asked. Markie might have the attention span of a fruit fly, but hes got the hearing of a NASA deep-space probe.

Mommy said they cant pay you or theyll go bankrupt.

Ah. Well. That figures.

Markies folks were paying for the house and an apartmentMarkie stayed put in the family home and his mom and dad moved in and out according to their custody schedule.

I hoped to keep my job. Markie needed me. Or I needed him. I hadnt figured that out yet. But theres something really nice about spending time with a little kid. You learn so much.

Bankrupt means they dont have a lot of money right now, I said. Its a grown-up thing, and you dont have to worry. Im going to keep coming over like always, even if they cant pay.

Cool.

Yeah, I thought, lack of money is the new in thing. Hey, how about a banana dipped in melted chocolate chips? He nodded and started peeling.

I am an excellent babysitter. Kids in my care get their three to five daily servings of fruit.

I shook some chocolate chips into a microwavesafe bowl and wondered: Why was the universe ganging up to make sure I didnt have any money?

Whoever says youth is the best time in your life has cash in hand and cant remember being poor.

My best friend, JonPaul, pounded on the door just as the microwave dinged. You know youve got a great friend when he doesnt mind hanging out with you when youre Markie-sitting.

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