A Practical Guide to the Safety Profession

CRC Press

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For Nick,

Ill always miss our talks and strategy sessions. I learned more from you about airplanes than I probably ever wanted to know. You left a void that can never be filled, my friend. Thanks for the stories.

I always find it entertaining to watch celebrities give their tear-filled thanks to all of the people who have made it possible to stand on this or that prestigious stage. Mostly because those speeches feel genuine, sometimes because theyre awkward. If it makes it easier, feel free to envision me in my sparkliest tiara as I look upon a crowd of adoring fans and deliver this obligatory thanks to those who have supported me in this journey. In reality, though, its not nearly that glamorous. Those who have supported me through this process are the ones who deserve an award, not me.

Ive said since I was a child that I wanted to be a writer. But the cold hard truth is that I never had the guts to pick up my pen (metaphorically speaking) and write something for the world to read. Well, now I have. But not because Im particularly wise or worthy to teach the lessons within this book. Ultimately, these words are here because my dad finally told me to quit talking and start writing. For that I owe him an eternal debt of gratitude.

Once I started, however, there was one person who kept my feet to the fire in spite of my constant, malicious self-sabotage. That person is my wife Jennifer. She forced this thing out of me. For that, I will never be able to thank her adequately. She has endured the ups, downs, and everything in between just to see me realize a personal dream. Im certain theres not another soul on earth who would have put up with all that (seriously, Im a whiny little bitch sometimes).

In addition to my wife and my dad, I would be remiss if I didnt thank Phil La Duke, Clive Lloyd, Mike Rogers, Rich Marr, and Don King. None of you had any reason to give me the time of day, but your feedback has been invaluable. Thank you.

I hope you all enjoy these stories.

Anyone who has sat through the excruciatingly boring time waster that passes for a safety meeting will love this book. Like Jason, I have been told too many times that safety isnt funny, and I am finally ready to admit that they are right: safety isnt funny. It is a humorless world where one wrong word can get you in trouble and chastised like the wiseacre sent to the proverbial principals office for cracking jokes while other people are trying to learn. But it shouldnt be drudgery to reduce risk; in fact, Jason proves safety can be funny without endangering lives.

Jason takes the reader down the rabbits hole of worker safety where good, reasonable, hardworking safety professionals get caught up in a nightmarish world performing tasks that just dont matter. From the madness of measuring nothing, to the quirks and foibles of people who have risen far above their competency level, to people who rabidly argue for or against theories that are completely pointless. Jason brings this world to life with anecdotes from his storied career. Even if you dont work in the field of safety you will likely be able to relate to Jasons stories about the people he has met and will likely gain insight from his sage advice that, if you look hard enough, you will be able to apply in your lives.

Oh, and he drew a snake.

Phil La Duke

Global Safety Consultant

Blogger

Author of I Know My Shoes Are Untied, Mind Your Own Business! An Iconoclasts View of Safety and Lone Gunman: Rewriting the Handbook on Workplace Violence Prevention

Social Maladroit

Jase, safetys not funny!

Nicks thinly veiled grin betrayed his otherwise stern chastisement. Tony blushed a little and chuckled softly with his head down. Kelly, unsurprisingly, was oblivious and completely missed the blatant sarcasm. I smiled as I put down my masterful artwork and quickly read through my non-update.

The four of us were sitting around the Safety Table for our daily team meeting. We had met at that table every day at 11 a.m. for the past two years. It was a routine, structured, efficient way for the Safety Department to communicate. It was also mind-numbing and excruciatingly painful. The kind of meeting that makes you wish you could dig your eyeballs out of your skull with a spoon and stuff them in your ears so you neither had to see nor hear what was going on. It was robotic:

• 11:00 Nick (our manager) would start us off by running through pertinent announcements (quick and painless).
• 11:05 Tony (second most senior to Nick) would discuss a few items from his contracts that he needed advice or input on (also quick, yet efficient).
• 11:10 Nick, Tony, and I would drift into a deep, thoughtless trance while Kelly talked through every nuance of his day. Coffee with the contractors how bad the Porta-Johns were every chemical that was going to be used on site that day the arguments hed had with field engineers how much concrete was being poured on level 2, section five of the new garage The missing period on one sentence of a contract submittal that made him question his decision to approve it EVERYTHING!
• 11:55 Nick, upon waking from his eyes-open nap, would ask me what I had to contribute.