Millie Gooch - The Sober Girl Society Handbook

WRITE-ON PAGES
Any references to writing in this book refer to the original printed version.
Readers should write on a separate piece of paper in these instances.

TRANSWORLD

UK | USA | Canada | Ireland | Australia
New Zealand | India | South Africa

Transworld is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com.

First published in Great Britain in 2021 by Bantam Press

Copyright Millie Gooch 2021

Every effort has been made to obtain the necessary permissions with reference to copyright material, both illustrative and quoted. We apologize for any omissions in this respect and will be pleased to make the appropriate acknowledgements in any future edition.

The moral right of the author has been asserted

Cover design by Beci Kelly/TW

ISBN: 978-1-473-58415-0

This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the authors and publishers rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

Author note

Dear reader,

Though I hope this handbook can empower you to change your relationship with alcohol, it isnt, and should never be, a substitute for proper medical or psychological help. I am a writer, not a doctor, a therapist or an addiction professional, and if you believe that you might need extra help with your drinking then please be sure to speak to your doctor or check out the resources at the back of this book. Everything contained in this handbook comes from my personal experience and the experiences of those I have interviewed, but it may not be your experience.

For some people, simply quitting drinking can be dangerous and a detox of this kind should be carried out under medical supervision. Please consult your GP first before taking any of the advice from this book on breaking up with booze.

Lots of love,

Millie x

Patricia Amelia Bowen.
My beautiful Granny who
always said This too shall pass but never got to
see that it actually did.
19292017

Hey, sister! Welcome to the Sober Girl Society. I for one am so glad youre here. My name is Millie Gooch (yep, my surname is also a slang word for the bit between a mans testicles and his anus), and if you want to come and say hi, or share the struggle of having a near-phallic surname, then you can find me on Instagram @milliegooch. I use she/her pronouns.

I set up SGS in 2018 to fulfil a desire to connect with like-minded women who were also embracing sobriety. Girls similar to me who didnt want to compromise on having fun and socializing, but who no longer felt alcohol was the faithful friend it once was. I wanted to create a place where women could discuss the best non-alcoholic wines, muse on the potential pitfalls of sober dating, and show the world that being alcohol-free is anything but boring!

I hate to come straight out with the formalities, but before we get stuck in Id like us to agree to a few pledges so that we have a mutual understanding. Its common to have a complex relationship with alcohol, so I hope this helps those of you who might be approaching this book with mixed feelings or slight trepidation.

I, the reader

Will acknowledge that everything I am being told in this book comes from a place of love and not judgement. The author of this book has been there, done that and got the wine-stained T-shirt to prove it.

Will not worry about labels. Sober, sober curious, alcohol-free, non-drinker, mindful drinker: it doesnt matter at this point/if ever. All I am doing is reading a book, learning some facts and considering some opinions. The only label I need is my name, and SGS isnt bothered if I want to drop that either.

Will keep an open mind and acknowledge that a lot of what I am about to read might feel like listening to one friend trying to tell another friend that their partner is cheating on them. In fact, some parts of this book might make for uncomfortable reading, but this is good because my perceptions are being challenged and my horizons are being broadened. The truth can sometimes hurt, but then it will set me (alcohol-) free.

Will not, under any circumstances, use this book as a coaster for a glass of wine, gin or any other alcoholic beverage.

Will try to read as much as possible, even if I dont think its relevant, because knowledge is power, and perhaps it might help me to understand the world and the struggles of others a little better. I will try not to skim read while watching Netflix, only to realize that I havent taken anything in and then have to flick back a couple of pages.

Will read this book loudly and proudly and not hide it away. I acknowledge that breaking the stigma around sobriety is important, and reading this book in the open, on a train or in a caf, might help to change someone elses perceptions too.

Will not be afraid to annotate this book, because highlighting is welcome in this house. A well-worn book is a well-loved book (but I will not take this to mean I should scribble all over my Kindle).

Will know that while this book will help me to navigate a world without alcohol, it is really all about choice. Sober Girl Society doesnt believe that alcohol empowers us, but sobriety doesnt necessarily do that for us either. It is choosing what feels genuinely right for us as individual human beings that is empowering. Whatever relationship I decide to have with alcohol once Ive read this book is completely up to me, but at least Ill have the facts.

Will take this as my official trigger warning for the contents of this book, as some material might be difficult for me to read. For example, Chapter Four includes some discussion around the topics of self-harm and suicide, and in later chapters there are mentions of sexual assault and domestic violence. Because of the sensitive nature of everything being discussed, details of support helplines are included on . I promise to make use of them if I am struggling or feel affected by any of the issues raised.