Taylor DAotino - Kissing: The Best Tips, Techniques and Advice

Kissing

The Best Tips, Techniques, and Advice

Taylor D'Aotino

Copyright 2014 Taylor D'Aotino

All rights reserved.

No part of this e-book may be replicated, redistributed or given away without the prior written consent of the author/publisher.

The information in this book is distributed on an as is basis, without warranty. Although every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this work, neither the author nor the publisher shall have any liability to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by the information contained in this book.

INTRODUCTION

E VERY PERSON you'll ever have a romantic encounter with in your life will kiss differently from all the others, and will have individual likes and dislikes. That being the case, there is no way for a book like this to provide one-size-fits-all instructions on kissing, anymore than a cookbook author can guarantee that every recipe will be a winner for every person who tries it out. But, fortunately, for authors who write about cooking and kissing, people have many tastes in common, and there are many flavors and kissing techniques that meet with wide approval.

That's what this book is about. Not strict rules, but information about what works for most people most of the time. Ultimately, there is no right or wrong way to kiss. There is only what you and your partner enjoy. But on the path to discovering your natural style, this book can save you time and frustration. Enough creative energy has preceded your efforts to provide useful pointers from those who have gone before. As human beings none of us is entirely original. We all learn from what others have discovered, and add our own ideas to the mix of possibilities.

Everyone who picks up this book is starting from a different place. Each person brings with them their own history and level of experience. If you occasionally come across advice that seems very basic to you, cast your memory back to your greener days when you were less sure of what now seems obvious, and you'll understand why that information is here. None of us are born knowing these things. For those who haven't learned the basics, the earlier chapters of this book are as good a place as any to get that information.

If you're beyond the beginner level, consider the possibility that a quick review of the fundamentals may still be worth your time. Without giving away too much of the plot it's worth noting that the number one complaint people have about their kissing partner (whether experienced or not) can be found in Chapter 2, Mouth Maintenance And Grooming. Sometimes the basics do trip us up. We all have an occasional tendency to get careless, and, as many a frustrated person can tell you, even when a partner has a long romantic history, there's no guarantee that they haven't gone all that distance without missing out on some essential knowledge about our topic. This book attempts to fill in those gaps.

On the other hand, if you're a very experienced romantic and your confidence is high, skip over those early chapters that don't apply to you. In later chapters, you'll find ideas that even a well-practiced lover can use to take their kissing game to a new level. In other words, this is a book for everybody who wants to improve their kissing experience.

H OW SERIOUS SHOULD we take kissing? Well, just imagine a world without it. Certainly there was never any chance that kissing would disappear, but in the 1960s and 1970s some aspects of romance, kissing being one of them, seemed to take a back seat as we rushed head long into the sexual revolution. For a time, what had been a cornerstone of a solid relationship was in danger of becoming viewed as quaint and old fashioned while we searched for ever wilder and more intense experiences. That attitude has been changing for a while now. Possibly this is due in part to illnesses such as AIDS creating a pendulum swing in the direction of slowing down and taking time to really get to know each other. It's also possible that, having sowed our wild oats as a society, we're now collectively looking for more meaning and depth in our relationships.

When its given the attention it deserves, kissing has the potential to be an enormously positive experience in our lives, a shared source of pleasure, comfort and intimate communication that can help fulfill a deeply human longing for meaningful contact with another person. Were so perfectly built for it that to give kissing the bums rush seems an odd sort of self-denial, as if were not committed to getting all we can from life.

To set the stage for the rest of the book, the remainder of this chapter points to three aspects of kissing that make the case for it being far more than a pleasant way to end a date:

• Kissing is an entirely natural activity that goes way back in human history.
• Kissing improves our health and overall well-being.
• Kissing enhances the bond with our significant other.

Kissing Comes Naturally

Its tempting to say that kissing is a universal experience, but thats not quite true. About 90 percent of the human population kisses, but there are a few cultures in Africa, Asia and South America that dont kiss at all and have no idea what the fuss is about. Then there are cultures that kiss but in ways that may seem foreign or strange to us. Polynesians, for instance, practice a kiss they call the mitakuku, which involves biting hairs from their sweethearts eyebrows. Trobriand Islanders do something similar but take it several steps further, biting their partners lips, chin, nose, and cheeks, often drawing blood in the process, before finally biting off the tips of their partners eyelashes.

Ask any child how Eskimos kiss and you'll be told that they rub noses. While this charming form of physical contact may seem almost child-like in its simplicity, the truth about whats really going on is more sophisticated and complex. When Eskimos kiss, they bring their noses close to one another and breathe in their partners exhalation. In effect, what theyre doing is taking in a heady combination of their partners scent and a spirit-like essence that they sense in the breath of a person that they care about. Similar breath kisses are practiced in many places around the world, including Samoa, Mongolia and among the Maori people of New Zealand. Although Eskimos call their style of kissing kunik, in Polynesia its known as the honi, and the point is to exchange ha the breath of life, and mana the spiritual power within people.

Back through the mists of time, many cultures have believed that an individuals soul was carried on the breath. Today most of us living in the West wouldnt go that far and, yet, when kissing someone we care about we may experience our loved one in a way that seems both physical and beyond the physical. We may have a feeling that, for fleeting moments at least, were able to access some essential part of our partners core being that cant be reached in any other way. At such moments, kissing has the power to tear down our feelings of separateness, and we may even lose our awareness of where one person begins and the other ends.

How did this seemingly strange practice of pressing our lips to another's first take hold? There are several theories floating about. One of the most popular suggests that kissing first developed among our caveman ancestors. Long before sterilized bottles of pureed peas and carrots were available, early mothers fed their infants by thoroughly chewing up food, and then passing this nutritious mush from their mouth to the mouth of their waiting infant. From this beginning, so the theory goes, the pleasures of pressing lips together soon became obvious, with or without the extra reward of food. It's not hard to see why such a theory is popular: If buried in our collective memory is eons of mouth-to-mouth care-giving, that would certainly help explain why kissing carries such an ability to bond us to another person. But theories based in early culture may not fully explain the profound pull that kissing has on us.