Aleks Jassem - The Rebel Mamas Handbook for (Cool) Moms

Contents

The Rebel Mamas Handbook for (Cool) Moms

Copyright 2018, 2020 by Aleksandra Jassem and Nikita Stanley.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

Published by Collins, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd

An earlier version of this book was originally self-published with FriesenPress in a trade paperback edition in 2018 and a hardcover edition in 2019.

First published by Collins in a trade paperback edition in 2020

This book contains advice and information relating to health care. It should be used to supplement rather than replace the advice of your doctor or another trained health professional. If you know or suspect that you have a health problem, it is recommended that you seek your physicians advice before embarking on any medical program or treatment. All efforts have been made to assure the accuracy of the information contained in this book as of the date of publication. The publisher and the author disclaim liability for any medical or other outcomes that may occur as a result of applying the methods suggested in this book.

Text by Meg Broadbent.

Text by Erica Moore.

EPub Edition MARCH 2020 EPub ISBN: 978-1-4434-6140-5

Version 02282020

Print ISBN: 978-1-4434-6139-9

HarperCollins Publishers Ltd

Bay Adelaide Centre, East Tower

22 Adelaide Street West, 41st Floor

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

M5H 4E3

www.harpercollins.ca

Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

Title: The rebel mamas handbook for (cool) moms / Aleksandra Jassem, Nikita Stanley.

Names: Jassem, Aleksandra, author. | Stanley, Nikita, author.

Description: Originally published: Victoria, BC, Canada : FriesenPress, 2018.

Identifiers: Canadiana (print) 20200162101 | Canadiana (ebook) 20200162128 | ISBN 9781443461399 (softcover) | ISBN 9781443461405 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: MotherhoodHandbooks, manuals, etc. | LCSH: Child rearingHandbooks, manuals, etc. | LCSH: Mother and child. | LCGFT: Handbooks and manuals.

Classification: LCC HQ759 .J37 2020 | DDC 306.874/3dc23

LSC/H 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

For rebellious mothers, who ought to be revered,

not feared.

Contents

Meg Broadbent

I was first introduced to Aleksandra Jassem and Nikita Stanley, better known as the Rebel Mamas, when my son was ten weeks old. I was deep in the throes of sleep deprivation at the time, and I spent my days alternating between hysterically crying, hysterically laughing, yelling at my husband, and lying dramatically on the bathroom floor.

As a first-time mom, I felt completely overwhelmed and totally alone. I had no idea what the fuck I was doing, and I was constantly on the verge of an anxiety-driven meltdown.

Why was my son crying so much? Why was he sleeping all day but never at night? Was he supposed to barf after every feed? Why was I so sad and angry all the time? Why was I bleeding like I was on the brink of death? What in the hell was happening with my vagina?!

I needed answers, and I needed them now. I needed someone in my corner to reassure me that everything was going to be okay, to tell me that I was doing a fine job, and to hand me a properly made, slightly dirty martini.

Enter the Rebel Mamas.

When I discovered their online society of judgment-free, no-bullshit, tell-it-like-it-is moms, I suddenly felt less alone. These women understood that mothers needed a safe space to ask for help without being lectured or looked down upon. They needed to be part of a community where no one was pretending to have everything figured out, and where perfection was viewed as an amusing inside joke, not an achievable standard.

With the encouragement and support of my new mom-crew, I found the strength to pull up my adult diapers, toss my breast pump aside, put on a pair of non-maternity jeans, and start living again.

I stopped caring about getting everything right. Instead, I focused on getting through the day.

Before long, I once again recognized the person staring back at me in the mirror. Sure, I looked a little more haggard, and the circles under my eyes were darker than my coffee, but I believed in myself again. I finally realized that growing a human inside of my body, pushing it out, and managing to not accidentally kill it every day made me a heromore than a hero! It made me a Rebel Mama.

You picked up this book, so chances are youre a Rebel Mama, too.

A Rebel Mama is a smart, brave, unapologetic badass who doesnt let anyone tell her what to do or how to feel. She doesnt care what other people think; she trusts her gut and her heart. Shes a confident, open-minded boss, who practises compassion and never judges another woman. Especially not another mother.

As a bonafide Rebel Mama, this book will be your bible. Its your early motherhood survival guide, full of important and disgusting information that your mothers and girlfriends should have told you, but didnt. Its got advice on everything from packing a hospital bag to losing your postnatal virginity. It has tips on sleep training (have good wine on hand) and introducing solids (dont wear white). Itll teach you how to survive your first post-baby hangover and a six-hour flight with a screaming toddler. It will tell you how to look put-together, how to deal with your ever-changing breasts, and how to get five goddamn minutes to yourself.

More than anything, this book is a love letter to moms. Its not all about the kids: You still matter. Your life doesnt have to change completely the moment you get knocked up. Youre a unique woman, with ideas and plans and goals, and you dont have to abandon any of them just because youve got a permanent plus one.

Motherhood is lifes greatest balancing act. Raising tiny humans while holding on to your own identity and finding time for yourself is hard work, and theres no secret formula for pulling it off. No one knows what theyre doing. All you can do is get up every morning and do your best. The good news? Were all in this together.

Hold on to your uteri, ladies: Its gonna be one hell of a ride.

2017 by Ariane Laezza.

Since were about to unload a shit-ton of advice about things related to pregnancy, childbirth, nutrition, and sleep habits, among other things, weve been advised by our lawyer to include un petit disclaimer, so here it is:

Were not doctors. The advice in this book is based upon experience (and common sense) only.

If you have questions or concerns about your well-being or your childs health, we strongly suggest you take them up with a medically trained professional.

That is all.

Occasionally, we like to employ words/acronyms that dont technically exist in the English language. While some of their meanings are obvious, others may have you pausing to consult Googleand we certainly dont want that happeningso weve created a little glossary for you to familiarize yourself with before we begin.

In the order in which they appear in the book:

Hella: Extremely (our second favourite unit of measurement)

AF: An abbreviation for As Fuck (our favourite unit of measurement)