Steve Herz - Dont Take Yes for an Answer: Using Authority, Warmth, and Energy to Get Exceptional Results

To my wife, Raquelwho thankfully took yes for an answer on our wedding day.

There are certain people you meet in your life who just care. They care about other people, they care about humanity. They care about making the world better.

There are other people you meet who just seem to be connected and always seem to know everyone that you know. Somewhat like six degrees of separation or a spiderweb through relationships.

Steve Herz is one of those rare people who encompass both of these qualities. I have known Steve for more than twenty-five years as we grew up as competitors in the business of media representation. But he was never a true competitor. He was someone that I respected and someone who always exhibited ethical behavior.

Fast-forward to 2016, after I had left IMG after a thirty-year career. I decided to start my own company, the Montag Group, and Steve and I agreed to merge our talent businesses together. It has turned out much better than I expected and Steve has become a kindred spirit in the growth of our company. The business of client representation is far more than just deal making. It is a true service industry where to get to the very top, you have to take a sincere liking and dedication to your client to make them the best they can be at their craft and take them to levels that they only dreamed of. Steve knows how to make people better. He knows how to make people better communicators, he knows how to make people better broadcasters, he knows how to help people get more out of their careers and their lives. Steve is a true people person.

We live in an increasingly tough and difficult world on many different levels: politically, socially, and in our professional lives. Businesses have become extremely competitive and cutthroat. It is hard to get a good job and it is equally hard to maintain it.

In his book, Dont Take Yes for an Answer, you will hear from some of the greatest minds in the world on how they communicate, how they lead, and how they achieve the highest level of success in their personal and professional lives. Steve has the ability to draw these lessons out of these leaders and I believe that after you read this book, you will have a different outlook on life and how you can get and make the most out of each and every day.

Sandy Montag, CEO of the Montag Group

Some people come home from dinner with friends carrying a doggy bag. I tend to come home with bruised shins, reminders of my wifes well-placed kicks under the table. You know the kind. Its the universal technique a spouse or partner will use to quietly signal that its time for you to shut your mouth and stop embarrassing them. Regretfully, my wife has had plenty of opportunities to perfect her aim, given that like curmudgeon Larry David in the TV show Curb Your Enthusiasm, I have a tendency to be a social assassin. A social assassin is someone who lays waste to the social niceties and white lies that frequently smooth human interactions. For example, if were at dinner and you ask me if I like your new hairstyle, I know Im supposed to say, Yes, it looks great! And I will if I really do.

But what if I think it looks like you took a weed whacker to your head?

I wont tell you that, because Im not a mean guy.

But I am an honest guy.

So I will answer honestly that no, your new hairstyle isnt that flattering, I liked it the other way.

Thats when my wife will kick me.

Hey, you asked!

In my defense, I spend most of my life telling people hard truths, and it can be challenging to remember that outside the office, even when Im asked, not everyone actually wants to hear them. As a talent agent, however, its my job to point out any elements that could hurt my clients careers, whether its their appearance and dress, their body language, their speech patterns, or their vocal tone, and let them know what they can do to improve so they can deliver their best performance. My company, the Montag Group, represents more than 250 of todays top journalists, broadcast executives, and media personalitiesthe very faces and voices youve grown to trust and rely on to keep you in the know at CBS, CNN, MSNBC, FOX News, ESPN, and elsewhere. Beyond our broadcast division, which is one of the largest in the industry, we provide guidance to athletes, technology companies, law firms, and international banks, along with top CEOs and entrepreneurs. By and large, most of my clients are already considered stars in their chosen field (though many have been with me since the beginning of their careers), but they still seek out my professional assessment and coaching methods because they believe that, despite all the applause and approval they get from peers, friends, and supporters, and despite all the success theyve already enjoyed, they can still do better. That desire to do whatever it takes to excel is the difference between people who are good at what they do, and people who are great.

If youre reading this book, my guess is you want to be the latter. So heres my first piece of advice:

If you want to find out what youre truly made of and reach your utmost potential in work and in life, you must stop taking YES for an answer.

For reasons well explore in this book, we get a lot of positive feedback that we dont actually deserve, which means you cant trust all the yesses you hear. In fact, if youve checked off all the obvious boxes necessary for a stellar career in your fieldeducation, credentials, years of experiencebut you still arent where you want to be, that lack of honest feedback is probably part of whats holding you back.

Because face it, if youre doing just fine but youre not truly killing it the way you always dreamed you would, I dont care what anyone else tells you, youre doing something wrong.

Dont you want to know what it is?

If youre frustrated because youre falling short of your potentialwhether that means youre getting passed over for promotions, failing to close on new business, being denied pay raises, struggling to retain customers and employees, negotiating ineffectively, lacking positive professional and even personal relationships, or generally not getting the respect, acknowledgment, and recognition you desireand you want to know why, you have to be willing not only to accept criticism, but also seek it out. You have to find someone who cares enough to tell you when you arent all that, and accept that a no is often more helpful than a yes.

I came by this knowledge the hard way. In fact, I owe my entire career to a boss who would not give me the yes I expected to hear.

It was August 1990, the summer after my second year at Vanderbilt Law School. I was one of twenty-nine summer associates at the law firm of Curtis, Mallet-Prevost. It was a prestigious program and my fellow wannabe lawyers and I each hoped that upon graduation wed be offered a high-paying first-year position at the Park Avenue firm. Typically, 90 percent of the associates were offered a job. Good odds. Nevertheless, it was still a competitive environment, and as the summer program rolled to an end, naturally the lot of us became anxious as we prepared for the last rites.

Turner Smith was managing partner of the summer associate program, and it was he who would deliver our fate. On that hot August afternoon, I was the last associate called to his office. By then, however, news had already filtered through the building that every single one of the summer associates had been given an offer. I felt confident as I took a seat in his office, ready to enjoy the moment. Smith was a disarmingly charming man, almost courtly, and he welcomed me with a warm smile. He leaned forward across his walnut brown desk to look me straight in the eye, and in a gentle, polite tone, he told me I was an atrociously bad summer associate. I should save my money and quit law school. Immediately.