Jackie Walker - Expressionista: How to Express Your True Self Through (and Despite) Fashion

W hat an incredible adventure we had writing this book! It began several years ago when Jackie browsed through her Fashion Group International membership directory and found Pamelas bio and phone number. She dialed. We havent met, she said, but do you want to write a book with me? And so we did.

Along the way we worked with so many wonderful, remarkable peoplemostly women and girlswho helped make this book possible. We owe them our deepest appreciation and gratitude for their encouragement, support, and wisdom. Foremost, we thank our agent, Ronnie Ann Herman, who knew exactly how to guide our fledgling manuscript in the very beginning. And a special mention goes to Jan Spivey Gilchrist, who serendipitously introduced us to Ronnie. We also thank our editorial team: Nicole Geiger and Lindsay Brown at Beyond Words Publishing and our developmental editor, Gretchen Stelter of Cogitate Studios. Our talented illustrator Shannon Laskey throughout these pages has transformed our words with her artistic vision. What a delightful group of gals! You embraced our project with enthusiasm and made it better than we ever imagined.

We also thank everyone who helped us with research and resources. Among them are Chicago Public Schools, Step Up Womens Network, Jodi Norgaard, Jill McMillan, Cathryn Goodman and daughter Clara Haeffner, Kathy Lincoln, Heather Berg Giese, Bonita Chapman, plus all the amazing Expressionistas we met around the country! And then there are those who lovingly cheered us on: Jackies business support group, Pamelas writing circle, and our wonderful husbandsRichard Dunscomb and Arnold Shifrin. Thank you many times over.

Celebrate yourself!

Jackie and Pamela

Dear Dr. Jackie: I have many more clothes than a lot of my friends, but I never seem to have anything to wear. What am I doing wrong?

Answer: Even though your closet and dresser are full, it sounds as though you dont have the clothes that fit your personal style. Perhaps you bought things because you were in a hurry or because someone you admire bought them. Now your inner Expressionista looks at them and says, Thats not me! Take the Fashion Persona Quiz to see who you really are. Any time you buy something new, make sure it matches up with your Persona. Then youll always have clothes that you like and feel great in!

Dear Dr. Jackie: My mom has so many rules for me. She wont let me wear miniskirts or short shorts. All my friends do. How can I talk her into letting me wear what I want?

Answer: When your mom has a problem with what you are wearing, ask her why. Use a calm voice, not an angry or whiny one. Choose a time when she isnt stressed out from her day. Maybe her reasons are not what you expect. When you hear them, maybe you will agree. Another approach is to see if you can compromise. One mom I know wont allow her Expressionista to leave the house wearing pants with words printed across her derrire. She and her daughter reached a compromise: Her daughter could own a pair, but she agreed to wear them only at home or in the backyard.

Dear Dr. Jackie: Theres a designer purse I really want. Its so beautiful! My mom says we cant afford it, and if anyone is going to get one, its going to be her. How can I get this bag for myself?

Answer: I understand how much you wish to have one of these bags. Most likely there are some girls in your school who already own one. Perhaps you and your mom can visit consignment stores in your area to see if you can find a gently used bag by this designer or maybe the two of you can find one on eBay. If not, would you think about starting a handbag savings account? Deposit any birthday or holiday money, and ask your parents if they will pay you for doing extra chores. (If they agree, make sure you do a really good job.) You can prove how much this means to you if you can save enough to pay for almost all of this purchase.

Dear Dr. Jackie: My mom still picks out all my clothes. Sometimes she even buys me things when Im not with her! How can I let her know I am old enough to wear what I want?

Answer: Your mother was your first fashion stylist, and it sounds like she enjoys the role. I imagine it is hard for her to think you might not need her as much anymore. Why not show her the Fashion Persona Quiz and discuss your answers with her? (An adult version can be found in my first book, I Dont Have a Thing to Wear: The Psychology of Your Closet .) It can be fun to do the quiz together and see the ways you two are alike and how you are different. Another idea is to cut photos of clothing items you would choose for yourself from catalogs and magazines. With this information, your mom might realize what your tastes really are.

Dear Dr. Jackie: On weekends, I live with my dad, and he buys me clothes. Then I go home, and Mom wont let me wear them. I dont understand.

Answer: What does your mom say about the clothes your dad buys? Does she feel they arent appropriate for your age? (Be honestis she right?) Or does she feel bad because she cant afford to buy them for you? Look for the reasons behind her feelings. Maybe shes caught up in her own mixed feelings about the divorce. You might have to wear the clothes just when youre with your dad. Im sorry you have to deal with this.

Dear Dr. Jackie: I hate my hair. It just hangs there and never looks styled. Do you have any suggestions?

Answer: What is your hair type? Thats the first thing to know. Is it naturally straight or curly or somewhere in between? Then you need to find a style that works with that type. Youll always be frustrated if you try to straighten curly tresses (boy, do I ever know this, as you can tell from my tight ringlets!) or keep a curl in straight ones. Dont fight what comes naturally. And stock up on headbands, barrettes, and butterfly clips. Perhaps your mom or dad will treat you to a professional styling before the next big event in your life.

Dear Dr. Jackie: I love my grandma, and shes always shopping for clothes for me. But she likes little bows and bunnies and other cutesy designs. Its just not my style. Is there a way I can get her to change without hurting her feelings?

Answer: Im thrilled that you have such a warm relationship with your grandmother! Lucky you! And your maturity shows in that you are sensitive to her feelings. Heres whats happening: your grandma sees you as a sweet little girl. She might always feel that way about you. Try spending some time with her going through catalogs or fashion magazines. Show her some pieces you like and tell her why you like them. Perhaps shell see that your tastes are changing. If not, maybe your mom can put in a good word for you that a red rhinestone hoodieor whatever you are currently covetingis at the top of your wish list.

Dear Dr. Jackie: I like to create outfits that are really different, like mixing stripes and metallics and lace all together. My friends sometimes make fun of me, but I like the way I look. I dont want to look like they do. How can I respond to them?

Answer: You have a unique sense of style. Congratulations on being an Expressionista! If youre happy with how you look, thats all that really matters. Explain your Fashion Persona to your friends, and tell them they have Fashion Personas as well. Give them the Fashion Persona Quiz to learn theirs!

Dear Dr. Jackie: My family doesnt have the money for me to dress the way the popular girls do. Im so embarrassed about it that some days I dont want to go to school. What can I do?

Answer: I understand how you feel but, truly, it doesnt take a lot of money to look sensational. Take the Fashion Persona Quiz to learn your true fashion personality. Find pictures of outfits and individual pieces you like that reflect that personality. You can recreate these looks by shopping in stores that specialize in trendy, low-cost fashion. Some of them even offer designer collections at affordable prices. Resale shops and Goodwill stores often have great selections of not-quite-new and vintage clothing. Find out when they are having sales.