Virgie Tovar - The Self-Love Revolution: Radical Body Positivity for Girls of Color

There is so much I can say about this fantastic, necessary, radical, beautiful, powerful book, but the main thing I want to say (well, actually, I kind of want to SHOUT it) is THANK YOU, VIRGIE! THANK YOU! Thank you for envisioning and writing a book like this, that I can give to my daughter, and every young woman I encounter. Would it be weird if I stood on the street and just handed out copies?!

Kate Schatz , New York Times bestselling author of the Rad Women series, including Rad American Women A-Z and Rad Women Worldwide

Every body exists the exact way its meant to exist. While this shouldnt be a radical concept, it absolutely is. This is the book I wish Id read when I was 14. Reading it now feels like a healing for my teenage self. The wisdom in this book is absolutely necessary for the critical paradigm shift needed to liberate young women from the toxicity of our current cultural norms. Tovar is a wealth of vibrant stories and radical insight. Armed with her tiny cactus and gigantic umbrella, she joyously jiggles a pathway to freedom and self-acceptance, illuminating the first steps for each of us to make our own individual journeys.

Reagan Jackson , program director for Young Women Empowered, award-winning journalist, and producer and cohost of the Deep End Podcast

Virgie Tovar has penned the instruction and empowerment guide that young women not only need, but deserve. With its direct guidance and relatable stories, the irresistible beauty and profound power of The Self-Love Revolution is that it is equal parts love letter, action guide, permission granter, and manifesto. An impassioned and insightful treatise, it inspires its readers to critically question our cultural beauty standards, and passionately commit to demanding something better for themselves and the world. This is the rare book that can change not just hearts and minds, but also our culture.

Rosie Molinary, MFA , author of Beautiful You and Hijas Americanas

How I wish Id had this book in my arsenal as a fat Colombian girl growing up in the very white, mostly thin suburbs of New Jersey. I cannot wait to share it with my own daughters as they grow older. It will be an antidote to the toxic messaging on beauty standards, dieting, race, and wellness they will no doubt come into contact with. I cannot wait to share it with everyone, TBHwith those who have never heard of radical body positivity or fat acceptance before, with seasoned activists, with everyone.

Marie Southard Ospina, MA , writer, editor, and fat acceptance advocate

Virgie Tovar is the badass bestie we all prayed for in middle school. Her new book is a revolutionary manifesto, one thats essential reading not just for surviving the most toxic parts of modern culture, but also for embracing our own needs and power. Unflinchingly realwith page after page of quote-worthy truth bombs this book is a delicious call to arms for the next generation of girl rebels.

Laurie Santos , professor of psychology at Yale University, and host of The Happiness Lab podcast

This book does have the power to start a revolution! Virgie tells the truth all the truthsgirls of color need to know about their bodies and their own worth, from history, to systemic oppression, to her own instructive story. Virgie brings girls a profound message that is totally accessible, never patronizing. She is a brilliant writer and thinker in body positivity, and she transmits to teen girls of color what grown women learn from her every day. There are other body positivity books out there, but this is the one the girls of color I work with truly need.

Jennifer Berger , body image educator; and executive director of the nonprofit organization, About-Face

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2020 by Virgie Tovar

Instant Help Books

An imprint of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup/Sara Christian

Acquired by Jennye Garibaldi

Edited by Teja Watson

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data on file

For every girl who has felt ugly, wrong, bad, weak you are beautiful, you are right, you are good, you are powerful beyond imagination.

Contents

Introduction

Dear Person Reading This,

Hello.

Theres a myth that girls dont understand their bodies and that you cant trust your body. The truth is that you know your body better than anyone on this planet ever will. This makes you an expert. Your body tells you when it likes something and when it doesnt. Your body tells you when it likes a person and when it doesnt. Your body knows when youre in danger and when youre safe.

Listen to your body. Its giving you information all the time. Your job is to clear away as many obstacles as you possibly can so that you can hear all the messages and secrets it has for you. Obstacles include things like toxic relationships, abusive households, teachers who put you down, friends who dont support you, bullying and emotional abuse, self-criticism, dieting, sexism, and fatphobia.

Girls grow up learning to be afraid of their bodies because other people teach them to feel that way. Your body is political because when you listen to it, you have the power to radically transform the culture, the planet, and history. Of course the culture is telling you not to listen to your body, because if you do that means that the culture isnt in control of youyou are!

This can feel super scary. Its also totally awesome, and absolutely necessary if youre going to have the sparkly life you totally deserve to have.

Whenever youre at a crossroads, just ask yourself two questions: Does my body deep down like this? and Does this honor the magical babe that I am? And if the answer to both is yes, do that thing.

In addition to being a book about your relationship to your body, this is also a book about body justice.

I think of body justice like its a three-story house. The first floor is very important because this is the floor thats about your relationship to yourself and your body; this is the floor dedicated to self-love. Self-love can be defined lots of ways, but for now lets say its about recognizing that perfection is not something we need to earn, but instead is a natural state that we already always possess.

The second floor of the house is about your community. This floor is about sharing with our friends and the people we love tools and education that will help them live their best lives.

The third floor is about the culture, and changing it so that everyone can feel safe in the body they have. Changing the culture can start with imagining what we want to see in the future.

In this book well talk about all three of these floorsthe whole house.

But first, let me tell you whos writing this thing youre reading.

My name is Virgie. Im thirty-six years old. I was born and raised in California, in the Bay Area. Im a Taurus. My mother is Mexican-American and my dad is from Iran. I was raised by my grandparents, both Mexican immigrants. Im kind of a hippie bohemian who lives by the ocean in San Francisco. I believe in magic. I believe in the power of doughnuts. I am a fat activist, meaning I fight against fat hatred in our culture so that people of all sizes can live good lives (not just thin people). I weigh 250 pounds. I have a bachelors degree and a masters degree. I love coffee, traveling to other countries, Chihuahuas, and neon nail polish. I have friends all over the world; most of them are rad women. I identify as a feminist, an anti-racist, and a proud fat babe. The things that matter to me most are: social justice, my friends, eating delicious stuff, seeing as much of the world as possible, healing myself from a dysfunctional childhood and years of hating myself for being fat, dating people I really like, and wearing the biggest jewelry I can find.