Liz Reinhardt - The Flipside of Perfect

Liz Reinhardt is a perpetually homesick NJ native who is currently living in coastal Georgia with her two hilarious daughters, motorhead husband, and growing pack of mutts. Shes a fanatical book lover with no reading prejudices and a wide range of genre loves, but her heart will always belong to YA. In her spare time she likes to hang out with her feisty kids, make elaborate playlists for long family car trips, and travel whenever she can scrape together a few bucks. She enjoys chocolate-covered raisins even if they arent real candy, the Oxford comma even though its nerdy, and airports even when her plane is delayed. Shes a sporadic social media user, but the best place to follow her for updates is on Instagram, @liz.reinhardt.writes.

Books by Liz Reinhardt available from Inkyard Press

Rebels Like Us

The Flipside of Perfect

The Flipside of Perfect

Liz Reinhardt

Be nice to your siblings. Theyre your best link to your past
and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Mary Schmich, Chicago Tribune

To my amazing siblings:
Katie, Zachary, Jack, Megan, Jessica, Jillian, Jamie.

Its a fantastic honor to be your big sister,
even when youre annoying. Love you guys.

Contents

Freshman Year

FLORIDA

When I was a little kid, I always thought I was double lucky for having two of everythingtwo families to love, two houses to grow up in, two sets of siblings, two times the gifts and attention and laughs. But this summerthe summer I was fourteenI start to see the flaws in that logic.

Della! You really smell-a! I just have to tell ya! Cause Im a nice fella !

My brother, Duke, stands in my doorway, drumming the wall next to my bed with his palms, singing the ridiculous song he just made up to get me out of bed.

Any other summer morning, I would have launched assorted stuffed animals and pillows at his head and laugh-screamed for our sister DaniDukes twin, older than him by seven minutesto save me, and she would have flown down the hallway to my rescue. But this summer has been so different.

After weeks of trying to talk to Dani, make her laugh, or help her forget her sadness, I learn a very hard lesson: the worst thing you can go through is watching someone you love suffer without being able to do anything to help them.

Cmon, bugbite. Pancake time! Duke scoops me out of bed and throws me over his shoulder. Or tries, anyway. Oof. Youre, like, twelve feet tall all of a sudden, Jolly Green Giant.

Having to walk down the hall to our sunny kitchen instead of being bounced on Dukes shoulder definitely takes some of the fun out of our morning rumbles.

As we head toward the smell of breakfast pancakes sizzling on the frying pan, I ask Duke the same question Ive already asked a million times this summer.

Is Dani okay?

Duke pushes his thick hair off his forehead and blows out a long breath. You know how tight she and Nan Sunny were. Were all really sad. Like...this has been the hardest year of my life, and I miss my grandma every day. But I think its the worst for Dani.

When Nan Sunny had a heart attack and died suddenly this past winter, Dad called Michigan to let me know, but part of me hadnt totally believed it was true. I still come around corners and expect to see her all over our cozy cottage. Ill find little thingsher tortoiseshell hair combs in the bathroom cabinet, her thin-framed embroidery glasses on the TV stand, her tulip-patterned shower cap tucked into a pile of towels in the laundry roomand Ill immediately feel sucker punched.

I miss her so much, too. I let Duke pull me into a bear hug.

My brother always smells like freshly turned dirtprobably because hes always digging around in it. With Dani locked away in her room so much this summer, Duke and I have been going treasure huntinghell lug his metal detector to a random patch of yard or beach, swing it around in slow arcs, get a ping, and then well take bets on whether its going to be total garbage or the find of a lifetime.

Its almost always garbage, but thats okay. I miss hanging out with Dani, but I love spending time with my big brother, even if were mostly just digging holes.

You know she would have told you, you need to eat. I point to his chair and do my best impression. Eat, eat! Youre too skinny! Look at your bones! Eat! Nan Sunny lived in Italy until she was fifteen, and she still had this great accent, especially when she was talking about her two passionsfood and family.

Dad laughs. Feels like shes standing in the kitchen with me. Mornin, sunshine. Im sure gonna miss seeing this little face every day. Dad squeezes my cheeks, making my lips puff out, and kisses my forehead. You all packed up? Ready to get back to it?

Mmm-hmm, I murmur. I dont want to admit that Im packed, but Im not remotely ready to go back. Usually by the time summer ends, Im eager to see my sisters and Mom and my stepdad again. And Ive always been so excited for the first day of school, because I amas Duke so charmingly describes mea bona fide Grade A nerd. But this fall is the first fall since preschool that I wont be going to Trinity Lutheran, the K8 private school Marnie, Lilli, and I have all attended since we graduated from Good Shepherd Pre-K.

Ill be a high-school freshman at St. Matthews. Its weird to think Marnie and Lilli will put on their green-and-yellow-plaid jumpers, and Ill wear a navy-and-white kilt; Mom will drive them to the school of our childhood, and Peter will drop me off at my brand-new high school, alone.

My stomach rolls over every time I think about it.

Are you excited to go back to school? I ask Duke as Dad loads a heaping pile of banana and chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream on my plate. Nan Sunny would have made the whipped cream in her mixer, but we just use the canned stuff now.

Not even a little bit. Dad, hit me! Duke holds up his plate, and Dads smile is full of mischief. My brother and my father dont always see eye to eye, but they can both be super goofy. Dad settles a pancake on the spatula, tests its weight, and slings it. Duke catches it half on his plate, half with his hand, and whoops before sitting down at the table with me. He shakes the whipped cream container and tilts his head back, filling his mouth with the fluffy stuff.

Arent you, like, even a little bit excited for senior year? I prod. Youre, like, such a good student.

Meh. Duke shrugs. I make good grades. Thats not really the same thing as being a good student. Most of the time Im pretty bored at school, but this year the local community college is doing a program with the seniors, and I got in at the last second. So, maybe this year will be cool? He stuffs a huge bite of pancake in his mouth and seems to swallow without chewing. Im not betting on it, though.

I think youre finally going to find your place in college. Dad plunks down next to me, his calloused hand cupping a mug of steaming coffee, and eyes Danis door nervously. A smart guy like you needs to be challenged, and Coral High was never gonna do that.

Duke gives Dad a curious look, but a creak from Danis door focuses our attention in her direction. She comes out in a loose maxi dress, hair fixed, makeup on, and we dont even try to hide our excitement.

Hey! Good morning! Come eat! we all cheer in a chorus of voices.