Holly Richmond - Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life

Richmond combines theory and practice into a singular work of clinical insight that is sure to prove indispensable in helping mental health professionals guide survivors of sexual trauma from pain to passion. The exercises at the end of each chapter are awesome!

Ian Kerner , codirector of the sex therapy program at the Institute For Contemporary Psychotherapy, and New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First

Holly Richmond is a wealth of knowledge when it comes to trauma and sexual healing. Her writing is dynamic, loving, and affirming in a way all survivors of sexual trauma deserve. Reclaiming Pleasure will undoubtedly be an invaluable resource for both trauma survivors and practitioners like myself who work with these incredibly brave individuals.

Gigi Engle, ACS , certified clinical sexologist, and author of All the F*cking Mistakes

In her groundbreaking book, Holly Richmond promises stuck survivors cut off from integral parts of ourselves that we canand will experience desire, ecstasy, and eroticism again (or for the very first time). Thenand this part is importantshe shows us how . A beautifully written must-read for survivors ready to thrive.

Linda Kay Klein , author of Pure , and founder of Break Free Together

Finally, a smart and truly helpful book for survivors who want to experience sexual pleasure, passion, and joy. These are your right, and Holly Richmond will help you access them.

Wednesday Martin, PhD , #1 New York Times bestselling author of Untrue and Primates of Park Avenue

Holly Richmond manages to bridge information with heart, touching on subject matter that so many of us hide deep inside. She calls us all into the process of reclaiming pleasure, but also reclaiming ourselves in the process. I am thankful the world has this resource of a book, and the wise, impactful words of Holly Richmond.

Chinae Alexander , social entrepreneur, content creator at ChinaeAlexander, writer, speaker, and host of the Press Send Podcast

Blending both grounded theory and narrative, Holly Richmonds work, Reclaiming Pleasure , takes the taboo and forbidden topics like sexuality and violation into the light of clear understanding. Richmond provides invaluable vocabulary and nuanced definitions for the complicated but necessary conversations that guide survivors to behavior that ensures our thriving. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Reclaiming Pleasure is both affirming and empowering and has facilitated life-altering healing

Colin Bedell , cosmopolitan astrologer, and best-selling author

Paving the way forward for survivors and those who love them, Reclaiming Pleasure is a doorway to vitality, freedom, and transformation. It gives vocabulary to the ideas and feelings many have but havent yet been able to articulate. Reading it feels like going on a road trip with your best friend, wise mentor, and healing balm in one.

Mal Harrison , executive director of The Center for Erotic Intelligence

I am thrilled to have the opportunity to endorse this insightful and much-needed book by Holly Richmond. Richmond gives high-quality and important information to help those who have experienced sexual trauma live a passionate and sex-positive life. The book is well written, easy to follow, and gives behavioral exercises that are valuable and easy to understand.

Rachel Needle, PsyD , codirector of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, and licensed psychologist and executive director at Whole Health Psychological Center

Holly Richmond makes an invaluable contribution to the field of psychotherapy where trauma and sexuality do not usually intersect. Her book is the first to talk about going from sexual trauma to sexual triumph inclusive of sex-positive information. Without this, clients are left on their own without help to identify what sex and erotica is for them. This book provides a pathway for those interested in healing with a sexual health component.

Joe Kort, PhD, LMSW , author of Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi? ; and codirector of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes

This book is dedicated to all of the survivors who have courageously shared their heads and heartsmy greatest teachers and perpetual stars.

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

NEW HARBINGER PUBLICATIONS is a registered trademark of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2021 by Holly Richmond

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

In consideration of evolving American English usage standards, and reflecting a commitment to equity for all genders, they/them is used in this book to denote singular persons.

Cover design by Amy Daniel; Acquired by Jennye Garibaldi; Edited by Mya Byrne

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Richmond, Holly, author.

Title: Reclaiming pleasure : a sex-positive guide for moving past sexual trauma and living a passionate life / Holly Richmond, PhD.

Description: Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publication, [2021] | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021017860 | ISBN 9781684038428 (trade paperback)

Subjects: LCSH: Sexual abuse victims--Sexual behavior. | Sexual health. | Sex instruction.

Classification: LCC HV6625 .R53 2021 | DDC 362.88301/9--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021017860

Thriving, a Manifesto

I will grow, fl ourish, prosper, and realize a goal despiteand because ofmy circumstances.

Contents

Foreword

There is nothing wrong with you. Something happened to you. Thats different.

Holly Richmond

Because this is a book about sexual trauma, you surely wish you did not need to read it. But here is what I promise you: this is a book you will be forever grateful you read. I hope you know that you are beyond brave for even picking this book up. Your willingness to open it reflects your commitment to your healingor at least your curiosity about the potential for your healing.

I have spent the last two decades working as a licensed clinical psychologist, a professor, and a relationship expert. I have studied trauma and worked with survivors, and what I know for sure is that healing is a journey. I also know for sure that Holly will be your competent and gentle guide on this journey . Holly and I first crossed paths when we were both on faculty at an annual conference hosted by the iconic couples therapist Esther Perel. When we introduced ourselves, I had that rare and wonderful sense I was meeting someone I had known for a long time. I was immediately struck by her warmth and humility. Then she took the stage to give her talk. She commanded this room full of hundreds of therapists and coacheswe hung on her every word. She shared stories about her many years of working with survivors of sexual trauma, moving seamlessly between science, stories, and skills. She was magnificent.