Julia Corbett-Hemeyer - Reclaiming Our Souls: A Womans Guide to Healing the Spirit After Sexual Abuse

Reclaiming Our Souls is an intelligent self-help book that combines theory, examples, and practice. Its also a memoir in that I tell the story of my own journey through healing. Although I wrote it primarily for you who, like me, have survived sexual abuse, it is also a resource for the professionals who counsel you, and for family and friends who love you. I do not promote any single form of spirituality; rather, I encourage and help you to identify and connect with your own spiritual resources and use them to help heal your wounds. The practical exercises put tools that have a proven track record into your hands and make the material in the book tangible. The Many Paths Interfaith Ministries website also has a division devoted to the book and to the topic of childhood sexual abuse broadly (www.ManyPathsInterfaithMinistries.net/reclaiming-our-souls.)

Reclaiming Our Souls originates with my sense of vocation. People who believe in a personal god or goddess often speak of being called by this deity to a particular task or vocation in their lives. My own sense of vocation comes through the circumstances of my life, the amazing twists and turns it has taken. It grew over time as I became more and more aware of the claim that my experience of abuse, recovery, and healing placed on my life. It has led me to use my experience, knowledge, and unique combination of gifts and professional training to reach out to others who are on the same long and engaging journey. I have been given many gifts, and those gifts have placed a claim on my life. Its a challenging claim, and a joyful one.

Writing about vocation, Christian theologian Parker Palmer encourages me to identify my true vocation by asking, is it my vocation? Am I gifted and called to do it? [Is it] a place of intersection between my inner self and the outer world... ? Christian theologian, novelist, and essayist Frederick Buechner writes that we can recognize our vocation because it is the work we most need to do and at the same time, the work that the world most needs to have done. Our true calling is the place where [our] deep gladness meets the worlds deep need. Its these motivations that underlie this project, the website I developed, and the other ways in which my ministry is embodied.

Since youre reading this, you have already taken an important step toward healing. Perhaps this is the first step youve taken; thats very important. You have begun. Whatever happens from here on out, now things are different. That having been said, I raise this question for your consideration: Is this the appropriate time in your journey for you to work with the suggestions presented in this book? It may be, or it might be better at another time. Some of the methods for spiritual healing I present are better used at later stages in the journey. Some are helpful at any stage. I indicate which are which.

The work you have begun is important and challenging. It will call for and call forth the best that is in you. It will be painful. It will also be joyful and uplifting, and will offer surprises around every turn. I know, because Ive been there.

I am a spiritual care provider, a spiritual counselor. For me, this encompasses elements of both pastoral counseling and spiritual guidance. I am a seminary-trained interfaith minister and a part-time hospital chaplain. Im a part-time community minister in a Unitarian Universalist church. Im neither a psychologist nor a psychotherapist, though my training has included a lot of psychology. Im also a retired university professor of world religions. I focus on how our life histories and journeys through abuse and healing affect our relationship with the sacred ground of our lives, however we may name that.

Im also a survivor. My father sexually abused me in several ways from the time I was four or maybe five years old until my parents divorced and he moved out when I was twelve. There was also emotional and physical abuse, and the effects of his alcoholism and womanizing affected our family dynamics as well. This may be enough for you to know right now. I tell my story, as best I remember it, in greater detail on my website, where youre welcome to read it if you choose(www.ManyPathsInterfaithMinistries.net/reclaiming-our-souls/my-story).

Having endured sexual abuse as a child often undermines our ability to develop a life-enhancing, satisfying, and healthy spiritual or religious outlook later in life. Let this book be a compassionate and wise spiritual mentor to accompany you as you build or rebuild healthy, vital connections with yourself, with other people, and with the Holy, however you name that. Reclaiming a vibrant and healthy relationship with what you experience as sacred or holy is part of complete healing, and can add depth and conviction your life.

Right from the beginning, I hope you will take the time to reflect on what youre reading, to relate it to your own journey. Ive introduced a reflection question below. You may want to record your answers in a journal; theres more on journaling in chapter 6. Ive included many suggestions for active healing in each chapter, ways for you to engage actively with the content of the book, to discover what works for you wherever you are on your journey right now.

Active Healing: If you read my story on the website, how did that affect you? Does it raise questions you would like to ask me? If you choose, you may communicate with me through my website; each page has a contact link. Ill answer your questions to the best of my ability.

This is a book to be used rather than simply read, but there is no one right way to do that. Your approach will depend on where you are in your healing, what challenges are foremost in your life, and what you bring to the book in terms of prior experience. The first part, Sexual Abuse and Spirituality, begins with discussions of sexual abuse and of spirituality. The next part, Basic Tools for Healing, introduces the tools youll be using throughout the book. Id suggest reading these first six chapters before getting into the more specific material that follows.

From there, you might want to work straight through the book. Alternatively, you may choose to begin with an issue that is especially relevant for you. One way to approach this book is to read through it once so that you have a sense of the whole, then return to those parts that most address your concerns. The third part, A Journey Through Healing, offers you more specific tools focused on several goals and tasks of healing.